


His Savior

by RJSugden



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Abuse, Domestic Violence, Drug Use, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, M/M, Physical Abuse, Rape/Non-con Elements, Self-Harm, Sexual Abuse, Suicidal Thoughts, very dark
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-19
Updated: 2017-09-13
Packaged: 2018-08-09 17:02:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 17
Words: 49,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7810072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RJSugden/pseuds/RJSugden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. Aaron thought he found the man of his dreams. It was all so perfect, he was perfect, but it was only on the outside. Inside he's ugly but Aaron never saw until it was too late. Married two years, Aaron suffers from physical and mental abuse, thinking there's no way he can be saved, too scared to leave on his own. Then he meets Robert: his friend, his confidant, and possibly his Savior.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Fairy Tale

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: lots of trigger warnings. This fic will have many forms of abuse and I don't want to upset anyone, so if you can't handle please do not read! 
> 
> It's very dark and disturbing and will go into details of domestic abuse, self harming, and rape. I'm not sure where I'm going with this at the moment, I have some plans, but I'm just making it up as I go.

At first it had been perfect. A dream come true. Aaron had found the love of his life, someone he thought he'd never find, didn't deserve. It had honestly been like a fairy tale when he'd met Brandon. It had been such a simple meeting; Brandon showing up at the garage he worked at, needing his brake pads changed on his Mercedes. It had only been a few months after Aaron had returned from France, his break up with Ed still on his mind, and he hadn't been looking for anything serious. It was almost delightful when Brandon had started flirting with Aaron, and then shocking when he'd asked him to dinner the next night. 

Aaron's first response had been to say no. He wasn't looking for anything serious and a date meant that Brandon was looking for something serious. But there was something about Brandon that had intrigued Aaron. It wasn't his expensive Armani suit, his Mercedes, or the fact that he looked like he walked right off the cover of GQ magazine. 

He was handsome enough, gorgeous in fact. Jet black hair, dark smoldering eyes the color of coal, chiseled jaw that Aaron could lick his tongue across and make Brandon shiver. All facial features flawless, straight nose, plush pink lips, flawless cheekbones. His body was muscular, Aaron being able to tell even with the suit on. But Aaron wasn't one to focus on just looks, it mattered what was underneath and there was something Aaron couldn't say no to about Brandon. So he agreed to dinner with him. 

One date led to another and then another, soon things escalated quickly. It was two months into their relationship when Brandon confessed his unyielding love to Aaron. It had been surprising but at the same time not because Aaron was in love with him also. Still Aaron thought it was a fairly tale, and he was right it was complete fiction. 

It was good. Aaron hadn't ever found someone he was so comfortable with. Trusting Brandon with his secrets, even the darkest ones he never shared with anyone. Brandon was so gentle with him, caring, and loving. Aaron didn't even feel uncomfortable with his scars when he took his top off for the first time. Oh God, and the sex. Aaron hadn't ever found someone he was so compatible with in bed. Brandon was intense, all hands and deep probing looks, hot panting breaths in Aaron's ears that made him quiver on the inside and out. Each time they made love it was insurmountable, making Aaron feel good in ways he didn't think possible. 

Aaron had never been shy in bed, but compared to Brandon he seemed like a blushing virgin. He taught Aaron how good sex can really be for both of them. Brandon got Aaron to do things in bed that Aaron never even thought possible, but Aaron enjoyed every single thing they did in bed together. 

Things moved quickly. It was three months in when Aaron decided to introduce Brandon to his family. He couldn't have been more pleased at the way most of them had taken to Brandon. Especially his mum. Chas adored Brandon, thinking her baby boy had hit the jackpot with this one and she could see just how happy he made Aaron. Of course not everyone liked Brandon, meaning his Uncle Cain.

Cain found Brandon to be pretentious, overbearing, and his exact words had been: “I don’t trust that smarmy git with our Aaron. He's _too_ clean, _too_ nice. No one is that perfect.” 

He tried to get Aaron to listen to reason, to make him see sense, but Aaron wouldn't have it. He loved Brandon and no one was going to stop them from being together. It was becoming difficult even being around Cain. He loved his Uncle but he wouldn't put up with his abuse toward Brandon, and his working conditions at the garage were really starting to weigh on him. 

Brandon was there for him. Listening and caring for him like always. He convinced Aaron to quit his job at the garage, that he could find a new job, and that he would help Aaron make it through until he did. Not a week after Aaron quit, he moved in with Brandon in his house in Hotten. A week after that, Brandon proposed and Aaron didn't even hesitate to say yes. He was madly in love and was getting married to the man of his dreams. Life was perfect. 

They had a small ceremony in Emmerdale, just family and a few friends, excluding Cain. It was perfect and maybe if Aaron hadn't been so blinded by “love” then he would have _seen_ the darkness in Brandon's eyes, the possessiveness in them as he slipped the wedding band onto Aaron's finger, but all Aaron could _see_ was love and hope for a beautiful future for both of them. 

They spent their honeymoon in Greece, and it was even more magical to Aaron, but when they returned home things began to change.


	2. Not a Fairy Tale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron gets a taste of what's only the beginning of his new life with Brandon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again very dark, so warnings to all that mentions of rape are in this chapter. Along with verbal abuse, suicidal thoughts, as well as homicidal thoughts.

It was small changes at first. Brandon had a few quirks that Aaron - too blinded by new love - hadn't noticed until their return from Greece. Brandon liked everything to be in order. His job as a solicitor paid very well, earning him enough to hire a maid to come everyday and clean his house from top to bottom. Her name's Maria and Aaron really hadn't thought anything of her at the time him and Brandon were dating. Brandon's house was huge, Home Farm not even comparing in rivalry, so it would be almost impossible for Brandon to keep his house clean on his own and be able to do his grueling job as well. 

Aaron didn't understand though why Maria was needed everyday when the house didn't become a mess over night. “I should have told you this before we were married, but well I have this illness.” 

“Oh my God,” Aaron had said, taking hold of his husband's hand, a sense of fear building in his gut. “You're sick?” 

“In a way,” Brandon had said and laid his hand to cover Aaron's. “It's more mental than physical. I was diagnosed as a child with OCPD - obsessive compulsive personality disorder. It's sort of like OCD but instead of repeating actions over and over I want - no I need to have everything be in order. It's why Maria comes everyday. I pay her very well - much more than a maid should make - to have her be here every single day to make sure everything stays organized the way I need it to be.” 

“Don't they have medication you can take, y'know, to help with that part of your brain that tells you you need it to be organized?” 

“I quit taking it,” Aaron had frowned and moved his hand so he could lace their fingers together instead. Brandon could read him like a book, and saw that Aaron didn't like that he wasn't taking medication he should be. “I didn't like the way it made me feel, sort of like it shut down this part of me, a part of me I liked. It's fine, honestly. It helps having Maria around, but I was thinking…” 

“What?” Aaron pushed. 

“Well since you don't have a job yet, I was thinking that maybe you could help Maria out or even take over for her until you get a job. It's a waste to pay her when you're here all day anyway. Besides I trust you more than her.” 

Aaron instantly felt guilty. He hadn't gotten a job since he quit working at the garage. Brandon didn't push, saying he preferred having Aaron there when he left in the morning and there when he came home in the evenings. Still the guilt of him not having a job, living off his husband like a leech, settled a heavy weight of guilt in his chest. Brandon once again read the emotions playing on Aaron's face. 

“Don't feel guilty,” he stroked a hand down the side of Aaron's face, Aaron instantly leaning into the touch he loved so much. “I already told you I love having you be home. I can keep Maria on though if you prefer.” 

Honestly Aaron didn't want to stay home all day and clean their house the way Maria does. He's not exactly a house husband, nor is he Brandon's slave. He winced at the thought, knowing that he's Brandon's husband not his slave, and feels guilty once again for even thinking that way of the man he loves. _It's an illness_ , Aaron tells himself, _he can't help it and if there's anything I can do to lessen his burden. I am his husband after all…_

“Okay, but I'm still going to look for a job. How about we keep Maria on one or two days a week and the others I can take care of the house?” Something flashes in Brandon's eyes - it going by too fast for Aaron to define what it was - but it had been something that darkened his eyes a fraction. 

“That's . . . reasonable. I'll have Maria work for the next two weeks as normal, that way she can teach you how everything needs to be. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about this before, but it's not something I like to discuss.” 

Aaron squeezed his hand, feeling slightly resentful towards Brandon for not telling him sooner. Aaron had divulged every dark secret he kept to Brandon, even the one about his father and what Gordon had done to him as a child. No one knew that but Brandon. It hurt that a part of Brandon hadn't trusted Aaron enough to let him know about his illness. 

“I love you,” Aaron said and leaning close so his lips were hovering over Brandon's. “Anything I can do to help,” he closed the minimal gap between them and sunk into the kiss, enjoying it greatly. Brandon laughed slightly after he broke the kiss and pushed Aaron away. 

That was another slight change. While they'd been dating, it had been hot and heavy between them, constantly. Aaron wasn't a fan of public display of affection, him finding it embarrassing being all over someone when intimate acts like that were meant to be behind closed doors. Brandon had been different, wanting to show Aaron off and kiss him in public, hold his hand, express his love for Aaron to anyone who would listen. Yes, at first Aaron had been uncomfortable but after a while he began to realize he liked it, not to mention it felt right that Brandon loved him so much that he couldn't hold it in. Now though - Aaron noticing the change beginning in Greece - Brandon sort of pushed him away. Aaron chalked it up to the fact that they're married now and Brandon doesn't have to try as hard to make sure people know they're together, not with the gold bands decorating their ring fingers, but it still wouldn't hurt for him to be affectionate in their own home. 

“How about we go upstairs?” Aaron suggested, “or right here is fine for me.” 

“Later. I have a lot of work to finish, this case is wearing me down. Tonight though,” he kissed the top of Aaron's head, grabbed his files and laptop from the table to take with him to his office. Aaron never goes in there, Brandon specifically asking him to steer clear of it. Even Maria keeps out of his office. “I'll talk with Maria tomorrow.” 

“Okay.” Aaron's light tone didn't let on how crestfallen he was feeling. 

Brandon's job kept him working long hours, locking himself away in his office for hours after he returned home; sometimes keeping himself shut away in there into the late hours of the night, but always making time to join Aaron for dinner, but then going straight back. Aaron didn't whine, he wasn't a whiner, but sometimes he really wanted to especially since all he wants is to spend time with his husband. 

****

Aaron kept being surprised by the amount of work Maria put into their home. No wonder Brandon paid her so well for some of the work she has to do. 

“Mr. Houser is very specific about everything. I've left a list of what he likes to be done, and I suggest you follow it to a tee.” 

Not only alone with the house always needing to be spotless, everything also had to be organized in a precise manner. His CDs - by artist in alphabetical order, his DVDs - alphabetical by title and all of them facing the same direction and God forbid one of the movies or CDs be in the wrong case. The kitchen needed to be scrubbed down daily “Mr. Houser is a bit if a germ-a-phobe.” The dishes couldn't have food left on or the water spots, and had to be organized exactly by size, group, and color. Same with the food in the fridge. And don't even get Aaron started on the refrigerator magnets. The pantry was close to the same, all cans went with cans, and boxed food went with boxed food; all the labels facing outward and lined up evenly. Aaron was beginning to regret taking over for Maria who's been doing these things for years. 

Upstairs in the bedrooms, all beds had to be stripped and washed every other day even if they weren't slept in - Aaron's and Brandon's have to be done daily. Clothes can't be left in the hamper for more than three days, and they have to be washed with a precise amount of laundry detergent for the certain size of the load. Everything needed to be dusted daily, carpeted floors needed to be vacuumed every other day, and hardwood floors needed to be swept daily, same with the linoleum floors. Windows are washed once a week, unless smudged and if so needed to be taken care of right away. Bathroom; toilets had to be cleaned daily, same with shower if used if not then once a week. The sink counters had to be organized and no water spots or toothpaste left to be seen. The towels that hang up must be matching, lined up perfectly, and if monogrammed facing outward. 

Pictures must be hung up even on the walls. Knickknacks, vases, art all must be kept a certain way and evenly spaced and straight if sitting on a surface. Furniture has to be organized the way Brandon had put it when he first moved in, and there was absolutely no way in hell it can ever be rearranged. 

Clothes in their closet or drawers have to be organized by article of clothing - t-shirts with t-shirts, long sleeved shirts with long sleeved shirts, jeans with jeans, slack with slacks, and all have to be organized by color as well. 

As Maria walked him through, he began to notice just how obsessive she was over all of this as well, how she planted it in his head over and over that he mustn't forget anything she tells him. He also can't help but notice how she's sounds a little frightened when she tells him to never ever forget to have everything organized the way Brandon wants it. 

When Aaron is finished going over everything with her, it taking almost his entire day to do so, he finally makes the excuse that he has start dinner. It's not finished by the time Brandon returns home, already in a foul mood, and lays into Aaron's as soon as he finds out dinner isn't ready. 

“I go out and I work all day and what do you do? Nothing! I bust my ass so I can take care of you and you can't even show your appreciation by having dinner ready for me? God, Aaron, you're so useless!” 

Aaron doesn't understand where his hostility is coming from. He's never seen Brandon act this way, and the words passing through his mouth slice Aaron to his core. Aaron's own worst fears, pouring out his husband's lips; the man he loves more than anything, screaming at him what Aaron's always thought of himself. Useless. He fights back tears, but some leak out on their own accord and that seems to fuel Brandon's anger. 

“Jesus fuck,” Brandon says sickeningly, “why are you fucking crying? Stop it! I hate when people cry for no reason. It's pathetic, but you'd know all about being pathetic, don't you?” 

“W-Why are y-you being like this?” Aaron sobbed out, arms going around his abdomen as he curls in on himself. “I'm s-s-sorry!” 

“Oh you're sorry? Well so am I. Sorry that I married a pathetic excuse for a man!” Brandon turned and stormed out of the room, Aaron distantly hears the door to his office slam shut, making him jump and cry faster. 

Aaron dropped his head into his hands, tears cascading down like a waterfall, tasting of pain and self loathing. How could Brandon - his husband, his love, the man who was kind and gentle and didn't have a mean bone in his body - be so cruel and heartless towards Aaron when not once he had he ever shown that side of himself before? It didn't make sense. 

Through his tears, Aaron lifted his head and made out a blurry figure standing in the kitchen doorway, staring at him. He blinked and wiped away his tears to find Maria standing there, looking at him with pity. That made Aaron angry. Who was she to stand there and look at him in such a manner? “Can I help you?” He said coldly, his voice only shaking slightly. “N-No Mr. Houser. I'm sorry for disturbing you!” 

“Then go away!” She scurried off, giving one last glance at Aaron over her shoulder. Aaron Houser. Suddenly Aaron realized how foreign that name is and how it didn't really fit with his name. 

He begins to think that maybe it was a mistake marrying Brandon. No matter how much that thought pained him, he had to admit that he didn't know much about Brandon. Had his Uncle Cain been right? _No!_ Aaron thought resolutely. _I love Brandon and he loves me, that's all I need to know_. Still, this nagging voice sits in the back of his brain, whispering to him that he may have made a huge mistake in marrying so young, so fast. 

He sniffles as he finished up their dinner, plating it out and placing it on the table, not even sure Brandon wanted to join him (Aaron not too sure he wants Brandon to join him). He's digging around in the fridge for two bottles of beer when Brandon's arms wrap around his waist. He tensed, then soon relaxed into his husband's arms. 

“I'm so sorry,” he whispered into Aaron's neck, giving a gentle kiss right below his jawline. “What I said … I meant none of it. I had a really bad day at work and I took it out on you. It was so unfair of me. Please tell me you forgive me?” 

Aaron sighed, believing every word that dripped off of Brandon's tongue that had not twenty minutes ago spewed hatred towards Aaron. He turned in Brandon's arms, shutting the fridge as he did so. “I forgive you,” Aaron said and kissed him softly. 

“I will never ever speak that way to you again. I love you so much, Aaron.” 

“I love you too, Brandon.” 

Two years later and Aaron wished he hadn't believed he was sorry, wished still that when Brandon apologizes from broken ribs or a cracked skull, black and purple bruises and all the other sick twisted things he does to Aaron that he still didn't believe him, but he does. God help Aaron, but he still loves his husband, but at times he wishes him dead. 

If only he could find a way out, but it's hard when you're alone with no one but your abusive husband. Most days Aaron thinks it would be easier to slit his wrists open and put an end to his suffering. The scars that once had only decorated his abdomen now coat his chest, arms, the inside of his thighs, and random ones in places he can reach on his body. He can't even look in the mirror anymore. He wants out, wants to stay in hope Brandon will change for him, wants to bash Brandon's head in while he sleeps, wants to hang himself from the rafters in the attic, but most of all he doesn't want to be alone anymore. He's so alone. If only there was someone...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it went sort of fast there at the end, skipping from the past to Aaron s thoughts in the present. I won't be skipping over the two years of abuse, I just wanted you to have a sense of how Aaron feels two years into their marriage. Next chapter will be going into detail of the beginnings of physical abuse, rape, and more emotional and mental abuse, along with self harming as well.
> 
> It will make more sense later on why Aaron is so alone, why he no longer has his family, but that's not until he starts confiding in Robert. I'll explain all of it then.


	3. It Will Never Happen Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron experiences more of Brandon's abuse as it turns physical.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long. Warnings as usual. No I haven't brought Robert into the story yet but I will be doing so soon.

Aaron can remember it like yesterday, or maybe that's because yesterday Brandon had hit him a few times for burning dinner, but that first time sticks with him like memory sense. It hangs about like a bad smell, never going away. The first time Brandon had hit Aaron was right after Adam had been released from prison. 

They'd had a few more fights since the last time, each time they got intense mainly on Brandon's part, spewing hateful words at Aaron that made him want dig into his skin with a razor. They were over trivial things, dinner being late, Aaron had forgotten to straighten the towels or strip a bed clean, folded the clothes wrong, or over Brandon's drinking. When they'd been just dating Brandon never really drank around Aaron. A glass wine here or there, sometimes a few beers, but nothing stronger than that. Turns out Brandon enjoys the occasional bourbon, and occasional means at least half a bottle to a bottle a night. 

That's when the fights would get the worst. Screaming matches Aaron was sure the neighbors could hear, Brandon smashing things each time, terrifying Aaron. He often threatened Aaron, telling him to be an obedient husband or he'd put him in his place, and each time Aaron stood his ground threatening to leave if he didn't stop drinking and treating him poorly. They were just words on Aaron's part because every time the fight was over Brandon would beg for forgiveness, plead with Aaron to stay, and that he'd change. Aaron believed. 

When Adam was released from prison he was ecstatic. He couldn't wait to introduce his husband to his best friend, and visa versa. They'd driven up to Emmerdale. Aaron's first trip back since their honeymoon, and you could feel the waves of happiness rolling off him. Brandon was less enthusiastic about the whole thing, whining about spending the night in Emmerdale when he had so much work to do. It had taken some convincing on Aaron's part, and finally Brandon begrudgingly agreed to go. 

The night had gone smoothly, from Aaron's point of view at least. His family still gushed over Brandon, and even Cain tried to be nice towards him but mostly sat in a booth with Moira and glowered in their direction the entire time. Adam got along well with Brandon and visa versa. Aaron was having a good time, drinking, hanging out with his family and his best mate. It's the best he's felt since his and Brandon's honeymoon in Greece. 

Somewhere in the middle of the evening, Adam had latched onto Aaron's arm and dragged him into the back so it was just the two of them. “Alright mate, be honest with me. Are you happy with him?” 

“Yeah,” Aaron had said a little too enthusiastically, which made Adam look at him with doubt. “It's more difficult than I thought it would be,” Aaron admitted, not being able to lie to Adam. “But I want it to work. I love him, and he does make me happy.” _Sometimes_ , Aaron had thought to himself, knowing if he had said that word out loud then Adam would have questioned Aaron until he broke down and told him about the fighting and Brandon's drinking. 

“All that matters is your happiness, mate. After Jackson and Ed, you deserve to be happy with someone.” 

They'd hugged, Aaron holding tight, and that's when Brandon had walked into the back room looking for Aaron. He watched the scene between Adam and Aaron with jealousy in his eyes. “Are you ready to go. It's getting late and I have a deposition early tomorrow.”   
“Right yeah,” Aaron said and let go of Adam. “I'll see you soon. Keep out of trouble!” 

“I'll do my best,” he promised. They hugged again but neither of them saw the anger in Brandon's eyes. 

The ride home was silent on Brandon's part as Aaron talked on and on about how great tonight had been. “We should go out more often. You really seemed to enjoy yourself and it was great seeing my family and my mates. I think Adam really liked you, which is good 'cause I like you. He was the one I was worried about you impressing,” Aaron reached over and took Brandon's hand and tried not to be saddened by the way Brandon jerked his hand away as soon they brushed skin. “Adam's been there for me through everything, and it's great that you like each other. You're both really important to me.” 

It went silent after that, Aaron giving up on trying to converse with Brandon; his stony silence was enough of a hint that he wasn't in the mood for idle chit chat. When they returned home, Aaron tried again.

“Are you tired? I can take care of everything down here and you can go up to bed.” 

“Why, so you can sneak out and go and see Adam?” Brandon had his back to Aaron as they stood in the foyer, Aaron stepping away from the door and moving closer to Brandon. 

“You what?” Aaron questioned, not sure why Brandon would say something like that. 

“Sneak out. Go and see your precious Adam. How long have you been in love with him?” Aaron gaped at him for a second or two before scoffing and shoving past him, heading into the kitchen, turning on lights as he went. “You won’t even deny it!” 

“Why are asking me to justify myself to you? I'm your husband. I married to you!” Aaron grabbed a bottle of beer from the fridge, slamming the door a little to hard and rattled the contents inside. “Adam is my mate, nothing more!” 

“So you've never had feelings for him?” Aaron looked away, popping the top off the bottle and taking a drink. “You did, didn't you?” 

“It was a long time ago,” Aaron said but still didn't look at Brandon. It actually wasn't that long ago. He came back from France - with the possible chance of going to prison - just for Adam. Edna had made him see sense, Adam wasn't meant for him and it helped him move on. But loving someone for so long was almost impossible to make it go away completely. “We were mates, best mates. I tried it on with him once but he made it very clear he's not gay. I let it go.” 

“Did you love him?” Brandon demanded. 

“Yes,” Aaron answered. “But I don't anymore. I love you. Even if you are a jealous sod!”

Aaron made a move to pass him but Brandon stopped him, grabbing hold of his beer bottle and jerked it from his hand. He threw it across the room, it smashing against the stove. Glass and beer spraying everywhere. Aaron jumped and shoved Brandon away. “What the hell was that? I told you there's nothing between me and Adam you psycho!” 

“It didn't look like nothing. God the way you fawned over him all night. It was pathetic. You're pathetic.” Aaron was steadily becoming angry, and he when he gets angry he pushes back. “You made me feel like a fool. You're just a stupid slut. I can't believe I fell for you!” 

“Go to hell! You don't want me? Fine! I'll leave!” Aaron shoved Brandon hard, he fell against the kitchen island and he started to make for the stairs to go and pack his bags. He was almost to them when he was grabbed by the back of his hoodie, it being jerked against his neck and choking him so he gagged. It went away as quickly as it came, but he was grabbed by the arms, turned around, and slammed painfully hard up against a wall. Brandon's hand enclosed around his throat, not squeezing, but enough to keep him pinned to the wall. “The fuck? Get off me!” 

“You don't get to walk away from me!” Brandon spat, getting close enough that spit landed on Aaron's face. “You stupid bitch!” 

“What are you gonna do?” Aaron's words were taunting, pushing him to make a move. “You won't do anything. You're all talk. You're nothing but a jealous fool. You're right I did love Adam and I still do. I sometimes still think about what it'd be like if he fucked me!” 

It was lies. Aaron's love for Adam wasn't near as strong as it once was. It felt more like friendship, the way it should be between them. But Aaron needed to push Brandon. Push him away, make him leave. He hates this side of Brandon. Angry, jealous, controlling. Aaron isn't one to be controlled, husband or no husband. Brandon released his throat and stepped back. His already dark eyes growing darker, turning to slits as his hands curled into fists by his sides. “That's what I thought,” Aaron mocked. “You won't do shit.” 

It happened so fast Aaron missed Brandon's pullback. Like a rattlesnake, the back of Brandon's hand connected with side of Aaron's face. Knuckles connected with his temple, blurring his vision, and he was thrown backwards; his head banging against the wall with a dull thud. Tears instantly sprang to Aaron's eyes, and he wasn't sure if it was from the pain or the shock of Brandon hitting him. He honestly thought it wouldn't happen. He gripped his cheek where Brandon backhanded him, turning shocked eyes on Brandon who looked equally as shocked. 

“Aaron,” Brandon choked out and tried to take a step towards Aaron, who immediately flinched away from him. “Oh God. I'm so sorry, baby.”

Aaron didn't stick around. pushing his way past Brandon, he ran up the stairs taking them two at anytime until he made it to their bedroom and slammed the door and locked it behind him. He collapsed on the bed, hand still on his face and began to cry. It happened and ended so fast. The fight and his marriage. How could he have not seen who Brandon really is. _Gordon_ , Aaron thought, the name sending shivers down his spine, _he’s just like him!_

Aaron jumped about a mile when a knock came from the bedroom door, followed by Brandon's voice; soft and worried. “Aaron. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have done that. You were pushing me and I got so angry. I know that's not an excuse. Please come out and talk?” Aaron didn't say anything, didn't have anything to say. “Please, baby, I'm so sorry!” 

“Go away!” Aaron shouted. There was no sound for a few seconds before the door handle jiggled but wouldn't open. Then Aaron jumped when it sounded like Brandon kicked the door, then Aaron heard his retreating footsteps. 

He couldn't stay here. He was up and searching for his suitcase. He found his at the top of their closet, threw it on the bed and began filling it with clothes and things from the adjoining bathroom. When he was all packed, he took one deep breath before opening the door and running down the stairs. “Aaron?” Brandon called out as he heard the banging of Aaron's feet on the stairs. He rushed to meet him before Aaron could make it out the door. He looked at Aaron and then down at the suitcase and then back up. “Please, please, please don't leave. Please. I'm so sorry.” He stared cry, fat tears rolling down his cheeks as he begged his husband not to leave. “I'll do anything. Just don't go.” 

Aaron couldn't believe he was crying. He'd never seen Brandon cry, at least not so openly and vulnerable. Aaron has cried thousands of times in front of Brandon. _He must really regret what he did_ , Aaron thought and wavered on the idea of leaving. “I have a temper. I know that doesn't excuse what I did. I'm jealous. You were right. The thought that you loving someone else other than me…” 

He took a step towards and then a few more when Aaron didn't move away from him. The suitcase felt heavier than ever before. “The way you looked at Adam, I've never seen you look that way at me, and it made me so sad and jealous. I was so stupid.” 

“You hit me,” Aaron said, disgusted that the attack had even occurred. “Over nothing. I may have pushed, but I was angry. That gave you no right to put your hands on me like that! I think I need some time…” 

“Please don't leave me, Aaron! I've never loved anyone like I love you.” Brandon got closer, close enough that all he had to do was lift his arm and he could touch Aaron. “I promise it will never happen again. Please stay with me. I can't live without you now. I love you too much.” 

“If you ever...” Aaron warned him. 

“It won't. I swear it. Please stay, Aaron. Please?” Aaron clenched his jaw and closed his eyes. He gave a curt nod and suddenly Brandon's arms were around him and Aaron dropped the suitcase, letting his arms go around Brandon as well. 

That was the first time Aaron tried to leave, but it wouldn't be his last. He'd try again and again, but he always stays. Stays because Brandon cries, makes promises he never keeps, tells Aaron he'll better himself and do right by him. Promises to get help but never does. He's not sure anymore if it's the fear of trying to get away from Brandon, or the fear of being alone, or if it's the fact that one small part of him still loves Brandon and honestly believes one day things will change with him, but Aaron can't force himself out that door no matter how hard he tries. His worst thought is that he will go, but he's so damaged and fucked up now that he'll only have the choice but to return to Brandon; because as Brandon asks him often: “You honestly think anyone's gonna love trash like you, other than me?”

_No_ , Aaron thinks every time. And then he cries.


	4. It Happened Again and Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The abuse continues and worsens overtime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter has rape and self harm. This will be the last time I leave a warning in the notes. 
> 
> As you will read in this chapter Aaron's mental stability is crumbling, he's always had a rocky mental stability, but being with Brandon is crumbling it. Not to mention Brandon is very manipulative and controlling, and it doesn't help that Aaron feels alone and has started harming himself again.

The next morning things went back to normal. Brandon kissed him before he left for work, telling him he loved him and he’d be home later that night. He suggested they go out to dinner instead, but Aaron disagreed. This morning when he woke up and had gone to the bathroom, he caught sight of his face in the mirror. Tiny purple bruises lined his temple where Brandon’s knuckles had connected with his face, and there was a shadow of a bruise along his cheekbone. He didn’t want to go out looking like this. Brandon promised to bring home takeaway instead, kissing him for a second time and then leaving. 

Maria worked today so Aaron could go out and look for a job, but he honestly didn’t feel up to it. He was upstairs, suitcase packed and sitting next to it on the bed, willing himself to walk out of the room and the house, and away from Brandon. He chewed on his nails until most of them were bleeding, torn between staying and going. Brandon promised it wouldn’t ever happen again, but he also said he’d quit drinking and fighting with Aaron. Neither of those things has happened. Something was stopping him from grabbing his suitcase and walking out the door, walking out on Brandon. Aaron could only assume it was love. 

He jumped when the bedroom door opened and in walked Maria. “Oh I’m sorry, Mr. Houser. I thought you’d be gone. I can come-” She stopped suddenly. Her eyes landing on the bruises on the side of Aaron’s face, and then darting to the suitcase on the bed. Aaron straightened up and glared at her. 

“Is there something you’d like to say?” He demanded from her. 

“N-No. I-I’m sorry,” she stammered and took a step back towards the door. 

“Then get out!” She nodded quickly and turned around, shutting the door quietly behind her. Aaron felt guilty as soon as the door shut, wanting to call her back and apologize. He couldn’t go out, not now after the way Maria had looked at him. He wasn’t sure he could stomach strangers looking at him in the same way. 

He sighed and got up, unpacking his suitcase and it felt like defeat. 

****

Things went back to normal, as normal as they could. They still fought and he often watched Brandon’s hands clench into fists and fear would shiver up his spine but he didn’t lash out. At first. It was a month before Brandon abused him again. It was worse than the first time. On Aaron’s days off he’s been leaving the house each time, but he wasn’t going out looking for a job. He was meeting up with Adam or spending time with his family. He was helping Adam out on the farm, and it wasn’t like he was ignoring the fact that he needed a job, he was looking into it as him and Adam made plans to start up their own business together. It was looking like they might be starting up their own scrapyard if they could find someone to invest in them. 

The fight began because Aaron had come home after Brandon had. Walking in around eight that night, and he hadn’t thought to call and let Brandon know where he was. Brandon wasn’t his keeper, and he screamed this in his face as Brandon pinned him against the wall by his arms. Brandon was drunk, eyes bloodshot, and the smell of bourbon on his breath made Aaron’s eyes water. “WHERE WERE YOU!?” Brandon screamed. 

“EMMERDALE! YOU KNOW WHERE MY FAMILY AND MATES LIVE!” Aaron screamed back as he struggled against Brandon’s hold on him. 

“WITH ADAM?!” 

“YES WITH ADAM! HE’S MY MATE!” The grip on Aaron’s arms tightened enough to draw out a cry of pain from Aaron. 

“YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO SEE HIM!” Brandon screamed, jerking Aaron forward and snapped him back so his back and head slammed against the wall. Aaron gave another strangled cry. “DID YOU FUCK HIM? DID YOU?” 

“NO!” Aaron tried to kick out at Brandon’s leg, hoping he could get away and make a run for it. This angered Brandon even more and he sunk his fist into Aaron’s stomach. It knocked the air of him, he went limp in Brandon’s hold as he tried to breathe normally again. Brandon grabbed him by his hair and bashed his head against the wall. 

He screamed obscenities at Aaron as he punched him in the stomach twice more, finally letting Aaron go and he fell to the floor, arms wrapped around himself and he cried. “If you ever see him again, I will kill him.” He left Aaron on the floor in tears and pain. 

The next day Aaron tried to leave, packed his bags and listened as Brandon plead with him not go. Blaming his actions on the booze and promised he wouldn’t touch it again if Aaron stayed. He watched as Brandon threw all the alcohol in the house in the bin. Aaron cried, let Brandon take him gently into his arms and kiss him. “No more alcohol. I promise. This won’t happen again.” Aaron believed him and he let Brandon strip him of his clothes and make love to him. 

****

Not even a week later it happened again. They were up in their bedroom, Brandon wasn’t even drunk when he struck Aaron this time. His fist connecting with his jaw, making Aaron drop to the floor and Brandon proceeded to kick him the stomach. Neither of them could mistake the loud snapping sound of one of his ribs cracking. He left Aaron on the floor again. 

He let himself listen to Brandon plead and cry, and once again Aaron stayed. 

****

His mother calls him often, wanting him to come and visit or asks if she can come and visit him. He always makes up an excuse, saying him and Brandon are too busy, lies and says he has a new job that keeps him working with little free time. Aaron promises he’ll visit soon, though he knows he won’t. He barely leaves the house anymore, too ashamed of the bruises and cuts. Aaron started self harming again. Two new jagged, angry, red cuts decorate his abdomen, mixing in with the old scars. When he undresses in front Brandon, he takes notices as his eyes linger on them, but Brandon doesn’t comment and Aaron continues. 

Maria watches him often when they’re alone together. She never says anything, but her eyes say enough. Aaron hates the way she looks at him, and he becomes steadily short with her. Flying off the handle and often sending her home early so he doesn’t have her pitying eyes on him. He had enough pity for himself, he doesn’t need hers as well. He convinces Brandon to fire her, and promises he’ll take care of the house all by himself since he’s no longer going to look for a job. Brandon is pleased by the idea and fires her the next day. Aaron tries not to feel guilty. Now it’s just him and Brandon. 

****

Aaron didn’t think it was possible it could get worse. They had a somewhat normal sexual relationship. It was good when they both wanted it, but it wasn’t when Brandon had sex with him as an apology which he does often. A new bruise or cut caused by the hands that are supposed to be gentle and loving with Aaron, lead to Brandon taking his clothes off and making “love” to him. Aaron never tried to stop him. 

Brandon had promised to quit drinking, and for a while he did before returning back to the bottle. Aaron looked the other way. It was almost midnight when Brandon came home, Aaron had been worrying. He’d called his cellphone over and over, but Brandon never picked up. Aaron began to wonder if he was out cheating on him. When he came through the door, he stumbled over the threshold and had to grab the antique table by the door. “Woah,” he slurred and straightened up. 

“Where the hell have you been?” Aaron demanded. “My god,” he gagged as he got closer to Brandon, smelling the liquor radiating off him. “You stink! You’re drunk again!” 

“And you’re naggy,” Brandon pushed past him, stumbling as he walked into the kitchen. 

“Where were you, Brandon?” Aaron asked as he followed him into the kitchen, where Brandon was getting a glass of water. “I called you over and over! Why didn’t you answer my calls?” 

“I had a business thing,” he said before drinking his water. 

“A business thing? How unprofessional of you to get drunk then! Tell me the truth, were you cheating on me?” Aaron jumped as Brandon hurled the glass across the room and it smashed against the floor. “Forget it,” Aaron growled, not in the mood to fight, knowing it would only lead to something worse with how drunk Brandon is. “Sleep it off in the one of the guest rooms. I don’t want to smell you tonight!” 

Aaron left Brandon glaring at him and went upstairs to get ready for bed. He was about to climb into bed when Brandon walked in. Aaron straightened up and glared at him, and Brandon’s eyes darted down to Aaron’s chest where three new ugly cuts sat. Aaron turned for the chest of drawers to get a t-shirt to cover with, but Brandon stopped him. Coming close and grabbing hold of his wrist, leaning down to give Aaron a kiss, who immediately pulled away from him. 

“No!” Aaron growled and shook Brandon’s hold on his wrist away. “I don’t want you like this. Get out.” Aaron should have expected it, Brandon’s hand raised and Aaron flinched before he slapped him hard across the face. Aaron made to shove him away but Brandon grabbed hold of his biceps and pushed him towards the bed, throwing him down face forward. Aaron scrambled to get up, but was pinned down by Brandon’s weight. “GET OFF ME!” Aaron screamed into the mattress, thrashing and struggling under Brandon’s body. 

A hand sunk into his hair and yanked hard, making him cry out before his face was shoved into the mattress again as Brandon’s other hand ran down the side of his body. Panic set in and Aaron struggled harder than ever, trying to grab at Brandon’s hand in his hair. The hand in his hair let go, and grabbed his arm, twisting it around and pinning it to his back. Aaron screamed as Brandon twisted his arm the wrong way and shoved it up between his shoulder blades, and Aaron knew that if he moved in the wrong direction his arm would break. He heard the sound of Brandon’s zipper being pulled down, and then felt Brandon’s erection against his thigh. “No! No! Please God don’t do this!” 

Aaron’s boxers were removed, Brandon ignoring the way Aaron screamed and pleaded with him to stop, that he’d cooperate, and he didn’t have to do it like this. The scream that ripped from Aaron was muffled by the mattress, but it sounded like someone was trying to kill him as Brandon forced himself inside of Aaron. It had been a few days since they’d had sex so Aaron was tight, making it worse so. He forced his way into Aaron, ignoring the crying scream as he took what he wanted. Then the pain worsened, but Brandon moved easier inside Aaron as hot liquid made the movements easier. It trickled down the inside of Aaron’s thighs as the pain turned into a burning heat, and Aaron knew what it was. Blood. Brandon had torn him open. “STOP!” Aaron screamed in a voice he didn't even know he could produce. 

Then he wasn't there anymore. He was a little boy, age eight, his father was holding him down in the same manner and doing things a father should never do to their child. 

Then he was back and Brandon was still on top of him. Aaron quit thrashing, screaming, just laid there and took it. All the fight inside of him gone. It seemed to take forever, but finally Brandon groaned in his ear as if satisfied and pulled out, and the weight on Aaron's body was gone. He couldn't move, couldn't breathe, couldn't think past the horror of what had just happened to him. “I'll sleep in the guest room. Clean yourself up.” 

Aaron didn't even register Brandon's voice, and the only sign he was still alive was the flinch he gave off as the bedroom door shut behind Brandon.

****

When Aaron had woken the next morning - being pulled out of a nightmare as faces of Brandon and Gordon interchanged in his dreams - Brandon was already gone, having left for work. Aaron stood naked in front of the mirror, trying to ignore the pain in his butt and lower backside. He didn't know how bad Brandon had tore him open, was too afraid to find out. He couldn't use the toilet for fear of infection and wondered if he should go to hospital. He knows they'll ask questions, will know exactly what's happened to him without having to ask because of the bruises that so obviously looked as if he'd been sexually abused. As he stared in the mirror, looking at his reflection, he began to hate what he saw. He's always hated looking into a mirror because they don't lie to you. It's all laid bare for you to see, and Aaron hated what he saw. He was disgusted with himself for letting Brandon do that. He wasn't a child anymore, he should've been able to stop it, but hadn't. 

The razor against his unscarred chest felt good, made it stop for a moment as the pain cleared his head. One cut, two, three, four, and a fifth one decorated his skin. Trails of ruby red dribbled down his chest and as watched it in the mirror he thought, _You deserve this!_

****

Aaron. Called his mum midday, hoping he could keep calm while he spoke with her. “Hiya love,” was her answering greeting. “For a moment I thought you might have forgotten you have a mum. When are you coming to see me?” 

“Can I m-move back home, mum?” Aaron asked, hating the way his voice broke in the middle. 

“Why? What's happened? Are you and Brandon fighting?” He didn't know what to tell her. Aaron had assumed she would have immediately said yes, no questions asked. 

“Yes,” he said, not wanting to give out any details. He couldn't tell her what Brandon's been doing to him out of shame. How could he tell that he let Brandon do those things to him, and didn't even try and stop him. He's never told her about Gordon and now he can't even tell her about Brandon. 

“Listen love, I would love for you to come home, but you're married now. Married couples fight, and you can't call it quits because of a little tiff. You've got stay and work it out. You can't just throw away your marriage over nothing.” Listening to her words made Aaron feel more lonely than ever. He couldn't tell her the truth and she wouldn't ever be able to understand unless he did. He would have to admit everything, even his self harming. 

“You're right. I'm being stupid. I have to go,” and he hung up before she could say goodbye. All he could picture in his mind was just how upset and disappointed she'd be with him if she knew the truth. 

****

Aaron was sat on the sofa when Brandon returned home, he had his suitcase sitting as his feet. He didn't have to go home if he left Brandon, he could go anywhere. He would have stay with mates until he found a job seeing as he had no money, but he would do whatever it took as long as he got away from Brandon. “Hi baby,” Brandon said cheerfully as he walked into living room, leaning over the back of the sofa to kiss Aaron's cheek. He flinched when his lips touched him, but Brandon didn't seem to notice, nor did he notice the suitcase. “I'm starving. How about we go out tonight?” 

Aaron didn't say anything, just kept his eyes down cast and went over his speech in his head again. _Brandon, this isn't working out. When I married you I thought we'd have a perfect life, but these past few months have been nothing but imperfect. I want a divorce._

“Aaron? Aaron are you listening to me?” Aaron jumped liked he'd been shocked as Brandon's hand landed on his shoulder. “What is with you?” 

“I want a divorce!” It wasn't how Aaron had planned it out in his head, but it got his point across. 

“What do you mean you want a divorce?” Brandon asked, walking around the sofa. He took notice of the bag and Aaron's mind reeled at the look of fear on his face. _How can he be so terrified of losing me? He doesn't even seem to love me._

“Aaron what's happened?” Brandon sat on the sofa next to him and reached for Aaron's hands, and he immediately recoiled away from Brandon. “What have I done?” _Why are there tears in his eyes?_ “Baby, talk to me?” 

“What you did last night. How could you? After everything you know I've been through. The way you forced me-” Aaron broke off, a sob wrenching free from his throat. 

Brandon sighed and shook his head. “Aaron you're confused. Last night was just sex. Yes it might've been a bit rough which I apologize for, but you're my husband. I wanted sex and we had it. As my husband you can't deny me sex.” 

“That wasn't sex. You know what that was, what you did to me. You ripped me open! I can't be with you. I want a divorce.” 

“Aaron what happened last night was normal. It wasn't like what your father did to you. You're an adult now and if you really wanted to stop it then you would have. You're not helpless.” _Why is tone so calm and understanding? Why is that making sense to me? It had been the same as when I was a child, but he is right. I could've have stopped it, but didn't._ “Aaron I love you more than anything, and if you leave me I won't be able to handle it and I'll end up doing something we'll both regret. Remember that.” His tone was still so calm, but Aaron could hear the threat underneath his words. “Now then, if you're done having your freakout over nothing, why don't you go upstairs, unpack, get cleaned up, and I'll take you to dinner?” He kissed Aaron's cheek and got up off the sofa. “I'll be in my office, let me know when you're ready.” 

Aaron sat there for a minute or two, staring at his suitcase. He could get up, run out the door, and never look back. Threat or no threat. Instead he picked up his bag and went upstairs, and knew as soon as he put his empty suitcase away again that Brandon had finally broken him. He wept silently as he got dressed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter of just Brandon and Aaron, next chapter I will be bringing in Robert.
> 
> Also I don't want anyone to think that what Brandon did I consider sex just because I didn't use the word rape in this chapter. It was so very obvious that Brandon raped Aaron, but in Aaron's denial and manipulattion by Brandon he never uses that word until Robert points it out to him that that's exactly what Brandon is doing to him.


	5. A "Good" Week

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Introducing Robert!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't expecting to update this again so soon, but I was inspired to keep writing, especially after the last chapter of this.

Aaron and Brandon are having what Aaron likes to call a “good” week. There's been no outbursts, no abuse, not nothing except a normal marriage between them. It's been two years and in those two years Aaron has cut ties with all of his family and his mates, all that's left is Brandon. He also knows he's not the only one. Brandon has affairs on the side, throwing them up in Aaron's face when they fight, but oddly enough Aaron is always the one accused of cheating even though he's never so much as looked at another man. He's not allowed to talk to other men, no longer has a cellphone as Brandon destroyed it in a fight, and Brandon practically keeps him on a leash at all times. Gives him an allowance and monitors what he buys and keeps track of it through charges Aaron makes with Brandon's bank card. God forbid Aaron asks what Brandon spends his money on. 

Since it's a “good” week, Aaron feels himself relaxing in Brandon's presence. He doesn't let himself completely relax knowing if he made a wrong move in any direction that he could set his husband off and end up in hospital again. He can't even remember how much medical bills he's racked up in the past two years, but it's high. First time had been for a fractured skull where Brandon had smashed his head against the bathroom floor three times. Second had been for a broken arm when Brandon threw him down the stairs. The third time had been for sepsis for cutting too deep on the inside of his thigh and letting it get infected. Aaron at the time wished Brandon would have left him on the floor to die when he'd found him passed out in their bedroom. And the fourth time had been for three cracked ribs that had to be wrapped. Each time the hospital asks what happened and each time Aaron lies and says it was an accident and he's very clumsy or he got drunk and into a bar fight. He's sure they don't believe him, but they can't do anything unless Aaron tells the truth. 

They're currently in bed together, Brandon having rolled over that morning and waking up Aaron with kisses. They're taking their time with each other even though Brandon was supposed to have left for work fifteen minutes ago. The sounds coming from both of them make Aaron's skin crawl, hates how Brandon touches him, hates how their sweat slicked skin moves together, hates how Brandon whispers in his ear how much he loves him. And while Aaron's hates everything about it he loves it as well, because no matter how hard he tries he can't stop a small part of himself from loving Brandon. So he holds him close, touches every part of him he can, and whispers back that he loves Brandon too. 

When they're spent and panting does Brandon check the time. “Shit! I've got to go.” He leant over and kissed Aaron's cheek before rolling out of bed. Aaron watches him walk around, enjoying the sight of his body. Brandon looks good for thirty-seven. A pang of jealousy stabbed at Aaron's heart. He wished his body was smooth and scarred free so he could be confident in his looks. “Join me for lunch today?” Brandon makes it a request, but Aaron knows he doesn't really have a choice. 

“Or you know we can just,” and Aaron grabs Brandon by his tie, pulling him down for a kiss. Cupping the back of his neck so he can't move away, and Aaron licks into his mouth. Brandon moans but breaks the kiss and pulls away anyway. 

“I know what you're trying to do,” Brandon glares playfully at him and cups the side of his face. “But it's not going to work. I have to get to the office. We're bringing in a new partner and I get the delight of showing the new guy what's got to be done.” 

“Or you could just say fuck it and stay in bed with me,” he pulls Brandon back down and kisses him passionately again, goosebumps rising on his arms at the sound Brandon makes low in his throat. 

“Aaron,” Brandon warns, the sound of his name muffled by their lips. Aaron sneaks his hand down to Brandon's groin and starts palming his dick through his trousers. “Fuck,” he lets out, making Aaron smile. But he grabs his hand to stop him causing the grin to slide right off Aaron's face into pout. 

“How about instead of lunch I book us a room at hotel for the afternoon?” Aaron's grin returned and he nodded his head. “Good, see you this afternoon. I love you.” 

“I love you too,” he says automatically as if it's his default setting. Aaron lies there for a while, thinking about falling back asleep but knows he has a bit of housework to do today. He's gotten to where he can do the most minimal of cleaning and Brandon doesn't even notice as long as he takes care of it when he begins to think Brandon will start noticing. He gets up and goes into the bathroom, steadily avoiding looking into the mirror at his body. 

He turns on the shower and climbs underneath the stream, the water hot enough to feel like it might boil his skin off. He scrubs down until he feels new. 

****

Aaron has an hour before going to meet Brandon at his law firm. He's currently elbow deep in cleaner and a toilet bowl when he hears the quiet ring of the landline downstairs. He pulls the rubber gloves off that he's wearing and runs downstairs to answer it before the person can hang up. “Hello,” he pants into the speaker.

“Hey baby,” Brandon's smooth voice come out of the receiver right into Aaron's ear. 

“Don't tell me you're cancelling on me?” Aaron accuses. 

“Of course not. I need you to do me a favour. I left an important file on my desk in my office. It should say Middleton on it. Will you get it and bring it to me?” 

“Sure. Do you need it now or want me to bring it in an hour?” 

“Now,” Brandon said. 

“Okay. I'm on my way. Bye.” Aaron hangs up after Brandon says goodbye and goes to his office to get the file. Aaron doesn’t feel comfortable in Brandon’s office, seeing as that’s the one place Brandon has made off limits, but that was the only reason for uncomfortability. This room held no bad memories, unlike their bedroom, the kitchen, living room, and the bathroom. He found the file on his desk, underneath sat a piece a paper that got Aaron curious. It was a phone number, with a mans name written in the corner, and a heart at the bottom. Jealousy instantly pierced Aaron and he crumbled up the paper, shoving it into his pocket. 

**** 

Brandon’s office was across town and traffic was murder today. It took him nearly thirty minutes to get there and when he went in, Sarah - Brandon’s receptionist - smiled warmly at him. He smiled back and went straight for Brandon’s office, not bothering to knock before he went in. Brandon wasn’t there but a man sat in his desk chair, looking at papers on Brandon’s desk. 

“Can I help you?” Aaron said to gain his attention. The man looked up and Aaron suddenly felt the air in room change. The man behind the desk was gorgeous. Blond hair, cut short and swooping up in the front, blue-green eyes that sparkled on their own accord, strong jawline, full pink lips. 

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that question?” The man asked and smiled at Aaron to show a perfect set of white teeth. “Barging into this office like you own it and what not.” Aaron wondered if angels were singing when the man opened his mouth, and then blushed at thinking something so cheesy. 

“Uh,” Aaron was flustered, trying to remember why exactly he was in this office. “Uh this is...er,” the man smirked it sent Aaron’s heart a flutter. _What the fuck is happening to me. Think Aaron think!_ “Um this is my husbands office. Now want to tell me why you’re here?” 

“Oh,” the man said and nodded, standing up and holding out his hand for Aaron to take. Aaron couldn’t ignore the massive size of Robert’s hands, and then he blushed again when he thought about how men who have big hands tend to have other big things. “You must be Aaron. I’m Robert Sugden, new Junior Partner.” 

“Right,” Aaron said and took hold of Robert’s, doing his damndest to ignore the way his heart broke out into the rumba from the contact. His hand easily enveloped Aaron’s and the warmth was amazing. Aaron cleared his throat and let go quickly, blushing even more as he realized he’d held on for an uncomfortable amount of time for a normal handshake. “Where is Brandon?” 

“He was late for a meeting. Actually I think you have the exact thing in your hand that made him late,” Aaron looked down at the forgotten file, praying Brandon wasn’t upset. It’s not like he could control traffic. “I’ll take it to him now, he’s in the conference room.” Aaron handed him the file and watched him walk out of the office. 

As soon as the door shut, Aaron smacked himself in the forehead and muttered “idiot” under his breath. He’s not sure why Robert had that effect on him but it was hard to ignore the way his heart was still pounding and his sweaty palms. It didn’t take long for Robert to return and Aaron jumped as the door opened. 

“Brandon asked me to ask you to stick around so you can go for lunch, which he has so obligingly invited me to.” Aaron almost fell over with shock until he realized Brandon must mean a literal lunch and not the afternoon delight they’d planned this morning. “He shouldn’t be long.” 

Aaron nodded and awkwardly looked around the room. “What do you do, Aaron?” Aaron looked at him as if Robert hadn’t just asked him a direct question, but to a different Aaron in the room. He pointed at himself and Robert smirked again and then nodded. 

Aaron cleared his throat, suddenly feeling embarrassed. Robert seems like the type to take his job very seriously, all suits and business meetings, like Brandon. He didn’t want to admit that he doesn’t have a job. “Well I used to be a mechanic but when I married Brandon we moved to Hotten and I haven’t worked since then.” 

“Ah, a house husband,” Aaron scoffed at this, clearly offended. 

“What did you just call me?” Aaron demanded from him. Robert sputtered for a second at the hostility in Aaron’s voice. “You don’t know me, so don’t judge me. I don’t like being at home all the time but it’s not like I have a choice.” Aaron cringed internally at his choice of words. 

“Don’t have a choice? What do you mean?” Robert asked the exact thing Aaron didn’t want him to. 

“Nothing,” Aaron grumbled. “Forget I said anything.” 

“Okay…” The silence seemed to stretch, and neither of them spoke until the door opened and in walked Brandon. He smiled at Aaron and kissed him on the mouth in greeting. 

“Thanks for bringing that file. Even if you did take forever,” Aaron frowned more than smiled at Brandon’s half assed praise, that sounded more like a complaint towards Aaron’s ability to follow one simple request than it was to thank him for coming across town at last minute to bring some stupid file Brandon had forgotten. “Lunch?” 

“Yeah,” Aaron said. 

“I’ve invited Robert. I hope you don’t mind,” _not like I have much of a choice_. “There’s a great pub up the street.” Aaron watched Robert out of the corner of his eyes as he grabbed his jacket from the back of the desk chair and swung it on. 

It was silent most of the ride, Robert and Brandon doing most of the talking as Aaron sat in the back of Brandon’s car. He was still trying to figure out how he ended up sitting in the back. Robert had tried to be a gentleman and get in the backseat, but Brandon had told him to sit up front and that Aaron didn’t mind the back. Although Aaron did. 

It was lunch time and this pub seemed to be quite popular and they had to wait a little while to get a table. Once seated and ordered did Brandon strike up conversation. “You know Robert, Aaron is from Emmerdale as well.” Aaron looked up at Robert, who was mildly surprised. 

“Really? I don’t remember you,” Robert said. _Sugden_. 

“You must be Andy and Victoria’s brother. I should’ve known, not many Sugden’s around here, and you look like Vic.” Robert smiled at that. “I don’t remember her mentioning you.” 

“I haven’t exactly been the best big brother. I hadn’t seen her in twelve years, it’s only recently I’ve returned home.” Robert speaks as if he’s ashamed by this and Aaron has the urge to reach across the table to take his hand, but he knows better. Especially with Brandon there. “But that’s all going to change. I’m living with her while I look for a place in town, which is hopefully going to be soon now that she’s married. It’s not nice of me to cramp the newlyweds style.” 

“Vic got married?” Aaron said with some surprise. “Who’s the lucky bloke?” 

“Adam Barton,” it was like someone had stolen all of the air from Aaron’s lungs. He still didn’t miss the way Brandon went tense at Adam’s name. Robert seemed oblivious. “Nice bloke, but I never pictured Vic with someone like him.” 

“What’s wrong with Adam?” Aaron asked defensively. He was trying not to drown in the sadness of missing his best friends wedding day, not being there to be his best man. At that moment he really hated Brandon. 

“Nothing. I always thought she’d never marry beneath her.” Aaron slammed his fist down on the table, having half a mind to pick up his water glass and throw it in Robert’s face. He also didn’t miss the condescending snort Brandon made at Robert’s words. 

“Adam is my best mate! As far as I’m concerned maybe he married beneath him. Your sister is lucky to find someone with such a big heart to love.” Robert’s eyes widened and held up his hand in surrender, but it was Brandon who spoke. 

“That was very rude, Aaron. You should apologize to Robert.” Aaron looked at Brandon in disbelief and outrage, getting ready to protest until he saw the angry look in Brandon’s eyes. 

“I’m sorry,” he said through clenched teeth. 

“It’s alright. I should be the one apologizing,” Robert said, “I insulted your mate.” It drifted off into an awkward silence until Brandon struck up a conversation with Robert about the kind of work he did when he was living in Manchester. 

Aaron sat there feeling sorry for himself. He can’t believe he wasn’t there for Adam’s wedding, he didn’t even know him and Victoria had started dating. He wonders what else he’s missed out on. Aaron lifted his head suddenly, “Excuse me,” he broke into their conversation, getting up and heading in the direction of the bathroom. Once inside he covered his face with his hands and let out a sob. He wasn’t in there long, but it was long enough for tears to stain his face, when Robert walked in. Aaron jumped and started wiping at his face quickly. 

“Aaron,” Robert said tentatively, taking a step towards Aaron. “I’m really sorry I upset you like that. Sometimes I say things without thinking.” 

“It’s not you,” Aaron choked out. “It’s me. I didn’t even know he was married. I wasn’t even there for him.” 

“Why not?” Aaron went tense and finished wiping away his tears. 

“Nevermind,” he mumbled. “Just forget I said anything. Please don’t mention this to Brandon?.” Aaron pushed past Robert and walked back out into the front of the pub, hoping that his face looked okay and not like he’d been crying in the bog. Aaron smiled as he returned to the table, leaning over to kiss Brandon’s temple. He took his seat, and flinched at the livid anger on Brandon’s face. So much for it being a “good” week.


	6. Useless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't updated this in so long. It's a hard story to write and I don't want to make it unrealistic and soapish so it takes time.

Aaron wouldn't see Robert again for another two weeks, thankfully because the bruise around his left eye had finally healed and he was able to leave the house again to do some shopping. Brandon had gotten to where he was careful about the bruises he'd leave on Aaron's body, rarely hitting him in the face. But that night he had returned home from work - that same day they'd had lunch with Robert - Brandon had come home angry and Aaron was angry as well. The fight exploded as soon as Aaron mentioned Adam being married, and feeling guilty for not having been there. It went on forever, Aaron himself pushing him when pulled the phone number he'd found on Brandon's desk in his home office. Once he accused Brandon of cheating - which he so obviously was - did Brandon finally lash out and punch him in the face. 

Aaron hadn't expected to see Robert again unless he happened to run into him if he stopped by Brandon's work, but fate would have it that Robert would be doing his shopping the same day as Aaron. Aaron was in the produce section, picking out a head of cabbage when someone tapped him on the shoulder. He jumped slightly and dropped the cabbage, getting ready to turn around and shout at the person for sneaking up on him, but stopped when he came face to face with Robert. 

“Oh, hi,” Aaron. Said awkwardly, feeling his face redden as he swiftly bent down to pick up the dropped cabbage. “What are you doing here?” 

“This is where I get my suits tailored,” Robert said so seriously that all Aaron could do was stare at him. “Joking, of course. Just doing my shopping.” 

“Right. Yeah. 'Course. Stupid question Aaron,” Aaron grumbled and looked away, hating how awkward he felt. He never did this. Chatting with a stranger, even though Robert wasn't that strange, Aaron just felt out of sorts. When Aaron was in public with Brandon he wasn't even allowed to look at other men, not even a glance in a direction of one for fear of consequences. But Aaron had to admit there was a connection with Robert. They come from the same place. Home. Robert was his link home. He knew Aaron's friends and family, if he pokes and prods in the right way without sounding suspicious then maybe he could get Robert to talk about his family; give Aaron details of home that he craved, but was too ashamed to go home and find out for himself. 

“Anyway,” Robert said in a way that told Aaron he felt just as awkward as him. Great, Aaron thought angrily, _I'm making him uncomfortable_. “I saw you and wanted to come over and apologize again for my behavior at lunch a few weeks ago. It was inappropriate of me to insult your mate. So, I'm sorry.” 

“Thanks, but it's not your fault. Well kind of for insulting him, but I was wound up when I found out he got married and I missed it.” The sadness in Aaron's voice was obvious and Robert's eyes went all soft as he looked directly into Aaron's blue orbs. _Definitely awkward_. Aaron cleared his throat and looked away. “How are they? Vic and Adam.” 

“Good,” Robert said quickly and loudly, breaking whatever spell was between them. “Vic's happy and Adam seems to be also. I know he hates me living there but he puts up with me 'cause of Vic.” 

“What's he doing now?” Robert quirks head to the side slightly. 

“Thought you said he's your best mate and yet you don't know anything about his life?” That hurt. Aaron kept his face composed but it felt like he was crumbling on the inside, organs caving in, heart fracturing. Aaron was surprised his heart was whole enough to still feel like this. 

“Life happened,” Aaron sighed and looked away, as if seeing into the past through the stand of tomatoes. “We went different ways with our lives and grew apart.” 

“I get that,” Robert said like he understood. _There's no way he can understand_ , Aaron thought bitterly. No one can. 

“Adam owns his own scrapyard,” Aaron looked up at that, knowing the sadness was clear as day on his face. “He co-owns it with his cousin or brother or whatever. Pete Barton. A little over a year now. He's doing very well for himself. Vic started her own business, a food truck and does a lot of catering as well. And about their wedding, you didn't miss much, they eloped.” 

“Why?” Aaron asked, not believing Adam would pass up the opportunity to have his own wedding, same with Vic, and there was no way in hell Moira would miss her baby boy getting married. 

“It was before I came home. Vic had called me in a state while I was living in London, there'd been an accident and she was looking for a solicitor. She didn't have the money to pay one so she called me. I returned home right after they were married just in time for her court date.” 

“What accident?” Aaron asked, knowing it had to have been something bad if Vic had gotten in trouble for it. 

“Adam had cheated on her,” Robert said it with disgust in his voice. Aaron shook his head like he doubted what Robert told him. “He did. He told me himself. They were fighting and Vic got into the car and wasn't paying attention and ended up hitting Ashley Thomas with her car.” 

“Is he okay?” 

“Yes. He made a full recovery, but Vic turned herself in and had to go to court. After that I decided to stay in Emmerdale.” 

“You just picked up your life and moved from London?” Aaron asked skeptically. 

“My life in London wasn't the best. I'd just finished going through a messy divorce and needed a fresh start. Victoria couldn't have called at a better time.” 

“Oh,” Aaron said feeling awkward again. “What happened?” He asked before he could stop himself. Robert raised an eyebrow at the intrusive question and Aaron blushed and looked away. “Sorry. It's none of my business.” 

“It's okay. It was my fault. I was having an affair and she caught me.” Aaron's eyes widened and he looked away, hating how empty Robert's words sounded. Like his marriage never even mattered to him.

“How long were you married?” Aaron asked without looking back at Robert. 

“Four years,” Aaron scoffed and turned to glare up at Robert. 

“Four years and you threw it all away? What a class act you are, mate.” Aaron didn't wait around for response, he stormed off over to the meat section. It was Friday and Brandon had asked Aaron to make fish - his choice as long as it wasn't salmon. 

“I’m not proud of what I did,” Robert said from behind him as Aaron steadily ignored him. “We both knew when I married her it was for money. Her family was very wealthy and that’s what attracted me to her. I did love her in a way, but I wanted more.” 

“Wow,” Aaron said and turned around to glare at him. “Well I hope whoever she was, was worth throwing away your marriage. You wanted more you should have done the right thing and let your wife go instead of cheating on her with any old slapper.” 

“He.” Robert said simply. 

“Excuse me?” 

“He. I had an affair with a man. My wife didn't know of my preferences and she caught me in bed with him. Our bed to be exact.” Aaron turned so he was facing Robert, looking at him differently for the first time since he met him. It was almost as if he was sizing Robert up. “I enjoy sex with men but she didn't need to know that. I loved her, but I wanted more than she could offer.” 

“Don't have sex with my husband,” Aaron said before he could stop himself. He blushed instantly and wanted to run away at the shocked look he gained from Robert. Aaron forced the embarrassment away, instead focussing on the fact that Robert is gay or bisexual or whatever and threw his marriage away for sex with men. What would stop him from sleeping with Brandon. He had no trouble ruining his own marriage, why should he give a damn about Aaron's? 

“Aaron I have no interest in sleeping with Brandon,” Robert said, finally the silence between them becoming uncomfortable. “Why - why would you think that?” 

_Because he'll try it on with you_ , Aaron thinks bitterly. “Just promise me you won't. You may have ruined your marriage but that doesn't give you the right to come here and ruin other people's marriages!” 

“Look, I've ruined one marriage to last me a lifetime. I have zero interest in destroying yours. Besides, Brandon's not my type.” Aaron couldn't believe Robert had the nerve to run his eyes all over his body like he was trying to undress him right there in the shop. 

“Smart, handsome, successful men aren't your type?” Aaron questioned, trying his hardest not the fidget under Robert's heated gaze. 

“Not ones like your husband,” Robert said seriously. Aaron didn't know where to begin to decipher that. Did Robert know? Could he tell just from Brandon's personality what he's really like underneath that careful facade. Aaron hadn't and if that didn't leave a bitter taste in Aaron's mouth. “I like men who know what they want, and have passion and fire. Ones who have fight inside of them.” 

Aaron visibly deflated at Robert's words and he had to look away, biting down on the inside of his cheek to hold back a dry sob. Aaron knew he had absolutely no fight left in him. No matter what Robert thinks he sees, he's wrong. Aaron needed to get away as quickly as possible. “It was nice seeing you but I really have to go,” Aaron mumbled and left the food he'd already put into his shopping basket right there with the fish and walked away. 

“Aaron, wait!” Robert called after him but Aaron ignored him and kept going. He was almost to the exit when a hand clasped around his arm tightly and Aaron cried out, knees buckling but luckily he was able to keep from crashing to the floor. “Oh my god, are you okay? I didn't grab you that hard.” 

Robert had instantly let go but he moved as if to roll up the sleeve of Aaron's hoodie. “Don't touch me!” Aaron shrieked, eyes darting around the store to see that scream had gained many onlookers. “I don't know you so stay away from me,” Aaron growled out before fleeing the shop. 

Back in the car, Aaron pushed the sleeve of his hoodie up, hissing as the fabric bunched over the dark purple bruise on his forearm. It was from two days ago when Brandon has slammed it in the fridge door because apparently Aaron had been “ignoring” Brandon all morning and he needed to get Aaron's attention some way. Aaron was a pro at telling whether or not a bone was broken or fractured and luckily it was neither in this case but it hurt so fucking bad and now it throbbed even worse from where Robert had grabbed him. It wasn't Robert's fault, he knows that. It's only one person's fault and Aaron knows that it's his own. If he wasn't so fucking useless and pathetic than Brandon wouldn't hurt him and he wouldn't have had to cause a scene in the shop and embarrass Robert as well. He must hate Aaron now. He can't even have a normal fucking conversation with someone without running away like weirdo. 

He blinks back the tears because they never do him any good and rolls back down his sleeve to cover the bruise. Robert hadn't followed Aaron out of the shop which was good but made Aaron feel hollow inside. _Why would he come after you? You're nothing but a pathetic waste. Everyone knows it, even you're own husband._ Aaron sighs heavily, believing every word his subconscious manifests.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No beta, all mistakes are my own.


	7. Robert

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was shorter than I expected but I've got the next chapter ready and already edited and am starting on nine.

Robert walked into Keeper's Cottage, arms ladened down with cloth tote bags full of food. “Rob?” Vic called out from the kitchen. She met him halfway to take some of the bags, setting them on the countertop and began taking things out of them. “Thanks for this. You're always in town working and they have better prices and a better selection than at David's.”

“Sure,” Robert agreed. His mind was on Aaron and how weird their interactions had been. He claims to be mates with Adam but doesn't know much about his life right now and no one in this village has mentioned him. And then there had been the way he reacted about Robert cheating and warning him to not try it on with Brandon. He never would, Brandon is… Robert's not sure how to describe him but he's never gotten a good vibe from the man. Then when Aaron had ran away, Robert had felt bad for upsetting him again and chased him down. When he'd grabbed Aaron's arm he'd cried out in pain and Robert knows he'd barely gripped his arm. It was all very strange. 

“Vic?” Robert began and his sister made a noise to let him know she was listening as she put the perishables in the fridge. “Do you know an Aaron Houser?” 

“Houser? Er no I don't think so.”

“Huh? Are you sure because he used to live in the village. Houser is his husband's last name.” Vic’s eyes went wide and blew out a long breath. 

“You’re talking about Aaron Livesy? Chas’ son?” 

“He’s a Dingle,” Robert said more to himself than to Vic. “Shouldn’t be surprised he had the attitude of one.” 

“How do you know him?” Vic asks suspiciously. “He’s a married man, Robert.” 

“I know that, Vic. I met Aaron through his husband who just so happens to be my boss. Brandon Houser. Aaron said that him and Adam are best mates.” Vic snorted, face twisting into something ugly. 

“Best mates my arse,” she hissed. “Hasn’t spoken to Adam in nearly two years, and not just Adam but his whole family as well. Listen,” she said, voice serious and eyes hard, “do not mention him to Adam, it just upsets him and then he gets angry and never mention Aaron around Chas unless you want see her cry buckets.” 

“I don’t understand,” Robert said. “Explain.” 

“Okay but if Adam shows up we change subjects right away,” Vic made him promise before she launched into her story. “Cuppa first?” 

“Yeah,” Robert agreed and moved over to the small table as she filled the kettle with water and set it on the stove before joining him. “Have you had sex with Aaron?” 

“No. He’s married,” Robert points out. Vic just stares at him until Robert rolls his eyes and glares at her. “I haven’t had sex with Aaron. Not that it would be any of your business.” 

“Good,” Vic sighs out, relieved. “In all honesty you should keep away from Aaron. I know he seems like a good bloke but he’s really not. Aaron has a lot of issues.” 

Robert frowns and thinks back to both times he’d been in Aaron’s company. He hadn’t seemed like a bad bloke, in fact he seemed skittish and a little closed off. He’d taken offense easily to things Robert said but some people are like that and Robert can admit that his personality is an acquired taste at the best of times. Brandon on the other hand, now that was a shady bloke. Full of himself and on the outside he seems okay but Robert’s always been a good judge of character and honestly Brandon can make Robert’s hair stand on end sometimes with the way one minute he’ll be smiling and the next a coldness takes over his face that could freeze hell over. At first Robert had given him the benefit of the doubt and assumed it was his “work” face, a way to close himself off so he didn’t get too involved with his clients problems. Robert could understand that, but when they’d been at lunch and Aaron had reacted to Robert insulting Adam, Brandon had turned that coldness on Aaron. 

“Issues?” Robert prods. The kettle goes off and Vic gets the tea ready, bringing two cups back to the table and sitting down. 

“Yeah. I mean Aaron’s always been a bit off. Angry and sullen, but you could always see that underneath all of that he had a good heart. When he first moved to the village me and him hit it off pretty well, I even took his virginity.” Vic smirked as Robert choked on tea. “Then he met Adam and they got close, and one night Aaron tried to kiss Adam on the way back from a pub. Adam didn’t handle it well and told the whole village Aaron was gay. It got bad for Aaron, he didn’t want to be gay and he tried to commit suicide. He also beat up his first boyfriend Jackson and Paddy as well. He finally accepted who he was after a long battle with it but things got better, only to get worse. I won’t bore you with those details. Long story short he ended up leaving the village for a few years to France with his boyfriend at the time, Ed. 

“He came back and did some jail time for arson, which you already know was Adam since I’ve told you about that. Aaron got out on license and that’s when he met Brandon. I remember what a smitten-kitten Aaron was after meeting Brandon and when I met him the first time I thought he was nice bloke, good for Aaron. When they moved away, Chas missed Aaron a lot and so did Adam. He stopped coming around the village, even though Chas begged him to come see her and Adam would try and get in touch all the time with no luck.” Vic went silent all of a sudden, looking down into her cup as if she could see what she was telling Robert with in it. She sighed heavily before looking back up. “One night, about a year and a half ago, Brandon showed up in the village, beaten and bloody, scared out of his mind saying Aaron had lost control and beat the hell out of him. Brandon has no other family so he came to Chas since she’s Aaron’s mother. Brandon told her that Aaron gets angry a lot and lashes out, taking his anger out on Brandon. Said that Aaron cheats a lot and that… that he contracted HIV from one of the many affairs he had. When Brandon confronted Aaron about it, Aaron lost it and beat Brandon up.” 

“And you believe that? Everyone believed it?” 

“I wasn’t there, but Adam was and he said Brandon was really upset and shaken over it. They tried to get Brandon to stay the night, call Aaron and have him come over in the morning, but Brandon said that Aaron would be more upset if he didn’t come home. They made sure to have Brandon promise to have Aaron call them the next day.” 

“Did he?” Robert asked, ignoring the cooling tea in front of him. 

“He did. Chas is the one who talked to him. She told him he needed to come home or to get help for his anger. She said that Brandon didn’t deserve to be treated the way Aaron was treating him. Chas asked him about the HIV and she said that’s when Aaron lost it. Started screaming at her about what a bad mother she had been, how he’s glad she’s no longer in his life and that he’s done with her and everyone in the village. He said he never wanted to see or hear from her again and ended the call. Chas tried calling him everyday until she realized he’d had his number changed. They know he lives somewhere in Hotten, they’re just not sure where, but they never went after him. I think Chas was too hurt to go after him.” 

“What about Brandon, does he keep in touch with Chas?” 

“I don’t think Aaron will let him,” Vic said sadly. “I always knew Aaron had anger issues and he’s beaten up a boyfriend in the past. I just hope he’s gotten help and that Brandon’s safe with him.” 

“That’s the biggest load of crap I’ve ever heard,” Robert sneered. “There is no way the man I met is anything like that. I mean I don’t even know him but I didn’t get an abusive vibe from Aaron.” 

“I guess he’s good at hiding it. I wasn’t there the night Brandon showed up, but Adam and Chas said he was really scared of Aaron. It left no room for doubt that Aaron was abusing him.” 

Robert huffed and leant back in his chair, running a hand through his hair. He just couldn’t believe it. The way Aaron had begged him not to sleep with Brandon, in a way that could be considered controlling but it sounded more like man who’s been pushed to the limit by being cheated on instead of being a cheater, same with how defensive he got over the fact that Robert was the cheater in his marriage. Aaron had practically yelled at Robert in the middle of the store when Robert confessed. Then there was the way Brandon had demanded Aaron apologise for shouting at Robert over lunch even though Robert had been the one in the wrong. Brandon’s attitude had been the more controlling one. Then the strangest of all had been Robert grabbing Aaron in the shop and having Aaron cry out as if in pain. Now that could be for many reasons, he could have hurt himself or maybe Robert had been more forceful than he thought and it had scared Aaron away, but something tells Robert there’s more to it than he sees or anyone else sees for that matter. 

“You’re best bet it to just leave it, Rob. Aaron isn’t someone you want to tangle with. Do your job, work with Brandon, but let that be the extent of your interactions with them. And remember what I said, don’t mention Aaron to Chas or Adam.” 

Robert nodded but he really wasn’t listening. He knows it’s not his business and maybe he should heed Vic’s words, but there’s something about Aaron and Brandon he’s not picking up on. 

Later when he’s alone in bed he goes over everything Vic had told him, analyzing each part of the story. Brandon, something’s off about him. He’s a liar, he has to be and a good one because of his profession, Robert understands that because he’s one hell of a liar as well, but it’s more than that. Every solicitor is a bit manipulative, the way they can work over people who take the stand or the jury. Robert himself can manipulate the best of them when he needs to, so who’s to say Brandon isn’t better than Robert at manipulation. On top of all of that, Robert just downright doesn’t like Brandon and hasn’t since he met him and that could be affecting his judgement as well. 

Vic’s right, his best option is to put all of this out of his mind because Brandon’s and Aaron’s problems aren’t his and the last thing he needs it to get involved with them. Of course Robert’s never been one to keep out of things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter is probably confusing because of all the information Robert received but you'll learn more about it later as Robert and Aaron get closer.


	8. When It's Bad It's Horrible

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron has an accident and Brandon turns on him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: The tags should be heeded for this chapter. Depictions of emotional and physical abuse, rape, and suicidal thoughts. 
> 
> I was going to wait to post this but the comments from the last chapter encouraged me to go on ahead and post it. Btw you guys rock and I love the feedback. Thanks!

“AARON, OPEN THE GODDAMN DOOR!” Brandon screamed from outside the bathroom. Aaron had ran and locked himself in. Leaning against it as Brandon pounded his fists against the hardwood as he continued to scream. Aaron leant over the sink, heaving dry sobs as his anxiety rose. He spit into the sink and what came out was bloody from where Brandon had punched him in the mouth for “being smart with him”. “AARON!” Aaron jumped as Brandon threw his whole weight against the door, rattling the hinges. 

This fight began after Aaron had returned home from the store. He was such a mess after what happened with Robert that he hadn’t been paying attention in the carpark and ended up backing Brandon’s Mercedes into another car. The tail light had busted and their was a noticeable dent in the bumped. Aaron had had a panic attack right there in the carpark after seeing it. Maybe if he had called Brandon right then and there to let him know what happened he wouldn’t have been so angry. 

Instead, Aaron had panicked and decided to try and keep it from Brandon, hiding the car in the garage with a tarp over it, hoping he could have it fixed before Brandon wanted to drive it again. Ever since Brandon had bought his new Lexus he hadn’t been interested in driving the Mercedes. Aaron should’ve known better. Brandon had come home and asked why the Mercedes wasn’t parked in the driveway so he could put the Lexus in the garage. Aaron had said he hadn’t thought about it and said he’d move it for him, but Brandon had grabbed the keys before Aaron could and said he’d take care of it. 

Aaron was shaking before he even heard Brandon storm back in. He should’ve hid before Brandon even walked out of the house. Brandon came in screaming about the car and before Aaron could even explain he punched Aaron in the mouth hard enough to land Aaron on the floor as his mouth pooled with blood. Brandon had reached down and grabbed Aaron by the top of his hair and slammed his head back against the kitchen counter doors. “What the fuck did you do to my car you piece of shit!?” 

“It was an accident. I swear,” Aaron cried out as Brandon’s hand tightened in his hair. “I was going to have it taken care of so you didn’t have to worry about it. I didn’t want to stress you out with it.” Aaron tried to push Brandon away only to have his head slammed into the wooden cabinets again.

“More like you fucked up like you always do and thought you could cover it up! That’s gonna cost an arm and a leg to fix at the body shop. Did you think I’m so stupid I wouldn’t have noticed that money going missing from my account.” Spit flew all over Aaron’s face, Brandon getting closer with each word. “You were going to steal from me to cover up your fuck up!” 

Aaron screamed as Brandon jerked him up by his hair, throwing him forward so he slammed into the fridge and he fell to the ground again where Brandon proceeded to kick him in the stomach. “Stop, please. I swear it was an accident, Bran.” 

“Fucking liar,” Brandon snarled and pulled Aaron up again by his arm, jerking hard enough for his shoulder to pop painfully. Brandon twisted the same arm around behind his back and he slammed Aaron face down over the island. Pain shot across the left side of his face and Aaron heard the distinct crunch of a bone cracking in his cheek. He wished he’d pass out. “You fuck up something of mine, I’m going to fuck you up for it.” Brandon hissed menacingly in his ear. Aaron jerked in his grasp, panic increasing as Brandon reached over him on the island to where the wooden knife block was sitting, grabbing one of the smaller knives out of it. 

“Bran, don’t! Please it was an accident. No. NO!” Aaron screamed as Brandon brought the knife close to his face, his body snapping and jerking, trying to loosen Brandon’s grip. 

“Hold still you stupid bitch,” Brandon hissed. Aaron felt Brandon’s stance shift and it left an opening and Aaron didn’t think, just lifted his foot and stomped down on Brandon’s. The knife slipped out of Brandon’s hand as he shouted in pain and let go of Aaron. 

Aaron turned around and shoved Brandon away and ran, heading for the bathroom on the first floor and hiding in it. Brandon was still pounding on the door, screaming. Aaron's cheek was swelling quickly, the lump already discolored. The adrenaline coursing through him was enough for him not to feel the pain yet, but he would once it wore off. 

The window in the bathroom was too small for him to crawl through to escape and suddenly Aaron felt claustrophobic. He’s like a trapped animal with nowhere to go, waiting to face his predator on the other side of that door. Aaron clutched as his chest, breaths coming out in choked off gasps, vision blurring and head spinning as the pounding got louder as Brandon began to slam his body repeatedly against the door. 

The scream Aaron let out was vicious enough it hurt his throat as the door suddenly burst open, Brandon swooping in like a rage filled wild animal. He shoved Aaron hard enough that he fell over and caught hold of the shower curtain, his hand tangling in it and he ripped it from the hooks as he fell into the tub on his back. Brandon was on him before Aaron could understand what happened. Aaron tried to protect his face as Brandon punched him, but instead he started punching Aaron in the stomach and chest. “Stop,” Aaron begged. 

“Fucking useless waste,” Brandon screamed as his fist hit Aaron in the throat where his chin meets his neck and felt it before he gagged and then proceeded to vomit all over himself. He’d never been so happy to get sick because that finally made Brandon quit. “Disgusting,” Brandon muttered. 

Aaron coughed and spluttered, sinking down into the tub as Brandon turned his back on him. “Clean yourself up, you’re disgusting.” Then he was gone and out the door leaving Aaron alone to curl up in the tub, filthy, suffering in agony and crying. 

***

Brandon had been gone when Aaron somehow found the strength to pull himself out of the tub, he was sure the smell of his vomit was a main factor. He stripped down right there and turned the water on so he could scrub himself down to get rid of the vomit. He took a longer shower upstairs in his and Brandon’s bathroom to get rid of the smell and dried blood. He was in so much pain he took two narcotic painkillers from his last visit to the hospital. There was only four left and he thought about taking all of them, four wasn’t enough to hurt him but he wanted to keep the other two for when this happened again and the sad thing is he knows it will. 

Brandon wasn’t home two hours later, the painkillers had kicked in and the pain had mostly gone away, they were pretty strong narcotics. He drank a beer along with them and then went back upstairs to bed, body barely reacting to his control. He looked in the mirror in the bathroom first and wished he hadn’t. He wouldn’t be leaving the house for a while. The left side of his face were covered in garish purple contusions, while other splotches of skin were darker more black than purple and they were outlined in an ugly greenish yellow. There were two dark bruises on his throat where Brandon’s knuckles had connected with the skin. He lifted up his shirt and immediately dropped it back down, not being able to look at the raised puffy purple skin that mirrored his face. Aaron was sure his cheekbone was fractured but they couldn't do anything at hospital for it anyway except more drugs. 

Aaron slowly climbed into the bed under the duvet, switching off the bedside lamp. He wasn’t in bed more than fifteen minutes when he heard Brandon stumbling up the stairs. There was a crash in the hallway that was all too familiar and he knows Brandon’s drunk. He turns to his side and shuts his eyes quickly, heartbeat turning to rapid palpitations in his chest as fear gripped him again. 

“Fuck,” Brandon cursed from outside the door as he stumbled into the wall. Seconds later the bedroom door flew open and slammed against the wall, Aaron controlled himself so he didn’t flinch. 

The sound of clothes rustling as Brandon stripped naked made Aaron break out into a cold sweat. _Please god no,_ Aaron thought desperately. _Let him pass out, please._

The bed quaked underneath Brandon’s weight and then hands were touching him, turning him over. “Bran, please; not tonight.” But Brandon wasn’t fully there. His eyes are bloodshot and glazed over and he looked more than a little half-crazed. “Bran, no.” Aaron tried to push his hands away but suddenly they were pinned to the bed over his head and Brandon was forcing his mouth against Aaron’s. Muffled sounds of pain were coming from Aaron as Brandon’s teeth smashed against his. Aaron struggled and screamed against Brandon’s mouth as fingernails dug in enough to break the skin at his wrists and hot drops of blood to flow from them. 

His wrists were let go for only a moment before they were both trapped above his head by only one of Brandon’s large hands. Brandon’s free hand started tugging at Aaron’s pyjama bottoms. “No,” Aaron yelled and Brandon bit down hard on his neck to shut him up. He got the cotton soft bottoms off and Aaron cringed, feeling like he might throw up all over himself again as Brandon’s erection presses against the inside of Aaron’s scarred thigh. Brandon grunted and thrust forward, grinding his hard cock against Aaron’s body. “Fuck,” Brandon gasps. 

Aaron knows this can end one of two ways, him on his front with Brandon being ruthless or him being able to coerce Brandon to keep doing it just like that and rubbing himself to completion against Aaron. “That’s it, Bran,” Aaron rasps out, hating himself for this. “Just like that. Come on, come for me.” 

Brandon moans and quickens his thrusts against Aaron’s skin, latching his mouth onto Aaron’s neck again. It goes on forever and Aaron starts to worry again. He’s had too much to drink and chances are it could go on all night before Brandon comes, and eventually he’ll get sick of this and want to change positions. “Let me go so I can help you, baby,” Aaron coerces. Brandon doesn’t seem to hear at first but suddenly Aaron’s arms are free and he moves down to grab his Brandon’s erection but Brandon slaps his hand away and he’s pulling his weight off of Aaron, grabbing his hips and flipping him onto his front. “No!” Aaron cries. “Not like this. Come on, Bran just let me help you.” Aaron keeps a stream of begging until Brandon clamps a hand over his mouth. 

Aaron screams against the hand, the sound muffled as Brandon spreads Aaron’s cheeks apart and Brandon’s cock brushes against Aaron’s unprepared hole. Aaron’s muffled yell of no turns into a painful scream as Brandon forces his way inside. “So tight,” is whispered in his ear and Aaron thrashes in between the bed and Brandon. 

The pain is worse than any bruise, cut or broken bone he’s received from Brandon. Brandon rips him open again, the blood hot and slick running down his thighs as the movement becomes easier but more painful. Brandon removes his hand, grabbing hold of his wrists to pin them against the bed as Brandon pistons in and out of him. “Good boy,” Brandon groans into Aaron’s ear but it doesn’t sound like Brandon. 

It’s sounds like Gordon as he held him down, grunting into his ear saying if he was a good boy it wouldn’t happen again. Aaron screamed and went limp, losing all his fight and sobbed brokenly as he subconscious flitted between the present and the past, getting confused between who was inside of him, his husband or his father. God, he wanted to die so fucking bad. 

“Shut the fuck up,” Aaron hadn’t even realised he was whispering “stop” over and over, until Brandon was forcing his face into the pillow, cutting off his airway. At first he let it happen as Brandon forced himself inside Aaron over and over again, that is until his chest started to burn and he began to panic and started flailing his body about again. Brandon blanketed his body over Aaron’s to keep him pinned as his hips kept pounding. Aaron’s vision started to gray out, the lack of oxygen to his brain making his head throb. Brandon’s hips stuttered and he shot his release inside Aaron, groaning in a way that would be horribly stamped inside Aaron’s mind forever. Brandon’s climax seemed to go on forever and Aaron was seconds away from suffocating before the pressure on the back of his head was released and he lifted his head to gasp in lungfuls of air. 

“Mmm,” Brandon hmm's in contentment as he rolled off of Aaron. Come leaked out of Aaron’s entrance filthily and Aaron shivered in disgust, wanting to get up and go clean himself until his skin was bleeding from harsh cleaning he would give it. Brandon burrows against Aaron’s side, throwing an arm and a leg over Aaron, holding him against the bed. “Night, baby.” 

_Die in your sleep,_ Aaron thinks darkly. Aaron lies there until he hears Brandon snoring. Brandon can sleep through a hurricane if given the chance, especially being drunk and having an orgasm just before sleeping. Aaron shoves his body off in disgust and somehow finds the strength to force himself out of bed, pull on his pyjama bottoms, and out of the room, down the hall to the guest bedroom and ensuite bathroom. 

It isn’t until he’s trying to grab hold of the razor underneath the sink that he’s hidden there that he notices how badly he’s shaking. His knees give out and he falls down against the tile and starts crying harshly. Sobs making his entire body convulse as he curls in on himself, bringing his knees up to his chest. He opens his eyes and sees the razor, reaching under the sink to grab it and presses it against the skin of his wrist. One quick drag up each wrist and it would all be over. He wonders if Brandon will cry when he finds him on the floor in a pool of his own blood. How would his mum react, Paddy or Adam? He justs wants it to end so fucking bad, he can’t see any other way out. Brandon has told him on other occasions that if he leaves he’ll find Aaron and kill him and then kill anyone he’s with. He knows Brandon means it too. 

This… this is the only way. _I like men who know what they want, and have passion and fire. Ones who have fight inside of them._ Aaron’s laugh is self deprecating. If only Robert could see how pathetic he is now. He’d probably laugh and encourage him to slit his wrists. 

_”Well that’s over dramatic,"_ Aaron stares ahead of him, ignoring the voice in his head that he’s only heard twice in his life. _"You’re not pathetic unless you give up and end yourself. You’re better than this.”_

“You don’t know me,” Aaron says to the empty room. “I just want it to end.” 

_”There are other ways to make it stop,_ the imaginary Robert tells him. _”You’re a fighter and you can make it stop. Put the razor away, Aaron."_

He stares at the silver steel, poking his thumb with an edge but not enough to break the skin. He throws it under the sink and shuts the cupboard doors and pulls himself up by the countertop. In the mirror standing behind him is an image of Robert, wearing the same clothes as he had when they met at the store today. It seems impossible that it had only been hours since he’d talked with Robert. He stares at Robert through the mirror before shaking his head. “I’m fucking crazy.” He closes his eyes and shakes his head before opening them and the image is gone, but somehow it helped and he knows he’ll survive this night and the next and maybe even the one after that. Maybe there is some fight still left in him but he's sure Brandon will take that from him as well soon enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it seems strange that Aaron's subconscious conjured Robert up when he was thinking about killing himself, but Aaron's been alone for two years with only Brandon, and Robert is the first person to actively pay attention to him, whilst Aaron doesn't understand this and considers himself to be "crazy" it still helps him in the end.


	9. Just A Little Comfort?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron has emotional whiplash because of Brandon's personality changes and also craves affection he's so often denied. Aaron takes offense to Robert's nosiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Aaron describes the rape scene from the last chapter as just sex. I want it made clear that I don't condone that because it was so obviously rape but Aaron has been conditioned by Brandon to just think of it as sex even though it triggers flashbacks from when Aaron had been raped as a child. Also a bit of self harm in this chapter.

Aaron had spaced out again, staring off into nothing. He wasn’t even thinking of anything, just shut down and let his mind go blank. Sometimes he’d do it for hours at a time when he was alone. He didn’t have much to do, taking care of the house and running around fulfilling Brandon’s orders only took up half the day and the rest was spent doing nothing. He really fucking hated it so he’d space out to make time seem to move faster. He found if he sat down without letting his mind go blank his mind conjured up things he didn’t want to think about and then he’d find himself upstairs, razor in hand and new cuts on his body. Spacing out was easier. Only this time he’d spaced out with Brandon home and talking to him. 

He doesn’t hear when Brandon calls his name three times and it isn’t until he’s walloped upside the head that he comes out of it. Pain shoots through the back of his head and down his spine. Brandon had hit the exact spot where he’d smashed Aaron’s head against the cupboards yesterday. Aaron hissed and grabbed softly at the back of his head. “Fuck, Brandon that hurt!” 

“Then pay attention,” he snapped. He has a hangover, Aaron could tell by the lack of breakfast and the Irish coffee this morning. 

“Sorry,” Aaron mumbled. He’s sure that sorry is the most common word he uses and half the time he’s not even sure what he’s sorry for. “What were you saying?” 

Brandon rolled his eyes, like it was a great tragedy that he had to repeat himself. “I said, I’m not going to be home for dinner tonight. There’s a stag-do for one of the partners and I have to go. I don’t know what time I’ll be home so don’t worry if I’m out late.” 

“How long have you known about this?” Aaron asks. 

“Few weeks,” Brandon said and sipped from his coffee. 

“You didn’t think to tell me sooner?” Aaron hates it when he does this, he never lets Aaron into his life the way he should or when they had been dating. 

“Because I only remembered this morning. It’s not that big of a deal. Did you have plans for us?” Aaron grinds his teeth, Brandon knowing damn well that he’s the only one who makes the plans in their relationship, never giving Aaron a say so. Instead of snapping - Aaron didn’t have the energy for it - he apologises instead. 

“No, ‘course not. Sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped.” Brandon nods, hearing exactly what he wanted from Aaron. “Who’s the stag-do for?” 

“Uh, James,” Brandon mumbles, his lips pressed against the rim of his mug. Aaron frowns, he knows James and has met him on several occasions and has met James’ wife. 

“Isn’t James married?” Aaron asks, tone colored suspicious. 

“Right, yeah. Not James, I don’t know why I said him, must be because I was thinking about a meeting I’m supposed to have with him and Robert this morning. Howie’s the one getting married.” A memory of a conversation not a month ago pops into Aaron’s head. Brandon had told him over dinner that Howie was getting divorced from his wife because she’d been cheating. 

Brandon was lying. There was no stag-do, no get together with the lads for a celebration. Whatever Brandon was doing tonight - or more like whom he was doing tonight - had nothing to do with a stag-do. The phone number found weeks ago in Brandon’s office, the one with a heart and a man's name - Kyle. Brandon wasn’t coming home because he was meeting with his bit on the side. Jealousy surged up in Aaron, twisting in his gut and leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. 

“What?” Brandon demanded, slamming down him mug. “You think I’m lying?” 

_YES_ Aaron’s mind screamed, the word burning in the back of his throat, threatening to spill out. It would only cause a fight that would lead to something Aaron didn’t have in him to handle right now. So instead he swallowed back his suspicions and deflated under Brandon’s cruel, cold eyes. “No of course not. I believe you. It’s just - my face hurts is all.” 

Brandon’s eyes softened and a look of pure sadness washed over him and it was like someone plunged a knife into Aaron’s heart and twisted. He doesn’t fucking understand how Brandon can make him feel so much despair with that one look and a need flared inside Aaron to make it go away, make it better for his husband. _Why? Why do I still have to feel this way for you?_

“I’m so sorry,” Brandon whispered and closed the distance between them, gingerly taking Aaron’s face between his hands so as not to cause him more pain. “I wish you wouldn’t push me like you do. I hate hurting you so much, baby.” 

_Then why?_ Aaron wanted to beg, grab Brandon and scream the question in his face until Brandon made him understand why he hurts him the way he does. Aaron flinches as Brandon brushes his thumb over the raised skin of his cheekbone, making a hissing sound as if the touch had hurt himself instead of Aaron. “Sorry,” he whispers and brings Aaron’s face closer to his, placing a kiss on his forehead, then his good cheek, one to his lips and then a barely there brush of his lips over his fractured cheekbone. 

Aaron dry swallows, fighting back a fresh wave of tears and longing for Brandon to be like this with him all the time. He wants Brandon to love him the way he did when they first met, when he was gentle and tender instead of abusive and frightening. Aaron swayed forward into Brandon’s arms, resting the good side of his face against Brandon’s shoulder. Brandon was careful enough not to squeeze when he encircled Aaron in his arms. 

“I’m so sorry about the Mercedes,” Aaron whispered, twisting his hands into the arms of Brandon’s jacket whilst desperately hoping Brandon would understand. “It _was_ an accident.” 

“I’m sure it was,” Brandon sighed, “but that doesn’t matter. I’ll call the body shop during my break today. Speaking of I need to be going.” Aaron clung to him shamelessly for a moment longer, craving comfort and love Brandon denies him too often of. He _needs_ it or he’ll start feeling like he’s suffocating, spiraling into a pit of loneliness that he can’t claw his way out of. Brandon is all he has and he just wants to be shown he matters in someway to him. Aaron hates himself for being so goddamn desperate for affection from the man who repeatedly abuses him. 

Brandon soothingly rubs at his back before gently pushing Aaron away. He stares at Aaron for a moment longer before sighing. “You know I have vacation time coming up, maybe we could have an impromptu holiday. We could go back to Greece.” Aaron remembers Greece and how wonderful it had been. A longing so strong inside Aaron flares up and he’s nodding before even thinking about it, a genuine smile appearing on his face for what felt like the first time in months. 

“I’d really like that,” Aaron says. Brandon’s answering smile takes Aaron’s breath away. Fuck, he hates that small part of him that still loves his husband, that part that allows him to feel hopeful. 

“We’ll discuss it later, but I do need to be getting on with,” he kisses Aaron quickly and then takes off, calling out a quick goodbye before leaving Aaron alone again. 

***

Aaron’s lower back and butt hurt from the sex him and Brandon had last night enough that he takes the other two painkillers. He can’t chew anything because of the fracture in his cheekbone but the thought of food makes him nauseous anyway. He takes care of things around the house, spreading it out so he doesn’t have too much free time on his hands. 

At first it had been a challenge to keep Brandon’s house - odd how Aaron still feels like it’s Brandon’s house instead of _their_ house - organized the way Brandon wants it - needs it. His OCPD is a strange mental illness. The bathroom is complicated, everything having a label and proper place, towels color coded and by thread count. Brandon’s side of the double sink stays organized by product and size, everything having to be pristinely cleaned. Aaron’s isn’t and he often catches Brandon glaring hatefully at his side of the bathroom, but Aaron likes not having the order. Their bedroom is the same, the bed has to be made a certain way, pictures on the walls straightened - Aaron remembers the time when Brandon found a picture that wasn’t aligned correctly and he’d jerked it off the wall and smashed it against the ground. Aaron had cried because it was their wedding photo. 

Then there are the closets - clothes arranged by color, size and what item of clothing each piece is. Shoes aligned by size, color and type. God forbid Brandon find a pair of boots next to a pair of dress shoes. The clothes in their wardrobe were kept separately so none of it got mixed in together, whilst Aaron’s drawers were mismatched - t-shirts with socks and trackies with his underwear - Brandon’s were organised just the way he likes. And then there was the fact that everything had to be immaculately clean. 

The kitchen was the worst to keep up with. The fridge alone is a bloody nightmare most of the time. It was an industrial sized fridge - at first Aaron thought it was joke to have one in a house instead of commercial kitchen but soon realized why Brandon needed it. It was big enough to have a self for each of the food groups. Dairy and eggs on the top, vegetables on the next one, fruit below those, next was for tupperware where they packaged leftovers from dinner and then meat products on the bottom. The crisper drawers held their drinks like beer, juice, or fizzy drinks. The inside of the door held condiments and each shelf had to be color coded and arranged by size. If any food expired it had to be thrown away immediately or Brandon would go into a strop. 

The walk in pantry was just a hellish. Canned foods had to be arranged by size and type of food, all labels facing forward so you didn’t have to take forever to look for what you wanted. Boxed foods like cereal and pasta was organized by box size and type of food. Aaron had been taking care of all of this nonsense for so long it’s second nature to him by now and he rarely has any slip ups. 

The living room was another story. Brandon had it set up so everything in the room was spaced out evenly, the focal point being the coffee table sitting in the exact center of the living room. If Aaron has to move the table to vacuum the rug then he has to have a measuring tape with him he make sure to place the table back in it’s exact position it was in before he moved it. Aaron can’t imagine what goes on inside Brandon’s mind if he finds things out of order. He’d tried to explain it once to Aaron and he described it as an itch inside his brain he couldn’t scratch until the mess up was fixed to his liking and perfect. 

Aaron thinks he must be a constant itch to Brandon’s brain. 

He’d spaced out the house work as best he could but found himself with nothing left to do at half-five and sighed in relief when the landline started ringing. Aaron answered on the second ring. “Hello,” said softly. 

“It’s me,” Brandon said as a greeting. “I wanted to call and let you know that I accidently left some important files at the office but I don’t have time to go back so I’m having someone come by a drop them off. He should be there soon.” 

“Who?” Aaron asked as his anxiety flew through the roof. He didn’t want anyone seeing him with the state he’s in. 

“Robert Sugden,” Aaron feels woozy. Anybody but him. He remembers last night and being in the bathroom with the razor blade in his hand and Robert’s voice in his head. “Aaron I have to go, he should be there soon.” 

“Wait,” Aaron says but the line goes silent. “Shit,” he rasped out and dropped the phone down on the sofa, running for the stairs. He has coverup to help with the bruises but the swelling will be noticeable. He doesn’t make it up two stairs before the doorbell is rung. “Fuck,” he gasps. 

He stands frozen on the stairs, looking at the front door and hoping that if he ignores it long enough Robert will just leave the files outside and take off. The doorbell rings again and then a minute later Robert starts knocking on the door. “Aaron,” comes the sound of Robert’s muffled voice. “Aaron are you in there?” Knocking again. Aaron’s mind is running rapid trying to come up with a good enough lie to keep Robert outside. “Aaron!” 

“Who is it?” Aaron shouts back. 

It’s silent for a moment before Robert answers. “It’s Robert Sugden. Your husband left some important files for a deposition he needs to work on over the weekend and he asked me to bring them by.” 

“Er… er okay. Could you leave them out there, it’s just that I think I’ve got a bad case of the flu and I don’t want you coming in and getting sick because of me.” Aaron bites his bottom lip hoping Robert doesn’t cotton on. It’s a believable enough of a lie. 

“Well lucky me that I’ve had a flu shot,” Robert said and Aaron cursed silently. “I’m not worried about catching your germs, Aaron.” 

“That’s all good and well but I’m not up much for visitors. Just leave the files and I’ll get them after you’ve gone.” Aaron cringes at how ridiculous he sounds. 

“Are you okay, Aaron?” Robert asks softly through the door. “Do you need to see a doctor? I can take you if you like.” Aaron deflates at that, suddenly feeling - he’s not sure what he’s feeling but it’s been too long since someone sounded so concerned over him. He finds himself walking closer to the door and reaching out for the handle. “Aaron?” 

“Er… hold on a moment,” Aaron says. If he lets Robert in then he’ll see Aaron’s not sick but will see he’s been badly beaten. He thinks of another quick lie to explain the first lie and one that won’t rouse too much suspicion. At least he hopes it won’t. Slowly he opens the door, standing behind it to hide from Robert for as long as possible. “Come in.” 

Robert steps into his home dressed in a suit, the jacket a dusty rose color with gray trousers and a white dress shirt underneath with a tie to match the trousers. It hugs Robert’s fit body in all the right places. Aaron’s not blind; he’s very much aware that Robert is an exceptionally attractive man. If he wasn’t married… Aaron cuts that line of thought off before it can get himself into more trouble.

Robert looks around for a moment before settling his eyes on Aaron as Aaron shuts the door. Robert’s gasp of horror makes Aaron wince. “Your face,” he whispers. “What happened to you?” 

“Er… I um got drunk last night at a pub and shot my mouth off at the wrong bloke and then this happened.” It’s a lie he’s used in the past when he went to the hospital for a concussion and few broken ribs when truthfully Brandon had kicked Aaron in the chest down the stairs. 

“Jesus it looks like this bloke used you as his punching bag,” Aaron flinched a took a step back from Robert. “Does this sort of thing happen often to you?” Aaron’s not sure but Robert sounds skeptical about the story. 

“Only when I drink,” Aaron lied. He never even gets drunk anymore. “I have a bit of temper sometimes.” 

“A temper huh?” Aaron doesn’t like the way Robert’s looking at him with his bright blue eyes, like he’s not one of those people who just see right through him. He has to keep himself from fidgeting under such an intense gaze. “What did Brandon have to say about this?” 

“Oh, well, something about me not knowing when to keep my mouth shut. He’s used to it though,” Aaron swallows and looks away, wanting Robert out of his house more than ever. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Robert takes a step towards him, raising his hand as if to touch Aaron and that’s too much for him. “Did you go to hospital for that?”

“I’m fine,” he snaps and takes another step back. “I told you I wasn’t up for company. Just give me the files and leave.” 

“Why did you lie about having the flu?” Robert asked instead of listening to Aaron. 

“Er. I’m sort of embarrassed about this,” Aaron mumbled, gesturing to his face. “I got my arse handed to me because I couldn’t control my temper. It’s not like I’m proud of this.” 

“If you need help,” Robert begins but Aaron stops that before it can go any further. He doesn’t need help, learned a long time ago that no one wants to help him. 

“I’m fine,” Aaron stresses angrily. “My only problem is a nosy bloke in my house who can’t take a hint. Leave the files and get out!” Aaron doesn’t look into Robert’s eyes, afraid of what he might see but finally Robert lets out a defeated sigh and hands over the files. Aaron grabs them from him and opens the door still not looking at Robert as he walks past. 

“I know you don’t know me, Aaron,” Robert says standing in the doorway so Aaron can’t shut it, “but if you ever need something or just someone to talk to you can always call me. Brandon has my number if you need it.”  


“I won’t,” Aaron growls. Robert stands there for a second longer before nodding in defeat and walking out the door. Aaron doesn’t waste any time in slamming it shut. 

Who the fuck does Robert Sugden think he is? Coming to his home and questioning Aaron’s life and offering him help. He doesn’t need help. Aaron’s accepted his life for what it is and has learned to live with it. He doesn’t need nor want some nosy nobody coming into his life and acting like they give a shit about him just because they can see a few of his bruises. Aaron gets a sort of vindictive pleasure at the thought of telling Robert all of his secrets and watching as he runs away when he realises the trouble it would be to really try and help him. That pleasure turns sour suddenly when he thinks about how Robert would probably flinch away from him like he has a disease. “Probably run screaming from me.” 

More belittling thoughts run through Aaron’s head until he’s pushing painfully against his the bruises on his stomach to hurt himself. Now that something he’d like Robert to see and then he can find out just how much Robert “wants” to help him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The feedback I receive on this is so amazing. All of you are so supportive and kind in your comments and I just love that. XOXO to all of you!
> 
> The description of the housework allows you to sort of see into Brandon's OCPD mind and how he needs not only control over the little things in his life but the people as well.


	10. Robert 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert's suspicion grows when Brandon's lie doesn't correlate with Aaron's, and he makes a move to get closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a short one. I struggled with this chapter but got through it.

Robert wasn't listening, he knows he should be but he's distracted by Brandon's right hand and the bruises around his knuckles. He'd had them yesterday but Robert thought nothing of it but after seeing Aaron's face last night he can't help but stare openly at them. He finds it odd that Aaron was in a bad way, the bruises and swelling on his face worse than some stupid fight in a pub, and now he's sitting in a room with Aaron's husband who has bruises on his knuckles but no where else. It could be a coincidence but Robert's not one to believe in coincidences. 

There's also the obvious way Aaron had been lying. Saying he had the flu, refusing to open the door and then the excuse he'd given Robert about why he was the way he looked. Not to mention the obvious offense Aaron took to Robert's questions and the offer of help if Aaron needed it. He'd also noticed the way Aaron was holding himself last night, like he was trying to play off his injuries as nothing serious but was actually in a lot more pain than he was letting on. Aaron had also seemed to be skittish about it all, wanting Robert out of his home as soon as possible and away from him. 

Aaron had confessed to having a temper which would back up the story Vic had told him but not once had Brandon come to work looking like he'd been abused, nor does Brandon act as if he's being abused. Brandon is - to put it mildly - full of himself. Robert can relate to that, he thinks very highly of himself but his arrogance is more a front so no one can see below the surface. Brandon doesn't wear his arrogance as a shield, he wears it like a golden crown sat atop his head. Robert really doesn't like him. 

“Are you listening?” Robert blinks stupidly for a second before nodding. 

“Sorry,” he wipes a hand down his face. He was tired having been up most the night with thoughts of Aaron on his mind. “What were you saying?” 

Brandon rolls his eyes and tossed a file down in front of Robert. “I need you to take William McAlister's divorce case. Fair warning, the man's a bit of bleater.” 

Robert sighs but picks up the file. Being the new man around here he seems to always get the “bleaters”. “Hey, er, how is your husband?” 

“Aaron? Why?” Brandon stares down Robert for a moment, coal dark eyes hardened in suspicion. 

“Well I saw how bad he'd been hurt when I went to drop those files off last night,” Robert says like he's being curious about someone's well being instead of suspicious like he really is. 

“He's fine,” Brandon waves it off, “just got in a car accident. Man shouldn't be let behind the wheel of car. Did a bang up job on my Mercedes.” Robert didn't know what disturbed him more, that Brandon had just told him a completely different story then the one Aaron gave him or that Brandon didn't seemed to be worried about Aaron's well being at all. Alarms went off in Robert's head, all signs screaming DANGER! 

“He didn't tell me that,” Robert's voice came out raspy and he had to clear his throat. “But he is okay?” 

“Why are you so interested in my husband?” Brandon pursed his lips and glared at Robert. “Oh I see,” Brandon chuckled but it wasn't humorous, degrading almost and sneered at Robert. “You like him.” 

“I don't really know him,” Robert said truthfully. 

“You don't have to know him to fuck him,” Brandon snapped. 

“That's highly presumptuous of you. I've only spoken with your husband on two occasions,” Robert omits the other day when they'd been shopping, “and I won't lie about thinking your husband is attractive, but I'm afraid he's not my type.” That wasn't true either, he did like Aaron but he didn't know if it was because he was worried about him or it was something more. Aaron does intrigue him though. 

“Good. My husband isn't most people's type. Besides doing nothing all he day he whines and complains about everything, expects too much of people and lashes out when he doesn't get his way. He lies a lot as well, it's always been easy for me to see through all that though. I suppose that's why me and him work so well.” 

“Those are harsh criticisms of the man you love,” Robert points out. 

“I'm just telling you the truth,” Brandon shrugs. “Aaron's always been difficult but he is the man I fell in love with.” When you love someone those are things you overlook or find endearing. Robert was disgusted.

“I’m sure he loves you just as much,” it wasn't a compliment but Brandon didn't seem to catch on. Nodding and smiling a smile that didn't warm his face or reach his eyes. 

“It hasn't always been easy, Aaron… well let's just say Aaron hasn't always been faithful,” Robert frowned. He found it odd that Brandon would offer up that information, especially when he was trying to warn Robert away from him. Telling Robert that means there might be a chance to get Aaron to cheat on Brandon again. So why? “At first I overlooked it, but then I couldn't anymore when he contracted HIV.” _Aha,_ Robert thinks. It's just another ploy in keeping Robert away. He finds it odd that Brandon would need to go to such lengths to keep Robert away from Aaron when Robert hasn't expressed any interest in Aaron except about his well being after seeing his bruises; and that, well that's just human decency. 

Brandon's paranoia was off the charts. Robert couldn't deny how uneasy that made him feel. 

HIV. Vic had told him the same. It didn't matter though, HIV didn't make you into a pariah, and there are ways of preventing the STI from spreading. So Robert just smiles and says, “Good thing they make condoms.” 

“Yeah,” Brandon grunts. “I really don't like talking about it.” 

_You're the one who brought it up,_ Robert thinks but doesn't comment. He doesn't want to upset Brandon or make him more suspicious than he already is. He needs Brandon to trust to him, well not trust him but to keep him from suspecting that Robert suspects there's something horrible happening in their home. 

He couldn't come out and ask Brandon, ‘are you abusing your husband?’ All that will get him is possibly fired and his teeth knocked in. No, he needn't go through Brandon but Aaron. Only problem is, Robert isn't and can't get close to Aaron unless going through Brandon. He could call the police, leave an anonymous tip about suspected domestic violence in the home, but there's a problem with that as well. If there isn't; good. Robert can stop worrying; but if there is and the police investigate and nothing turns up then Brandon could turn on Aaron, suspecting him of reporting the abuse and that… well that could turn very very bad for Aaron. 

He doesn't want to try flirting no matter how easy it would be. If it came to it then he would but he'd rather try something less unsavory. “So I was thinking, I don't have a lot of mates - well none really - how about you and I go out for a drink sometime?” Robert cringed inwardly. He's not good at this sort of thing - making mates. He never was and even now at thirty he's still terrible at it. 

“Drinks?” Brandon questions. He looks Robert up and then down, assessing him. Robert keeps his expression closed, not giving away how uncomfortable it is. “Why not. I can't tonight though, Aaron will go into a strop if I go out two nights in a row.” 

“Well if I'm not imposing, how about dinner at yours? I'll buy the food and it keeps me from being a hindrance to my sister and husband for one night.” 

Brandon was silent and Robert didn't know if that was good or bad. He had to admit it sounded a bit desperate but maybe he could play that angle. “You have no idea how awkward it is to sit at a dinner table with a couple newlyweds. It gets uncomfortable when you're sitting there and they start making heart eyes at each other.” 

Brandon screws up his face as if sympathising with Robert. “Alright. Dinner tonight. I'll let Aaron know.” 

“Perfect,” Robert's smile was all fake.


	11. When You Run Out of Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert pushes and it backfires. Aaron fights with Brandon and then Robert pushes some more...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Depictions of mental/physical abuse.

Aaron's furious. Brandon called him a few hours ago to let him know that he's bringing home a guest tonight. Robert. He doesn't want Robert in his home with his eyes that don't see through him and his too many probing questions. He doesn't want to make nice over dinner and have to act like him and Brandon are the perfect loving couple. Aaron doesn't want to have to fake it in his own home. Everywhere else he has to cover up the bruises, hide behind his wall he put up to keep people out, and he doesn't want to pretend in his own home where it's the hardest to do because everywhere he looks he's sees memories of the nightmares Brandon had dished out to him. 

He doesn't understand why Brandon even agreed to this. Brandon hates having guests in his house, afraid they'll mess something up or see how their lives together really are. There has to be some reason Brandon has allowed Robert over, he's just not sure what his husband's angle is. 

Aaron didn't bother to try and hide his bruises which are now darker than they were yesterday. Robert had already seen them and it would look suspicious if he tried to cover them now. He put on a jumper that clung to his body so it wouldn't ride up on his wrists and show the bruises from Brandon's hands. 

Aaron heard the cars and went into the kitchen. He grabbed a beer from the fridge for Brandon, waiting to see what Robert wanted instead. Robert had offered to get dinner so at least he didn't have to cook tonight. They were laughing as they came through the door. 

“Hey baby,” Brandon said and made a beeline for Aaron, kissing his good cheek as he took the beer Aaron had for him. “Ta.” 

“Aaron,” Robert nodded at him. He had bags of food in his hands and set them down on the island. “Brandon said you like Chinese.” 

“Yeah it's great,” Aaron said, his mouth filling with saliva at the scent of the food. “I prefer Thai, though.” 

“I'll have to remember that,” Robert said pleasantly, a small smile playing at his lips. Aaron didn't know whether he wanted that smile gone or for it to grown into a full smile. 

“Yes, well, Aaron is a picky one,” Brandon said good naturedly but Aaron knew it was more of an insult than anything. “I'm going to wash up real fast.” 

Aaron had to stop himself from latching onto Brandon or following him out of the room. He didn't want to be left alone with Robert. “How are you feeling?” Robert asked and pointed at Aaron's face. 

“Oh, er, I'm fine. You wanna beer?” 

“Please,” Robert said and Aaron got one out of the fridge. He took the lid off before giving it to Robert. “Ta. So you're okay? Not in any pain or anything?” 

“I'm fine,” Aaron stressed.

“Car accident, right?” Robert asked. 

“Er, no,” Aaron blinked confusedly at Robert. He'd told him yesterday what had happened. “Bar fight.” 

“Oh right. Except that's a lie or maybe your husband was the one lying when I asked what happened and he told me a car accident. So which is it?” 

Aaron's mouth went dry. He didn't know what to say. He'd never been caught in a lie like this before. He grabbed at the bruise around his wrist and squeezed, trying to use the pain to clear his head. “Er… it was um, it was - both. I did have a car accident but it wasn't what caused this,” he pointed at his face. Aaron realised he hadn't even looked up at Robert and made himself do so, so it didn't seem as if he was lying. “The fight happened before the accident. I didn't tell Bran because I got behind the wheel drunk. I didn't want him to know I was drinking and driving, so I lied and said it was the accident and didn't tell him about going to a pub.” 

“So you lied to your husband?” 

“Yes and before you get on your high horse I remember you telling me you cheated on your wife and didn't tell her so I guess that makes us both liars.” 

“Woah,” Robert held up his hands in surrender, “I'm not trying to upset you Aaron. I'm not saying I've never lied before, I've just lied better than you.” 

“I never lied to you,” Aaron lied, “I lied to my husband. It's not my fault you assumed I lied.” 

“Aaron,” Robert spoke softly and took a steps towards him, Aaron mirrors the movement and took one back, “I'm not trying to upset you. I don't see why you had to lie to Brandon in the first place. Unless…” 

“Unless?” Aaron pressed. 

“Unless you are lying to me and these bruises never came from a car accident or a bar fight but something else. Something much worse.” 

“Worse?” Aaron's playing dumb, he's good at that and it's never failed him before. “I don't know what you mean.”

“But I think you do,” Robert stepped closer and this time Aaron didn't back away. “I think you lie to everyone because you're afraid of what might happen if you tell the truth. I know you must be scared but you don't have to be. You can let me help you.” 

“Scared? What do I have to be scared of?” Aaron is scared, right now because… because Robert knows. Somehow in the short time Aaron's known him, he figured out Aaron's darkest secret. The only time someone has said something like this to him is the people at the hospital, who offered him a chance to speak with the police because of suspected domestic violence. No. He can't know. 

“Brandon's hurting you, isn't he?” 

Aaron opens his mouth to… he's not sure. Laugh, scream, break down and cry? He doesn't get the chance to do any of that. “Excuse me?” Brandon's standing in the doorway of the kitchen, looking angrier than Aaron's ever seen him. 

Wild thoughts are running through Aaron's head. He can leave, tell Robert the truth in front of both of them and ask him to take him away from Brandon. _Who would ever love you? I'm the only one who would - does. You're pathetic and no one wants someone like you. You're lucky even I do. They'd all leave you because they know, they know what you really are. Damaged goods. You're own family doesn't even want you._ Brandon's words fill Aaron's head and confuses him. How many times had Brandon said those things to Aaron, he's lost count, but he knows Brandon's right. He's the only person who loves Aaron. _If you ever left me Aaron I don't know what I'd do. I think I'd do something really bad. You can't leave me._ He can hear Brandon's pleading in his head, confusing him more. He never knew what that meant. Brandon killing himself, killing Aaron. He's not sure but he doesn't want either of those things to happen. _If you ever leave me I'll find you, and I will kill you and whoever else you're with._

Aaron snaps and slams his hands against Robert's chest, throwing him backwards. “Who the fuck do you think you are, coming into our home and accusing my husband of that? You don't know me or him or anything about our marriage. You had no right. Get out! Get the hell out of my house!” 

“Aaron,” Brandon shouts and comes over to him, putting an arm around his waist and pulling him back against his chest. Aaron decides to take his acting career further. 

“I lied to you, Bran, and I'm so sorry. The car accident didn't cause the bruises. I went to a pub, got in a fight because I was drunk. I didn't want to tell you because I'd been drinking and shot my mouth off and then I got behind the wheel and drove drunk. I know you would have been disappointed in me and I didn't want that. So I'm sorry.” 

And the award goes to… he's not sure because Brandon plays the next part flawlessly. “Aaron,” he sighs as if truly hurt and disappointed. “You lied to me? Again. I thought we were past this?” 

“We are. I'm really sorry. I just… I didn't want to make you upset with me. I already know I've made a lot of mistakes. Please forgive me?” 

“Of course but we're going to have to talk about this,” he looks over at Robert who looked, well Aaron would be laughing at his expression like a smacked back side if everything wasn't so serious right now. “When we're alone.” 

Brandon turns to Robert, face completely shut down so even Aaron can't read what's going on underneath his concealed mask. “You need to leave my home and never come around my husband again. I thought you wanted to be friends but now I see you're nothing but a liar with his own agenda to try and break me and my husband up.” 

“I-I - that's not. I honestly thought something bad was happening. I'm sorry, I obviously got confused.”

“Yes, you did. Please leave.” Robert nodded quickly and walked out, leaving Aaron and Brandon alone. Neither of them spoke until the front door closed behind Robert.

“I swear I didn't say anything to him. He just assumed.” Aaron had barely got the words out before Brandon backhanded him across his already damaged cheek. Aaron cried out, blinding pain shooting up into his skull and his stomach rolled threatening to spill. “It wasn't my fault.” 

“Of course it is,” Brandon spat. “If you weren't so useless and pushed me all the time I wouldn't have to hurt you in the first place and he wouldn't have ever have had the chance to become suspicious.” 

“H-He doesn't know. Robert's a nobody who's too nosy for his own good. I-I know it's my fault-” 

“You're damn right it is. I give you everything. A home, clothes, money and food, all because I love you and what do you give me? Stress. Maybe I'd be better off without you.” Fear gripped Aaron and he was grabbing at Brandon before he could stop himself. _Who could ever love you, but me?”_ Aaron doesn't - can't be alone. 

“Please, Bran. I know - I know I'm difficult and I make things hard on you but please, don't leave me. I need you.” 

“Then do better,” Brandon snapped. Aaron flinched and moved in closer. 

“I will. Promise. I know you don't mean to hurt me. I-I know you only do it because - because you l-love me.” Aaron swallowed hard, looking up at Brandon and gave a fake smile. “Let me make it up to you?” 

“How?”

Aaron didn't need words to answer as he dropped to his knees and reached for Brandon's belt. 

***

Aaron awoke in the middle of the night and the bed next to him was empty. He reached over, Brandon's side of the bed was still warm. He got up and left the bedroom, turning on the hallway light so he could see. He could hear voices below as he reached the top of the stairs. 

“I told you never to come here. If my husband hears this…” It was Brandon and someone else at the front door, whispering. Brandon sounded pissed. 

“You told me if I needed you-”

“Then I would meet you somewhere, but I didn't mean in the middle of the night and I sure as hell didn't mean my fucking house where I live with my husband!” 

“You said you'd leave him, that you don't even love him.”

“Of course I love him,” Brandon sneered. “And I'm not leaving him. Especially for you, Kyle.” 

Aaron felt sick. So Brandon's lover was visiting him in the night, and he'd told Kyle he'd leave Aaron for him. Anger surged through Aaron and he stomped down the stairs. “What the fuck is going on?” 

“Nothing,” Brandon said and closed the door so Aaron couldn't see Kyle. “Go back upstairs, Aaron.” It was a demand but Aaron wasn't having it. He pushed past Brandon and forced the door open. A man - if he could be called that, he looked no younger than nineteen - stood outside on their doorstep. 

“Who the fuck are you?” Aaron demanded. 

“I-I, I'm just going,” he turned to leave but Aaron grabbed him by the arm to stop him. 

“So you're the twink my husband's fucking behind my back. Word of advice, he's done this more than once so you're nothing special. You'll do well to stay the fuck away from _my_ husband!” 

“Aaron!” Brandon grabbed Aaron by the shoulder and pulls him back into the house and slammed the door in Kyle's face. “How dare you do that?” 

“How dare I? Fuck you! You told me you'd stop cheating. Fucking liar!” The anger was so bad Aaron saw red and he lashed out before thinking and hit Brandon, fist connecting with Brandon's jaw. 

Aaron should've known better; Brandon hits back twice as hard. Blood poured from his nose as he fell to the floor, Brandon's fist possibly breaking it. Aaron tried to staunch the flow with the sleeve of his jumper. 

The last thing Aaron remembers was kicking Brandon's leg out from under him as his other one was kicking Aaron in the back. He ran for the stairs, made it half way up before he was pulled back by his hair and thrown over the side of the bannister. Everything went dark. 

***

Cold. Ice cold. He gasped as he emerged from a tub full of ice water, gasping from the shocking cold hitting his system to wake him up. Brandon stood over him glaring. “It's about time.” He sneered. “Never thought I'd get you up.” 

“H-How about t-t-trying to s-shake me aw-wake first,” Aaron tried to make it sarcastic but his teeth were chattering so bad it came off more serious.

“I did. You wouldn't wake up. Then I tried pouring water on you and, nothing. This worked.” 

“W-What time is it?” 

“Early, around seven am. I have to go to work. You might want to go to hospital, the gash on your head is pretty bad. So is your nose.”

Brandon left Aaron shivering and aching in the tub, alone.

***

Aaron did go to hospital after he saw the gash. Luckily his nose wasn't broken so it didn't have to be reset or patched up. He lied, like always and they stitched him up, gave him some painkillers and sent him on his way. The bloodstain on the hardwood floor at home was hard to clean and Aaron swears he can still see a discoloration in the wood. 

He doesn't do much today, doesn't have enough energy. He took three of the pills and was nodding off on the sofa when he heard a ringing. It was muffled and didn't sound like their house phone. 

The ringing was close, so Aaron stood up and started feeling around in the sofa cushions. He found the phone buried underneath where he was sat. It wasn't Brandon's, and Aaron didn't have a cellphone anymore. 

Aaron recognised the number, it's Brandon's office number. He answered the ringing phone. “Hello?” 

“Oh good, you found it.” Aaron groaned and pulled the phone away from his ear. Robert flippin’ Sugden. He's sure Robert hadn't lost the phone so he must have stashed it when Brandon and him weren't paying attention. But why? “Aaron? Aaron?” He pulled the phone back to his ear. 

“What are you playing, Robert?” 

“Nothing. I lost my phone, it happens.” Aaron rolled his eyes. 

“You were never even on the sofa. So tell me why you're hell bent on harassing me and Brandon.” 

“I'm not harassing you, I honestly lost the phone. I'll come pick it up right now.” 

“NO!” Aaron shouted. “Er… I'll have Brandon bring it to you tomorrow.” 

“I need it today. I'm taking a break now, I'll pop over real quick and be out of your hair in no time. Promise.” 

Aaron bit his lip and looked at the clock. It's normally around the time Brandon takes lunch. “Is Brandon there?” He asks. 

“No. He left about five minutes ago for lunch with some guy.” 

“What guy?” Aaron asks softly. 

“Uh, young - eighteen, nineteen - brown hair. I didn't know him and Brandon didn't introduce us.” Kyle. Aaron saw red again. 

“Fine. Come get your phone but be quick about it, I don't have all day to wait around on you.” Aaron hung up the phone before Robert could say anything. 

***

There was no chance in hiding the stitches on his forehead, but all he had to do was give Robert the phone and tell him to leave. He didn't have to say a word. Aaron jumped up as Robert knocked on the front door. 

Robert's eyes instantly went to the gash on his forehead and then the newly dark bruises around his eyes and nose. Aaron was surprised to see he looked livid. “What lie do you have this time? Fell down the stairs, another car accident or fight, maybe you tripped over your own two feet and hit your head on the corner of a table or doorknob?” 

“All of the above,” Aaron snarled and pushed Robert's phone against his chest. “There. Now leave.” 

“You're seriously going to keep covering for him? I'm not stupid Aaron! I've seen this before. I know Brandon's abusing you!” 

“You don't know anything! You can't keep coming around here or next time I'll call the police.”

“Please do! I'll tell them everything, every suspicion I have and then they'll have to investigate and you'll have to answer questions. You really think your lies will be believable to a couple coppers?” 

“I won't lie because I have no reason to,” Aaron snarled and tried to shut the door but Robert threw his hand out to stop him. He walked in and past Aaron, turning around to face him once safely inside. 

“Aaron you need help. Let me help you,” Robert begged. “I know what sort of person Brandon is.”

“You don't know anything about my husband. Get out of my house.” 

“You think I don't know men like Brandon? Fine. Let me guess. First it started off great, he was everything you could've hoped for, Prince Charming wrapped up in a bow just for you. How am I doing so far?” 

Spot on. Aaron said nothing so as not incriminate himself. Robert nodded as if taking Aaron's silence as a yes. “He told you he loved you, wanted to spend the rest of his life with you and it all happened in a really short amount of time. So you think you've gotten lucky that such a wonderful man wants to spend his life with you, so you marry him, but then things start to change once he put that ring on your finger. Still right?” 

Aaron's hands clenched into fist, nails cutting into his skin and hot blood seeping out. He audibly snapped his jaw closed and looked down. “It started off as fighting, and you think 'couples fight, it's okay, we'll make it through this’, then he hits you for the first time. You try to leave, but he cries and begs, promises never to do it again and you believe because, why not? You love him and he loves you. It won't happen again. But it does. Next time it's worse, you try leaving again but more lies and false promises leave his lips and you try so hard to believe when already in the back of your mind you know it's not true.” 

“Shut up,” Aaron whispers but Robert goes on.

“The beatings get worse and the lies and promises get heavier. He starts to blame you, saying if you didn't push him then he wouldn't have to hit you. He manipulates you into believing it's all your fault and you start to believe it. He still apologies but it's different now, he says it with sex and gifts and promises he never keeps his word to. During all this he's slowly starting to control your whole life-”

“Shut up,” Aaron says louder. 

“You can't have mates, family, money, a phone or a job. He convinced you that all you have is him and no one wants you. It gets worse and worse until he's beaten you down so far you've turned into a shell of what you used to be and you want it to stop, so you tell yourself it's your fault and you'll be better and you won't upset him, but deep down you know it's not your fault and the slurs and hate and beatings will keep happening until one day Brandon doesn't stop and he kills you!” 

“SHUT UP!” Aaron roars and grabs Robert by the lapels of his jacket, slamming him against the wall. “JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING. YOU DONT - YOU HAVE NO - I JUST.” Aaron starts crying or maybe he already was, he isn't sure, but he suddenly collapsed against Robert sobbing violently. Robert just laid his entire life in front of him like some written horror novel and he can't even deny it because whilst it's the saddest story he's ever heard, it's also the truest. “I just want it to stop,” he sobs. “I don't know how to make it stop. I can't make it stop. I just want it to.” 

“You can and you will,” Robert says softly and wraps his arms around Aaron's shaking figure. “We'll make it stop.”

“I can't,” Aaron cries brokenly. 

“Yes you can and I promise - hey, look at me,” Robert pulls Aaron back and Aaron goes but keeps his hands wrapped up in Robert's jacket. He meets Robert's eyes and they're so fucking earnest. “You can make it stop and I promise I will do everything thing to help you. I will save you.”

And while Aaron believes he will help, he's just not sure he can be saved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... Yeah. I know it might've seemed harsh the way Robert pushed Aaron to admit what's happening but sometimes you have to do that when the other person is in extreme denial. 
> 
> I know what you're all thinking: finally!!! Amiright? FYI, this story is not coming to a close yet, still lots more to happen. Updates might be slower, I start a new job tomorrow. 
> 
> Also that kitchen scene was so cringe worthy at the end I almost threw up myself. Ugh.


	12. Promises, Promises.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert convinces Aaron to leave, but will he stay gone?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I've been super busy but I finally got some down time to write. Not sure when the next chapter will be up, but hopefully it won't be as long as last time.

“Here,” Robert held out a glass of water for Aaron but he made no move to take it. Aaron's sitting on the sofa, sleeves pulled down over his hands, elbows resting on his knees and hands tucked under his chin. Robert sighed and set the glass of water down on the table when Aaron made no move to take it. Aaron wiped at his eyes again even though he'd stopped crying a few minutes ago, he can still feel the last of the tears drying.

“Sorry about your suit,” Aaron whispered. His throat was a bit sore from screaming earlier and then the crying. He feels so stupid for crying all over Robert like that. Robert's a stranger, albeit a very a nosy one, but still a stranger. 

Robert looks down at the lapels of his suit where Aaron's bloody hands had curled into fists. A normal wash wasn't going to get it out. “Oh don't worry about that,” Robert waves it off as nothing but Aaron still feels guilty; the suit looks expensive. “Although, I need to ask, do you - do you have HIV Aaron?” 

Aaron laughs pityingly and shakes his head. “No I don't. Did he tell you that?” 

“Yes but, so did my sister Victoria. She told this story about Brandon coming to the village, beaten up-” Aaron was off the sofa, pacing angrily back and forth. “It's not true, is it? You never hit Brandon?” 

“Not that night. I've hit Brandon but not like that. It's small things, a slap or a punch when I'm angry or feel threatened but…” Aaron stops, he hasn't said the words yet. He could tell Robert to get out and act like this is all a bad dream. _I just want it to stop!_ “Brandon hits back twice as hard.” 

“What happened that night?” Robert asked. Aaron stayed silent. He wasn't ready to talk about that. It was the night he realised he was completely alone. So he changes direction and keeps pacing. 

“Everything you said is true. When I met Brandon he was, he was perfect. I couldn't believe he wanted to be with me. I hadn't had the best luck with my past relationships and didn't think I deserved someone as great as Brandon but, Brandon made me feel like I did deserve it. I married him two months after meeting him.” 

“Is that when things changed?” Robert asked, he wasn't pushing, just asking. Aaron sighed and stopped moving turning around to look in the direction of the kitchen. 

“It was little things. He wanted me to stay home and take care of the house. I didn't have a job and felt guilty about not helping out so I agreed. We started fighting more, me ending in tears from the horrible things he'd say but we always made up. I didn't think anything of it because couple's fight.” Aaron paused, taking a deep breath before going on. “The first time happened right over there,” he pointed near the hallway, leading to the kitchen. “We'd just gotten home from visiting my family. Adam had just gotten out of prison and I wanted him to meet Brandon. Me and Adam, well we've always been close. There was a time where I was completely gone on Adam but that had been a long time ago. Brandon didn't like Adam because of how close me and him were. When we got home, Brandon lost it and started accusing me of being in love with Adam and fucking him. I started to fight back and I pushed him, telling him he wasn't going to do anything, and then he backhanded me.” 

“Aaron,” he hadn't been looking at Robert but at the ground. He looked up to see no judgement in Robert's eyes towards him but there was some anger. “You didn't force him to hit you. No matter how much you pushed.” 

Aaron shrugged, not quite believing that. “He apologised right away, crying and begging me to forgive him. I tried to leave, saying I needed space but he convinced me to stay. I didn't think it'd happen again… until it did.” 

Aaron sat as far from Robert on the sofa as possible, wrapping his jumper around his hands again. “What happened next?” Aaron didn't want to tell everything, half of it he couldn't even force out if he wanted to. So he deflected the question. 

“It got worse. He always cries and begs me not to go and I don't. After a while he started blaming me, saying I push him and that if I didn't then he wouldn't hurt me.” More tears. Aaron's always hated crying and with the amount he has already he thinks his tears ducts surely should've dried up by now. “He's right. I do push, all the time. I don't know why I do, I just can't help it.” 

“No, Aaron. Brandon uses that as an excuse to hit you. It's not your fault and never has been. You are not to blame,” Aaron shook his head, not believing. Robert sighs meaningfully and reaches out to touch Aaron. 

Aaron sees the movement before it happens and flinches away. Robert immediately draws his hand back, resting it on his own knee. “What,” Robert begins before but pauses, weighing the words before saying them, “What do you want, Aaron?” 

“Me?” Aaron laughs darkly, “I just want the life I thought I'd have when I married Brandon. I don't want to be alone and I - I want it all to stop!” 

“It can stop. You can make it stop. You have to be strong and walk away from Brandon. I know that seems impossible,” Robert says quickly when Aaron starts shaking his head, “but it can be done. I will help you. You can go upstairs, pack your things and I can get you away from here. Tonight.” 

“He'll know,” Aaron whispers. _If you ever leave me I will find you._ “I can't leave.”

“Yes you can. I know it seems hard but you do have a choice Aaron. You can get away from here, from him. I can take you back home with me.” 

“No! I can't go back there,” Aaron snaps. “I can't see my family.” 

“Aaron they need to known they'd want to know. Aaron, you can't stay here or… it'll only get worse.” 

“You think I don't know that?” Aaron growls. “But if I leave him, he said he'd kill me and whoever I was with. I can't leave.” 

“Empty threats, Aaron. He can't hurt you unless you let him. There are people out there who want to help and protect you. Brandon can be handled. The police will help you if you let them.” 

“I know how that works. They arrest him, he makes bail and then he comes after me.” 

“You can get a restraining order,” Robert says.

“Yeah and those can take weeks to be processed. He won't wait, he'll come after me as soon as he's out.”

“I have friends back in London. Friends in high places who owe me and can have the restraining order pushed through in a day or two. It can be done. He breaks the restraining order and he goes back to jail and won't be set bail. Let me help you with this. We can go to the police now.” 

“No!” Aaron said vehemently. “I can't go there. I won't.” 

“Aaron-”

“NO!” Aaron shouted. “Why do you even care? It's not your problem. Just leave me alone.” 

“I care because no one, and I mean no one, deserves what he's been doing to you. I would do this for anyone in your situation. So I'm begging you, please let me help you.” Aaron shakes his head and looks away, refusing to say anything. Robert sighs. “Okay. Say we don't go to the police, I won't force you, but how about instead you still come with me. He won't know you left with me, there's no way of him knowing where you've gone. You take a few days to figure out what you want to do and whatever it is… I'll honor it and won't put up a fight and try to stop you. Just a few days, Aaron.” 

Aaron looked at Robert and could tell he wasn't lying. Aaron really wants it to stop and maybe - maybe leaving will shock Brandon. Aaron's never actually left before and maybe the thought of really losing Aaron will wake Brandon up, make him get help. All he wants is for Brandon to be the husband he promised to be when they got married. Aaron found himself agreeing before really thinking it through.

“Alright, but if I choose to come back you can't stop me. Deal?” 

They stare at each other for sometime before Robert's head jerks slightly in a nod. “But you have to promise me something?” 

“What?” 

“That you'll think of yourself first and your own well being. Not what he wants, but what you do.” 

Aaron doesn't even know how to put himself first, not anymore, but he agrees. “Alright. I need to go upstairs and pack somethings.” 

“Okay. I'll be down here waiting.” Aaron takes the stairs slowly, mainly because of the pain he's in. He stands in the doorway of his Brandon's bedroom. There's good memories, but the bad ones outweigh them. He can see himself lying broken and bleeding on the carpet. The stains still there, him never really being able to get it out of the carpet. He remembers his and Brandon's last anniversary, they'd danced together in here and got drunk on expensive champagne. He looks at the bed and sees nothing good, and if he thinks too much about it he'll shut down or worse go into a full panic attack. 

He sighs and makes himself move, going for the closet to get his bag. He hasn't touched it in a long time, given up on trying to leave. It's hard to hold in his hand, but he does it. He packs clothes, his toothbrush and a few other amenities from the bathroom and he when he's done, he realises that's all he has. Nothing else to his name because Brandon's taken everything else. He gets done faster than he thought he would and when he goes back down Robert's saying goodbye to someone on the phone, and Aaron is suspicious. 

“You ready?” Robert asks, nodding at the bag strapped over Aaron's shoulder.

“Who were you just talking to?” 

“What? Oh, right. It was Vic, I was letting her know I was going to be home soon and if she could clean up my room some since I was bringing a guest.” 

“I don't know if I can go there? I can't see Adam.” 

“Yes you can,” Robert tells him. “He's not your mum or anything, and you don't have to tell him anything. I can keep him from asking questions and to leave you alone if that's what you want. I'd take you to a hotel or something but I figured you'd be more comfortable at Vic's than some hotel.” 

“He hates me,” Aaron whispers. “They all do.” 

“No they don't,” Robert said. “They don't know, Aaron. They can't hate you for something they don't know about.” 

Aaron doesn't believe him. He remembers that last conversation with his mum. She has to hate him. He said the worst things to her. If by some miracle she didn't hate him, then Aaron hates himself enough for her. 

“I want to ask you something,” Aaron tenses and waits. “Why did you let them all believe Brandon's story?” 

Aaron's breath stutters out of him and he looks away. He bites down hard on the inside of his cheek, the pain clearing his head. “Shame,” he finally whispers. “I was ashamed. What Brandon turned me into, the lies he told that they all believed. Because if they believed then that's - that's how they all really saw me in the first place, and that made me so fucking ashamed of myself. I thought it was better if they didn't ever have to see me again, didn't have to put up with me. So I made sure they'd never want to see me again.”

“Or they just let Brandon manipulate them the same way he's been doing to you for years. Aaron, they're your family, and I think they miss you. You know if you're even mentioned to Chas she starts crying and doesn't stop for a long time. I think she misses you that much and it's hurts her, you being gone. And Adam, he gets angry because you gave up on all of them. And I'm not saying this to make you feel guilty, because you shouldn't, but I'm trying to make you understand your family wants and needs you. You should at least try.” 

“I don't - I don't - I don't know if I can. It's - it's too much right now.” 

“Okay,” Robert says quickly to calm Aaron some. “One step at a time, alright?” 

“Yeah. I guess.”

“How about you come home with me, and if it's too much too soon, I'll take you somewhere else?” 

Aaron swallows thickly and contemplates it. Seeing Adam is going to be so hard, and he's not sure if he's ready to deal with it all, but if he wants it all to stop, doesn't that mean fixing things with his family and Adam as well? 

“I'll try,” he tells Robert. 

“Great,” Robert smiles. “Is that everything you need?” 

“It's all I've got,” Aaron admits. 

“Okay, so you ready?” Aaron nods and follows Robert out the door. He can't sit still in Robert's car, leg bouncing and breathing increasing as they get closer to the village. 

“It's going to be okay, Aaron.” Robert tries to soothe. “Whatever happens, I'll be there for you.” 

When they get to the village, Aaron can't help but look around. Nothing's changed, it's still the same as ever and Aaron doesn't know if that's daunting or not. When he sees the pub, he can't take his eyes off it. His mum's in there, he wonders if she's having a good day of not. He hopes she is. 

Robert drives straight to Keeper's Cottage. They sit silently in the car for a moment, Aaron trying to breathe through his panic and Robert patiently waiting on him. “Take all the time you need.” 

Aaron nods quickly before opening the door and getting out. If he doesn't do it now, he's not sure he'll do it at all. Robert takes his bag for him and leads the way up the cottage, walking in with Aaron following quickly behind him. They'd picked a good time to come, no one was out and about so he wasn't seen by anyone. 

“Robert is that you?” Someone shouts from upstairs, and Aaron knows it's Vic. “I did what you asked, not sure why I needed to change your sheets, it was really weird. Whoever this guest is you've brought, I hope you're not going to be too loud with them. Adam and I at least try to respect you.” 

“Oh Jesus,” Robert mutters and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Vic could you come down here, and for God's sake, shut up.” 

He hears her laugh before he sees her. “I'm your sister, if I can't embarrassed you-” whatever she was going to say drops off at the sight of Aaron. She pauses halfway down the steps, surprise coloring her face and she looks between him and Robert. 

“Aaron? What he's doing here?” She asks Robert but before he can answer Vic says something to Aaron. “What are you doing here? My god, what happened to your face?” 

Aaron drops his head, thumb pushing against the cuts on his hands from earlier and a slight tremor begins in his legs. He shouldn't have come here. He shouldn't ever of listened to Robert. He makes a move towards the door but Robert's arm around his waist stops him. That makes Aaron freeze, and he doesn't know whether to shove Robert away or scream. 

“I'm going to show Aaron to his room, we can talk about this later.” Vic finishes coming down the stairs and Aaron doesn't meet her eyes, can't even look at her face. He does however notice she's blonde now instead of brunette, he likes it. 

“Robert,” she hissed. “I told you not to get involved.” Aaron tenses and jerks his head up to meet Robert's eyes, betrayal obvious on his face. _He's already told her. No._

He doesn't want this, can't handle it. “I want to leave! Take me back home.” 

“Aaron, calm down.” 

“You lied to me!” Aaron accuses and shoves Robert away. “Why would you do that?” 

“I didn't lie to you. She doesn't know anything. I asked her about you, remember, I told you earlier at your house.” Aaron thinks back, it was when he asked about Aaron having HIV. _Yes, but so did my sister Victoria. She told this story about Brandon showing up in the village, beaten up._

Aaron shakes his head, suddenly embarrassed. “Right, yeah. Sorry.” 

“Don't be. It's okay. Why don't you go on up and I'll follow you. It's the last bedroom on the left.” 

“Alright,” Aaron takes his bag and still without looking at Vic, he goes up the stairs. 

“What have you done Robert? I said not get involved with him!” Aaron tries to drown her out but he can't. 

“Not right now, Vic. Later. Just know that… know that you were all wrong.” Robert tells her and Aaron doesn't know how he feels about the anger in Robert's voice.


	13. The Beginning of Explanations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the longish wait. I had half the written, then it got deleted and I had to rewrite it.

“It's not much,” Robert says when he joins Aaron upstairs. “I'm going to be taking the sofa downstairs for the time being. Make yourself at home.” 

“I don't want to put you out,” Aaron said. He hadn't realised he'd be taking over Robert's room. 

“You're not,” Robert says and he says it like he means it. “Sofa’s pretty comfortable anyway.” 

“What did Vic say?” Aaron asked as he sat on the bed. A picture on the bedside table catches his eye. A redheaded woman Aaron recognises from other photos Vic had shown him a long time ago. It was Sarah Sugden, Vic's mum. She had her arms wrapped around a freckled face boy, both of them smiling. Robert and Sarah looked so happy and suddenly Aaron misses his own mum so much. 

“Not much. I didn't really tell her anything. She's making tea right now. Adam will be home later.” 

Aaron nods and looks around the room, avoiding Robert's eyes. “You can come down whenever you like or I could bring something up to you later.” 

“I think I just want to rest for a while,” says Aaron. 

“Yeah alright, if you need anything I'll be downstairs.” He leaves Aaron alone again. Aaron removes his shoes, turns off the light and lies down on top of the duvet, body facing towards the bedroom door. He doesn't sleep, afraid if he does he'll only wake up to find out he's still at home with Brandon and this has been a dream. 

His skin feels tight, uncomfortable, like he wants to claw or cut his way out of it. When Brandon finds out he's gone… he's terrified of the reaction and what Brandon might do. Aaron's always believed Brandon threats if Aaron ever left him, and Brandon has always followed through with his threats, turning them into promises. It's one thing for Brandon to hurt him, but it's another for Aaron to cause harm to his friends and family. If Brandon hurts them, well then that's on Aaron, and he's not sure he'd able to live with that. 

****

“You've been staring at that pie for ten minutes now, and you haven't said a word about why Aaron Livesy is upstairs in my box room looking like he's gone a few rounds with Heavyweight champion Tyson Fury?”

Robert looked up at Vic before sighing, grabbing his fork and tucking into the chicken and mushroom pie Vic had made. It's one of his favorites, but the taste is acrid on his tongue. Maybe Aaron was hungry, he should take something up for him. “When's Adam supposed to be here?” Robert asks instead of telling Vic what she wanted to know. 

“Not for another hour,” Vic sets down her own fork and laces her fingers together in front of her. “Are you going to tell me? Is Aaron in trouble? Is he involved in something bad? Robert, is this gonna get you in trouble?” 

“He's not in trouble… he's - Vic, he's in danger.” 

“Danger?” She says the word like a bad taste in her mouth. “What's he gotten himself into now?” 

“Don't!” He snaps, feeling bad at the flash of surprise on Vic's face from his harsh tone. “It's not like that, okay. He didn't do it to himself. Brandon did it.” 

“Did what? What has happened?” 

“Brandon lied to all of you, and everyone single one of you fell for it. It's not your fault though, he knows how to manipulate people. Aaron was never abusing Brandon, Brandon's been abusing Aaron.” 

“How long?” Victoria whispers, horrified. 

“Since they got married, at least that's what Aaron told me.” 

“You think it might've been before that?” 

“I honestly don't know,” Robert sighed, “maybe. Probably not. Anabelle was a psychologist, she used to pull all that psycho-babble rubbish on me. Analysing my personality and what not. I used to think it was absolutely rubbish, because then wouldn't she have realised sooner I was cheating on her? She used to talk about different cases of personality, and she told me once about abusers. They look for these people - people like Aaron - and treat them so good at first, hide who they really are and lure them into a into a false sense of security, then turn on them later. They beat them down, physically and emotionally until they really believe they're worthless and they deserve the abuse because they've been conditioned by their abuser to think it's the only way they can be loved.” 

“But it's Aaron,” Vic stresses, “I know he's not been the most stable but I've known him to be strong and stand his ground. He never seemed the type to be pushed around like that.” 

“Even so, the strongest person - if told enough times - that they're worthless, and that they deserve it will eventually start to believe it. Especially if they're being told these things by someone who claims to love them. It's the same with animals - you punish a dog for no reason eventually that dog is going to believe it did something wrong to deserve the punishment.” 

“I can't believe we did nothing,” Vic shakes her head sadly, “not me or Adam or even Aaron's family. We all believed that lying bastard.” 

“It's not your fault or anyone else's. You didn't know and people like Brandon know how to manipulate.” 

“He played us,” she growls angrily. “He made us believe those lies and we fell for it hook, line and sinker. How could we be so stupid! We didn't even try to figure it out, we just believed it!” 

“Sometimes we don't want to see beyond what people tell us. You didn't know, you couldn't of.”

“Aaron must hate us,” Vic says sadly. 

“I think he thinks you hate him and he mostly hates himself right now.” 

“But we never hated him,” Vic desperately says, “we were hurt, sure. Angry even, but we never hated him!” 

“I know that,” Robert says reassuringly, “and in time Aaron will as well. He needs time, to cope and figure out what he's gonna do now. I tried to get him to go to the police, but he's refusing. I think right now he's just really scared.” 

“He has to go to the police!”

“We can't force him, Vic. Forcing Aaron to do something he doesn't want to do right now is the same as Brandon controlling him. He has to make these choices on his own.” 

“But Brandon can't get away with this!” Vic quietly yells. “So Aaron gets away, but what of the next person Brandon does this to?” 

“Aaron knows his options, Vic, but we can't force him. He needs time, and if we help him maybe, eventually he'll take action against Brandon, but for now we have to wait. All that matters as of now is Aaron took that first step, he got out of that house and away from his abuser.” 

“But he could go back!” 

“And that will also be his choice,” Vic sneers at that but doesn't say anything. “It's up to us - you and Adam, me, his family - to help Aaron through this, because he's going to need it. Hopefully with enough time Aaron won't want to go back.” 

“We can't let Brandon get away with this!” Vic stresses, “If we do, then we're just as bad as Brandon. What if it was me? If you found out that Adam was abusing me? You'd want him dead, and you'd be the one to do it!” 

“Aaron isn't you,” Robert simplifies. “You're my sister, and Aaron - Aaron's nothing but a stranger I discovered being abused by his husband.” 

“Then why even step in?”

“Because no one should have to go through what Aaron's gone - is going through. I'd help anyone in this situation but I'm not going to go to Brandon's half cocked and do something that's going to land me in prison.” 

“I know someone who will,” Vic says darkly. “We can tell Cain.” 

“No,” Robert shakes his head. “Then that gets Aaron's uncle grassed up and then Aaron'll blame himself. We have to let Aaron make the calls on this.” 

“What are we supposed to do then?” 

“Be there,” Robert tells her, “and help him through this. Let him know we care, that there's people on his side who want what's best for him.” 

“Okay,” Vic agrees. “We'll be there for him.” 

They get back to their now cold tea and just finishing up when Adam comes home. It's late, already dark outside and Robert wonders if Aaron's asleep and considers taking food up to him again. “I'm going upstairs to check on Aaron. Will you not say anything to Adam yet, I'd rather be there when you do?” 

“Of course,” Vic promises and Robert takes the stairs two at a time just as the front door opens and Adam walks in. 

The light's off in his bedroom so he knocks softly before pushing the door open. Aaron is stretched out across the bed on top of the duvet, eyes closed and snoring very softly. Even in sleep he looks tense, like he's afraid of being woken up at night to be hurt. That makes Robert's chest pain at the sight. Slowly, he reaches out and shakes Aaron's shoulder. 

“Aaron,” he says softly. Faster than a bullet, Aaron shoots up into sitting position, eyes wide and terrified. He scrambles back against the headboard, dragging the duvet underneath with him. Aaron's breaths come out harshly, eyes flitting around in the darkness as if searching for a means to escape. 

“Hey, hey… you're okay,” Robert says gently. “I'm not going to hurt you, okay?” He doesn't touch Aaron again, just slowly backs away from the bed until he reaches the light switch in the room and flips it on. Aaron blinks at the light above before settling his eyes on Robert, body barely relaxing as he remembers where he is. 

“What time is?” Aaron croaks with his sleep filled voice. 

“Around nine,” Robert says and keeps to the other side of the room. “Dinner is finished and I came to see if you were hungry. Adam's home as well.” 

“Brandon,” is all Aaron says. 

“He's not here,” Robert says. “You're safe.” 

“He must be worried,” Aaron's looking down as he says this, teeth locking into his bottom lip. _Fat Chance,_ Robert thinks. He doesn't voice this thought, afraid it'd upset Aaron more. 

“You should worry about yourself,” Robert says instead. “Why don't you come downstairs and eat.” 

“Adam he…” 

“Adam will be in his best behavior or he'll have me and Vic to deal with. I might not seem like much but Vic can be scary when she needs to be.”

Aaron doesn't even crack a smile at Robert's joke, not that it was even that funny. “I guess you told her then?” 

“I did,” Robert says honestly. “She was upset with herself for believing Brandon, and she'll probably want to tell you how sorry she is about that. If you can't handle it right now, I understand. I can bring something up for you.” 

“Can't hide in this room forever,” Aaron looks around the room as if he'd like to do just that but he gets up, then hisses in pain as he does, grabbing around his ribs and falls back down. 

“You alright?” Robert takes a few steps forwards but forced himself to stop, giving Aaron space. 

“Yeah,” Aaron struggles to say between panting breaths. “Just some pain. I have some pills in my bag.” Robert looks around for a second before spotting Aaron's bag on top of the wardrobe. He opens it up, digging around as Aaron's says, “It should be in the bag with my toothbrush and stuff.” 

Robert nods to himself and finds the toiletries bag. The pills are on top, and when he removes them something silver catches his eye. It's a razor blade, sharp and ominous. Robert doesn't know if it's in there to intend harm, but someone in Aaron's situation shouldn't have access to something like that. He's not saying Aaron is suicidal, but better safe than sorry. He pulls the razor out, juggling the pills into his other hand and zips up Aaron's bag. He hands the pills to Aaron and while he's distracted with opening the bottle, Robert slips the razor into his pocket, planning on throwing it the bin first chance he gets. 

Aaron shakes out two tiny green pills and swallowed them dry. “Do you want to give them time to kick in before coming down?” 

“I'll be alright,” he slowly stands up this time and stumbles to the door. Robert hovers, never touching Aaron, but stays close incase he needs to catch Aaron if he falls. 

Aaron stops at the top of the stairs, looking at them like they're a treacherous steep hill instead of a set of fifteen steps to walk down. Slowly, he makes it down halfway with Robert behind him when they hear Adam's voice. 

“This looks great, babe,” the sound of a kiss floats through the open doorway of the kitchen. 

“Beer?” Vic asks Adam. 

“Sure,” the fridge is opened and closed. “So what were you telling me about a strange phone call?” Vic asks Adam. 

“Oh right,” there's a pause before Adam continues. “It came through about an hour ago. It was Brandon, y'know, Aaron's husband?” Aarons entire body went stiff and he had to grab hold of the bannister so as not to fall from his suddenly weakened knees. “Apparently Aaron's up and left him.” 

“Really?” Vic's voice barely feigning interest. “Wonder why he called you?” 

“I gave him my number before he left the last time he was here, incase he needed anything. He called Chas too, but said she hadn't seen him. Not surprised though, not like Aaron would have the decency to show his face around here and let some of us know he's not dead in a ditch somewhere.” 

“Yeah, about that…” Vic begins and that's when Aaron goes down the stairs much faster than before, Robert keeping up with him easily. “Aaron is…” Vic stops talking at the sight of Aaron standing in the doorway, Robert by his side. There's a clattering of silverware against glass. Robert looks at Adam, mouth hanging open stupidly at the sight of Aaron. 

“You’re here,” Adam points out the obvious as his eyes rake over Aaron, taking stock of the injuries that are visible. Robert sees the muscles in Aaron's throat work hard as he swallows, eyes flitting around nervously. “What's happened to you?” Adam asks but the way he says it, it's like he already knows. 

Adam looks down, thinking hard about that conversation with Brandon a year ago. He thinks about each second of it, realisation dawning on him and suddenly a sickening feeling welled up in him. He believed someone he barely knew over his best mate, one of the most important people in Adam's life. He can't even look at Aaron. “How long?” 

“Maybe we could save that for later,” Robert suggests at the scared look on Aaron's face. “How about you finish what you were saying about Brandon and the call. Vic will you get Aaron something to eat?” 

“Of course,” Vic turns around and starts warming up leftovers for Aaron. 

Adam clears his throat picking up his fork but not touching his food. Instead he looks up and sees Aaron, really sees him. How bad of a condition in he's in, how… broken he looks and not just physically. “Adam,” Robert cuts through his analysis. Adam clears his throat again before nodding. 

“He said he called the police, but since all of your things were gone as well it's most likely you up and left him instead of something bad happening. Why didn't you tell me or at least your mum?” 

Aaron shrugged before sitting down at the table from across Adam. “Didn't want to bother you.” 

“Bother me?” Adam said incredulously. “Calling me at three in the morning for a beer run into town is a bother, calling me to say your husband's beating on you isn't!” 

“I'm sorry,” Aaron whispers dejectedly. 

“Don't be sorry,” Adam says kindly. “You have nothing to be sorry for. If anyone should say sorry it's me. I should've never believed him. I let you down, especially after all you've done for me.” 

“I didn't know what to do,” Aaron whispers, voice breaking and biting into his lip as he fights back tears. “I figured it was better if I wasn't around. I didn't have to involve anyone in my drama.”

“Aaron,” Adam gets up and moves around table, crouching down in front of Aaron. “I always want to be involved in your drama. You're my best mate.” 

“I'm sure you found a new best mate,” and if Robert could hear the hopefulness in Aaron's voice then he was sure Adam could. He holds his breath, afraid Adam is going to say something stupid that will hurt Aaron more. 

“Not one that's also my brother,” Adam says sincerely. Oh good, Robert doesn't have to kill Adam, he's not sure Vic would ever forgive him. Aaron's smile is small and watery but it's there. 

“Stupid boys,” Vic mutters, wiping at her eyes from across the room. “Here,” she carried Aaron's plate of food over to him, setting it down harder than necessary. “You two eat and catch up.” 

“That sounds like a good idea,” Robert interjects. “I'm actually gonna head upstairs to shower and grab of few things out of my room so I don't have to bother you in the morning Aaron.” 

Aaron nods, looking nervous but not as sad. Robert catches Vic's eye and discreetly gestures for her to follow him out of the kitchen. “What?” She asks when Robert deems them far enough away from the kitchen to not be overheard. 

“I found this in Aaron's bag,” he pulls the razor out of his pocket to show her. He doesn't miss the way Vic sucks in a sharp breath, suddenly looking more worried than before. “I know it wasn't my place to take it, but with everything Aaron's gone through - the emotional abuse alone - I didn't think it a good idea to leave this in Aaron's care incase he couldn't cope.”

“Aaron's never been good at coping,” Vic says seriously. “You made the right choice, but I don't think he was keeping that around to commit suicide.” 

“How would you know?” Vic looks behind her to make sure no one was going to sneak up on them. She could barely make out Aaron and Adam's voices in the kitchen. 

“Aaron has a problem with self harm. He got help for it once before, but after everything he's been through it honestly doesn't surprise me he'd resort to this. It's his way of coping.” 

“So I made the right choice,” Robert said. The razor was definitely finding its way into the nearest bin. “If he wants to hurt himself, I'm sure he'll find a way even without this razor. So-” 

“We need to keep an eye on him,” Vic finished for him. “Don't worry, Robert. Adam and I will watch out for Aaron when you can't. You can count on us.” 

“Thanks,” Robert said gratefully. Maybe I can convince him to see a therapist soon.” 

“I hope you can,” Vic said before leaving Robert in the hallway, razor still clutched in his hand and preparing himself for what he can only assume, is going to be a very long, stubborn battle of wills.


	14. Adam and Paddy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam upset Aaron and Aaron runs into a familiar face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh! I do not like these chapters. I want to get to certain point and I feel like all this talking is repetitive. I have to push through a few more before I can get where I want and then it will be easier to write it again.

“Why didn't you ask for help?” Adam asked, “and don't tell me it was because you didn't want me in your drama.” Aaron looked down at his half eaten plate of food, shame and embarrassment welling up in his gut. The last thing he wants is to hurt Adam's feelings, and he's afraid if he confessed the truth to him, he'll do just that. Robert was still upstairs showering, and Vic had adjourned to the living room, giving Aaron and Adam some privacy to talk. Aaron kinda wishes Robert was here with him right now to divert any awkward questions Aaron doesn't want to answer. “You know you can talk to me, right?” Adam presses. 

“I know,” Aaron says a little sadly. “It's just complicated and hard to talk about it all. I don't think I'm ready yet. How about you tell me what I've missed since being gone.” 

Adam sighs but doesn't push it and fills Aaron in on everything that's happened. He tells Aaron about him and Vic marrying, cheating on her with Vanessa in a moment of weakness. Adam fights back tears when he talks about Holly and how she died. “Mum chucked Cain out, her and Holly were doing well on their own, but I guess Holly just his her use well from us. Mum's the one who found her.” 

“I'm so sorry, mate.” Adam nods and tries out a smile but it flops. He talks about James and how he died not long after Holly. Aaron eventually has the courage to ask about his mum. 

“She's good,” Adam promises. “Lonely maybe. After Diane decided to sell up, Charity bought into the pub. Her and Chas are always kicking off about something. She really misses you.” 

“I miss her, but after what I said to her… she can't want to see me.” 

“You're wrong,” Adam says. “She's your mum and she loves you. At first she was angry, then got really sad. Chas will wanna see you.”

“How's Paddy?” Aaron asks to change the subject. Adam looks like he might try and press the subject of Chas but sighs and lets it go. 

“He cheated on Rhona, she dumped him and the divorce finalised not long ago.” Aaron didn't say it out loud, but he felt disappointment in his pseudo father for doing that to Rhona. “Paddy and your mum actually tried to work things out between them but Chas decided it was better they stay friends. You should see Leo, though. He's so big.” 

Aaron's heart ached. He hadn't been around much before because he'd fled to France, coming back meant he could've spent more time with his godson. Instead he fell for Brandon and ended up missing another two years of his life. Adam fills him in on a few more things, Ashley's death, Belle's mental health problems, Diane's cancer returning and her going through treatments. “Tell me something about you?” Adam asks when he's done talking. “Nothing serious, just something.” 

Aaron mulls the question over before biting his bottom lip and shaking his head. “I have nothing, at least nothing I can remember.” 

“What about a job or mates, anything.” 

“I don't - I don't have any of that,” Aaron whispers. “Brandon wouldn't let me work and I wasn't allowed to have mates unless they were his and most of his are arseholes I don't like.” 

“I don't get it,” Adam simply says. “I know you, and I know you wouldn't take that kind of shit from someone. Why did you stay with him, Aaron?” 

“Because I love him,” Aaron shrugs, “at least a part of me does. I remember what it was like at first, and sometimes I still see that man through his anger. It's hard to get away when he's all I know. I just want… I want Brandon to be the man he used to be.” 

“And what, you think if he beats you enough - or kills you - that'll change who he is? Aaron he's not going to change. Men like him don't!” 

“You don't know!” Aaron shouts heatedly, anger suddenly surging through him. “I could change him!” 

“It's been two years, if you haven't changed him yet, then it's probably not gonna happen!” 

“He could! I could be strong enough to make him stop!” 

“Yeah, well why don't you look in the mirror and see if you can say that again!” 

Aaron shoved back from the table, throwing his fork down so it clattered across the table and fell onto the floor. “You don't know anything! You know nothing about my marriage and you have no right to pass judgement! Brandon is my husband and it isn't so easy to give up after two years of being together!” 

Aaron ignored Adam's appeasing apologies and storms out, running up the stairs and passing angrily by Robert. “Woah, what's happened?” 

“Nothing,” Aaron's snaps. “Just leave me alone!” He slams the door to Robert's room, going straight for his bag. He digs around in his bag of toiletries, looking for the razor he know he packed but after searching - even going as far to dump the contents out on his bed - he can't find it. He feels like screaming or maybe putting his fist through a wall. He feels Adam has no right to pass judgement, he wasn't there, he doesn't know what's been happening in the past two years to Aaron. Brandon _is_ his husband. It's not like he can walk away so easily, they're married. 

Through Aaron's angry breathing he hears raised voices downstairs. He cracks the door to the room to listen in. 

“I’M JUST TRYING TO UNDERSTAND WHY HE DIDN'T LEAVE THAT ABUSIVE BASTARD!” Adam shouts. 

“AND AARON WILL TELL YOU WHEN HE'S READY! YOU PUSHING HIM WILL ONLY PUSH AARON BACK INTO BRANDON'S ARMS!” Robert screams back. Aaron closes the door quickly, not wanting to listen to any of it. He's hates screaming, has had enough of it to last him a lifetime. The yelling makes him feel even more caged. 

The rooms to small, air stale and he just wants out. He puts his shoes on and goes downstairs, heading for the door. “Aaron?” Robert calls out at he catches him. “Where are you going?” 

“Out,” Aaron grunt, trying to leave again. 

“I'll come with you.” Robert steps his way towards but Aaron doesn't want company. 

“I want to be alone,” he doesn't wait for Robert and storms out, walking quickly up the path and down the street away from the cottage. He makes it past David's and Bob's, both places looking the same as they did two years ago. It's cold tonight and Aaron's glad he has his hoodie, pulling the hood uptight around his head and shoving his hands deep into the pockets. 

He walks through the village, the night sky overhead lit up with stars and the moon is full tonight. “Aaron?” _Shit,_ he thinks harshly. He knows that voice even after not having heard it in nearly two years. He doesn't turn around to face Paddy, wondering if he should just keep walking like he hadn't heard him. “I know that's you, Aaron.” 

He slowly turns around, trying to curl in on himself to make him look smaller. It's something he does with Brandon when he knows he's angry, as if by making himself seem smaller he's less of a threat. Paddy's eyes rake over him slowly, taking Aaron in before settling on his face. His framed eyes show worry and frustration. “What's happened to you. Where have you been? Are you in trouble again?” 

“Hi Paddy,” Aaron says lamely. 

“Nearly two years and all I get is “hi Paddy?” That look on Paddy's face is familiar, one that reminds Aaron of when he was seventeen and living with the man. “How about you explain where you've been? Why you haven't bothered to call or come home, leaving us all worried about you? Do you know what you've put Chas through?” Guilt and shame clutch at Aaron, threatening to make him bolt. “Are you staying somewhere in the village?” 

“With Vic and Adam,” Aaron admits. “Paddy…. I wanted to come home, I just didn't know how.” 

“What do you mean?” 

Aaron bites his lip, thinking back at seventeen and how Paddy had helped him so much, took him in and cared for him like Aaron was his own son even though Aaron never felt he deserved it. Paddy's always been there, someone he could talk to without fearing judgment. “He wouldn't let me come home.” 

“Who? Brandon?” Aaron nods, tears starting again and before he knows it, Paddy's got him a hug, too tight because it makes his ribs hurt but he doesn't mind. It's been a long time since someone hugged him like this, he hadn't wanted Adam to touch him, but with Paddy it felt neutral, comforting, like coming home after a long holiday away. 

“He's mean,” Aaron chokes out against Paddy's shoulder. “He wasn't like that at first, you met him and liked him, but he changed, Paddy. He started hurting me and… and I got so scared. I didn't know what to do.” 

“Did he do that to your face?” Aaron pulled back, gingerly wiping his tears away and nodded quickly before looking at the ground in shame. He hated the way he looked, like it was a giant sign stapled above his head screaming, “MY HUSBAND BEATS ME!”

“It's not as bad as it's been in the past,” Aaron admits quietly. 

“You've left him though, right?” He's left, not Brandon, just left but he doesn't know how to explain that to Paddy without him starting to shout the same way Adam had. So he nods instead of giving a truthful answer. “Good. That's really good, Aaron. Have you seen your mum?” 

Aaron shakes his head quickly, “I'm not ready to.” Instead of pressing the issue, Paddy nods and pulls Aaron back in for another hug. “Do you want to come 'round mine for a bit? Have a cuppa and talk?” 

“Yeah, I'd like that.” They set off together, making their way to Paddy's. Paddy doesn't ask him any questions on the way there, but keeps throwing worried glances in Aaron's direction that Aaron pointedly ignores. “The flats small,” Paddy informs him as they walk in. “Rhona and I, we split up.” 

“I heard,” Aaron says and walks in past Paddy. “I'm sorry.” 

“My own fault,” Paddy said sadly. “Go in through there and make yourself at home.” Aaron did, settling down on Paddy's secondhand sofa. He listened as Paddy puttered around the kitchen. The sitting room was small, cramped with the sofa, table and two mismatched armchairs. A few pictures hung on the wall, one of Paddy and Rhona on their wedding day - that was hard for Aaron to look at and wondered how awkward it was for others who came over and saw it. There was one of Chas, Paddy and Marlon and even one of Aaron from when he was seventeen. There was more than one photo of a blonde haired little boy, and it was easy to recognise Leo. He smiled to himself at the sight of leo sitting on Paddy's lap in the pub. 

“I need an up to date one of you to put up,” Paddy said from behind Aaron, who hadn't heard Paddy come in causing Aaron to jump like a gunshot had went off instead of someone speaking pleasantly behind him. “But maybe it would be best to wait until your face… er…. Anyway, I put a splash of milk and two sugars in yours. Just the way you like it.” Paddy set down a mug in front of Aaron before sitting on the other side of the sofa with his own mug. 

The hot tea felt good, warming him from the inside out. “Do you miss her?” 

Paddy looks over at the photo of him and Rhona, eyes dampening in sadness. “Yeah I do. I don't think she misses me though. But I can't blame her, after what I did.”

“Adam told me you and mum tried giving it a go again.”

“If you call having sex and then her changing her mind giving it a go, then sure.” Aaron made an unpleasant face, last thing he needed was to think about is Paddy and his mum having sex. He visibly shuddered but Paddy passed it off on the hot tea. “When you're ready, you can tell me anything.” 

“I don't know where to begin,” Aaron said honestly. “He's my husband, and a part of me loves him but I don't know if I can keep doing it if he's never going to change.” 

“I guess you have to ask yourself if this unknowable change is really worth taking the abuse while waiting around for something that might never happen.” Paddy doesn't push or force him to answer, let's Aaron sit there in silence to contemplate Paddy's words. 

He doesn't know if Brandon will change, if he's even capable of changing. Brandon is supposed to be on medication to help with his OCPD, never in the time he's known Brandon has his husband ever taken any medication for his mental illness. OCPD is control, in every aspect of Brandon's life and by default Aaron. There's also his anger issues, his drinking, his cheating and lying and manipulation. The abuse - it's gone on too long but Aaron doesn't know how to stop it so him and Brandon can get back to what they were and start over. He'd like to start over. 

“I don't know, Paddy. I just want my husband to be what he promised me he'd be. I don't want to be scared anymore.” Paddy squeezes his shoulder once before letting go. “But I don't think he'll ever change. It's been going on so long, he always makes these promises to me but he never keeps them.” 

“That's not your fault,” Aaron jerks his head up to look at Paddy, those wise eyes understanding Aaron better than Aaron does himself, because that's exactly what Aaron was thinking. It's his fault Brandon doesn't change. He pushes to much and makes things hard on Brandon. If he was better… well then maybe Brandon could change. “Whatever it is that makes Brandon that way has nothing to do with you. It's his own personal demons, and I think you can understand what it's like to have personal demons.” 

“Are you saying I should go back?” 

“Oh God no!” Paddy says quickly, spilling a splash of tea down his front. “You made the right choice by leaving him. I know you're probably thinking that maybe it wasn't, but if you'd stayed he'd just keep hurting you.” 

“I remember when you met Brandon,” Aaron says to change the topic. “Did you ever think he was…” 

“No. I would've said something if I did. I wish I had, though.” _Me too,_ Aaron thinks bitterly. “Do you want to talk about it, the abuse? I know it will be hard, but you might feel better if you do.” 

“I wouldn't know how to begin to describe it, Paddy.” 

“Okay…” Paddy says hesitantly. “He hits you, right? At least your face says he does.” 

“Thanks, Paddy.” Aaron sneers. 

“I don't mean to sound harsh, but he does hit you, right?” 

“Yeah, Paddy. He hits me. My own husband beats me!” 

“You don't need to get upset, alright. I'm just asking. How often does it happen. Everyday, once a week, every few months?” 

“I don't know. I didn't exactly mark in a calendar the days my husband decided to smack me around. A few times a week, maybe.” 

“How bad does the abuse get. Does he just hit you, scream at you or does he do other things. Lock you up, starve you, make you do things you don't want. Does he… does he force you into situations you don't want...sexually?” 

Aaron tried not to go tense. Yes, sometimes Aaron doesn't want sex but he's Brandon's husband. It isn't it his job to have sex with Brandon? If he wanted to stop it, couldn't he? “No, he doesn't force me sexually.”

It sounds hollow to Aaron but obviously good enough for Paddy at the way his shoulders relax some. “He doesn't keep me locked up, I mean I can't have a job - he likes me being at home and taking care of it. He gives me money for shopping, like an allowance of sorts.” Once Aaron starts, he can't seem to stop and lists more ways Brandon controls him. “He took my phone away and sold my car but he let's me use his. He doesn't deny me anything, if I ask for something he always brings it home but makes a big fuss about it, like it's some great hindrance to stop on his way home. I'm not… I'm not allowed to have mates or look at other men - even in glancing - or he accuses me of cheating. Which is ironic because he has some nineteen year old twink he parades around town like I don't know about it.” 

“When did all of it start?” Paddy asks after a bout of silence as he mulls over everything Aaron told him.

“After we were married,” Aaron admits. “Little things at first, fighting and his lashing out and saying horrible things to me. I thought at first he might've thought he'd made a mistake marrying me and was just unhappy. But he'd always apologise and beg me to stay, saying he'd change. It got worse and then he started hitting me. I tried to leave, but he - he'd cry and beg me not to go. After a while the apologies and begging stopped, he knew I wasn't going to leave. I had nowhere to go.” 

“Aaron, you had everywhere - anywhere to go. The village is your home and I or your mum or any other of your family would've taken you in.” Shame wells up in Aaron and he can't look at Paddy. 

“I thought none of you wanted me,” Aaron admits lowly. “After Brandon came to the village and told everyone those lies about me - the cheating, me abusing him and the HIV - and you all believed him. I figured you were better off without me.” 

“We wanted to hear it from you,” Paddy says. “We wanted to know what was happening, why it was happening and you cut us all off. We didn't know, Aaron.” 

“I know,” Aaron whispers. “I'm sorry, Paddy.” 

“You have nothing to be sorry for. We should be sorry, were the ones who should feel ashamed.” 

“I don't know what do anymore, Paddy.” 

“Have you been self harming?” Aaron sits up straight, instantly going on the defense. “Aaron?” 

“I try… What does that have to with anything?” 

“Being in a situation like you've been in for the past two years, it only seems plausible you'd start again. Are you?” 

“I-I - Paddy, I don't want to talk about this!” Aaron's stands up and heads for the door. “Thanks for the tea.” 

“Aaron, wait!” Paddy shouts after him but Aaron's out the door and running away again. He walks swiftly back to Keeper's, hoping they've all gone to bed. The lights are off, so that's a good sign. They kept the door unlocked, and quietly Aaron goes inside, trying to shut the door silently behind him. 

“You're back,” Aaron jumps and turns around, grabbing at his chest where it feels like his heart might beat right out of it. 

“Jesus you should have a bell!” Robert smirks but it doesn't last long, his face going serious. “Where did you go?” 

“For a walk, like I said.” 

Robert nods before looking away from Aaron. “Adam's sorry for how he reacted. He didn't didn't mean to upset you.” 

“I know,” and Aaron did. It can't be easy for anyone right now. _They all just want to help._ Aaron reminds himself. “I'm gonna go up and sleep. Goodnight, Robert.” 

“Goodnight, Aaron.” Robert's still standing at the bottom of the stairs, watching Aaron, his face laced with worry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for mistakes, I half asses edited this. Here's to hoping for another chapter next week!


	15. Chas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron reconnects with his mum, Cain makes him an offer, and Aaron has some hard choices to make.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at that, two chapters in two days? What? No? Yes! 
> 
> I had some more time this weekend and pushed through it. I wanted to space it out a bit more but was ready to move along to where I want the story to go.

Aaron was awoken by stomping up and down the hall, whoever was outside with their heavy feet banging around at an ungodly hour in the morning was about to find out what happens when you wake a grumpy man with little to no sleep. Aaron had been awake most of the night, too many dark thoughts running around his head, keeping sleep at Bay. 

“Vic, have you seen that new high-vis I ordered. It came in the mail two days ago!” It was Adam and it seemed he was shouting right outside Aaron's door. Did Robert have to put up with this rubbish? 

“No I haven't, babe!” Vic sounded further away but still too loud. “Check the living room!” 

“I already did! Have you seen it Robert?” 

“No! And would you stop shouting, Aaron's sleeping!” Aaron could've kissed Robert, especially when he heard the footsteps retreating from his door. He rolled over and closed his eyes, hoping for more sleep.

A loud banging began downstairs, followed by more shouting. “AARON LIVESY, I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE! OPEN THIS DAMN DOOR!” Aaron froze at the sound of his mother screaming for him, his eyes shot open and he was out of bed like it'd just caught fire. He quickly threw on some clothes, tripping over his own trousers and falling at one point. Eventually he got dressed as the bagning on the door and Chas’ shouting began again. “AARON! PADDY TOLD ME YOU'RE STAYING HERE. YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM ME FOREVER! OPEN UP!” 

“Is someone going to open that,” Aaron asked from the top of the stairs. Adam, Vic and Robert were gathered in front of the door but none of them we're making a move towards it. 

“Are you sure? I can tell her to go away,” Robert offered. Aaron sighed. He knew he would have to see his mum eventually, especially after running into Paddy last night. He made his mind up last night while in bed that he'd go and see her today. It was earlier than he planned and he wasn't in the right headspace for it, but she was here and he knew Chas; she wasn't going away until she saw Aaron. 

“No. I have see her some point and she won't go away, anyhow. Let her in.” Robert opens the door with a fake smile on his face. 

“Morning, Chas. What do we have the honor of you gracing our doorstep so early in the morning?” Aaron rolled his eyes, imagining his mum doing the same. She shoves past Robert, telling him to get stuffed and walks in. “Where is my son?” 

“Up here,” Aaron says and begins to descend the stairs. Chas takes him in, not acting he slightest bit surprised by his face. Paddy must've told her everything. Aaron didn't know if that was better or worse. He wouldn't have to explain where he's been, but now she knew and was going to ask the harder questions Aaron isn't sure he can answer. 

He made it down the stairs, stopping in front of Chas but not meeting her eyes. Shame so great it brought tears to his eyes as he remembered their last conversation. It had been screaming - on Aaron's part - over the phone as Aaron called her every nasty thing he could think of before ending it all with calling her a terrible mum and saying he never wanted to see her again. He flinches as Chas raises her hand to his face, expecting a sharp slap but instead is greeted with her warm hand cupping lightly at his cheek and stroking the skin with her thumb. 

“I always lose you, y'know. I left you when you were a kid, and chose someone else over you when I got you back, and then again when you went to France with Ed. I'm so tired of losing you, Aaron.” Aaron thinks about the drastic measures Chas almost went though to keep Aaron after he got back from France and was planning to take off again. She'd been willing to call the police and turn him in herself just to keep him around. “I thought if you marrying Brandon meant I'd get to keep you in my life, you two would move to the village or at least you'd come here all the time. He was someone who'd finally keep you at home and you'd stop running. I should've known when you stopped coming home.” 

“Mum,” Aaron chokes out but that's all and then Chas is hugging him, holding him tight the same way Paddy had but it was different. Felt different. This is his mum, they haven't had the best relationship but over the years they'd worked at it, became mother and son instead of an estranged mum who abandoned her son. 

“My little boy,” she whispers against his shoulder and then Aaron starts crying. At some point, Vic, Adam and Robert had slipped out of the room to give Chas and Aaron privacy. Aaron found he was glad for it. After a few minutes of hugging, Chas pulled back, still holding onto Aaron's arms and really looked at him. “Are you pressing charges?” 

“No,” Aaron says honestly. “It'll do no good. Brandon… I don't want to put him prison. I just want it to be over.” 

“Then you start divorce proceedings. We'll get you a solicitor. ROBERT!” Aaron jumped at her shout, calming when Chas smiled soothingly at him. 

“Yes?” Robert asks as he walks into the room. “Is everything alright?” 

“You can be Aaron's solicitor for his divorce, right?” 

Robert looks at Aaron who steadily staring at the grains of the wooden floor. “Er well…” 

“What? Afraid it will jeopardise your precious career?” 

“Mum,” Aaron says, it comes out more as a whine, the only way a son can sound when he feels his mum is trying to embarrass him. 

“Of course not. I'll take Aaron's case, but only if he asks me to.” Aaron looks up and finally meets Robert's eye, and the blonde man greets him with a hesitant smile. “Have you even asked what Aaron wants.” 

“Aaron's standing right here,” Aaron reminds them. 

“It's not like he's going to stay with a man who beats him up,” Chas snaps at Robert causing Aaron to flinch. 

“It's still his choice,” Robert growls back. 

“Right. Real saint you. Find out a blokes getting beat up and you stand by. Tell me, what if Aaron was a woman?” 

“Excuse me? I'll have you know I'm the one who got Aaron out of there in the first place. Just because he's a man doesn't mean he doesn't deserve human decency!” Chas is taken aback, eyes widening in surprise. 

“You got my son away from Brandon?” Chas looks at Aaron to confirm this, and Aaron gives a quick jerk of his head. “Oh. Well. Thanks, I guess.” 

“Please, don't hold back.” Robert's bites out sarcastically. “If Aaron wants me to represent him, then I will, but not unless he asks me himself.” Robert doesn't wait around, leaving the room so it's only Chas and Aaron.

“You should apologise to him,” Aaron reprimands her. “He's done a lot for me.” 

“Yeah, well,” but she doesn't say anything to follow up with that. “Are you going to ask Robert to be your solicitor. Or we could find someone else.” 

“Mum…” 

“Rakesh, well he's not exactly someone you want to tangle with right now. I could ask Rhona who she used for her divorce against Paddy.” 

“Mum,” Aaron says a bit more forcefully but Chas ignores him. 

“I'd rather you go to the police. He shouldn't get away with what he's done to you, but at least you can divorce him. Take half of what he has. I know it's not much compensation for what he's put you through, but he owes you!” 

“Mum!” Aaron shouts. “I'm not divorcing Brandon!” 

“What do you mean you're not divorcing him! You can't stay with him!” 

“It's my choice,” Aaron growls. “I don't know what I want yet. I just left him, haven't even spoken to him. I need time to sorts things out in my head and you planning out my life for me isn't helping!” 

“But I am trying to help! It's not like I've bothered in the past two years. I let you marry a man who beats you and I let him manipulate me into believing it was you abusing him! God you must hate me.” 

“I don't hate you,” Aaron admits. “I married Brandon, I'm the one who stayed through it all. If anything you should hate me, especially after those horrible things I said to you.” 

“Well you weren't wrong. I know I messed up with you and I abandoned you more than once. I'm a shit mum, just like you said.” 

“No,” Aaron insisted. “Those things I said, I didn't mean them. I just - I knew what to say to keep you away. I didn't want you seeing me because… I'm so ashamed mum.” He whispered the last part sadly. 

“Ashamed?” She asked, like the word completely fathomed her. 

“All those things Brandon did, I let it happen. I could've stopped it, got away, but after a while I just stopped trying. I didn't have it in me anymore, and the shame I felt for giving up and from what I said you, and that you believed I was capable…” 

“I didn't believe Brandon,” Chas said softly. “It's why I called. I needed to hear it from you, to prove Brandon wrong, but when you went off on me, I - I didn't know what to believe after that.” 

“You didn't believe him?” 

“'Course not. I know you, Aaron. You might have issues but you're not a violent man. You've never hurt people just to hurt them.” Aaron's throat went tight, not knowing what to say. She hadn't believed Brandon and tried to find the truth and instead Aaron had turned on her and hurt her instead. He felt miserable. 

“I'm - mum, I'm just so sorry.” Chas is hugging him again, arms tight around his neck as they hold onto each other. “I don't know what to do,” Aaron admits brokenly. “He's my husband, and I sort of still love him, but I'm terrified of what he might do to me.” 

“Oh, love.” Chas started, patting his back soothingly. “He might be your husband on paper, but has he ever really been a _husband?_ Marriage isn't keeping your partner terrified and beaten down. You have to ask yourself, does he make you happy at all?” 

Aaron really thinks about that. Once Aaron had been happy with Brandon, thrilled to have someone like Brandon, but now, now he's terrified of Brandon even coming home. It all depends on how you define happiness. Sure, Brandon can still make Aaron laugh sometimes and can even surprise him when they're having one of their “good weeks” but is that enough? Shouldn't he be happy all the time, not in sporadic moments when Brandon decides to try and make Aaron happy? He wants a happy life, and he wants it with Brandon, but Aaron isn't sure if that's in cards for him anymore. But what if… what if Brandon could change, become the man Aaron longs for him to be? Aaron could be happy with him if Brandon was willing to change.

“I don't know,” Aaron was beginning to feel like that was becoming his catchphrase. “I'm not sure right now, but maybe one day.” 

“With Brandon?” 

“Maybe.”

“Can you really forgive him? I'm assuming the way your face looks that this isn't the worst of it,” Chas touches his cheek, not applying pressure as not to hurt him. “Think of the worst thing he's ever done and ask yourself, can you forgive him for it?”

The worst thing Brandon ever did to him…. Last Christmas. No physical violence happened, it was a nice day until they'd exchanged gifts. Brandon had gotten Aaron a 24 karat gold watch with diamonds embedded around face. It was gorgeous, Aaron's still wearing it. 

Aaron had spent months wracking his brain for what to get Brandon, material gifts were always exchanged between them but this year he wanted to give something from the heart. He'd taken photos from their wedding, honeymoon and others throughout the year. When he'd been making the photo album he'd become a little disheartened to find that there were barely any to put in after they'd been married. The album had been slots to add pictures to show a couples growth through their time together and as you flipped closer to the back it added slots for family. A place for a picture of a baby, a family photo, and so on and so on. 

Aaron had slipped the adoption pamphlets in between the pages for a baby's picture and family's first picture. 

When he'd given it to Brandon, he hadn't seemed as thrilled as Aaron wanted him to be but he's smiled and gone through each page, admiring the photos and making comments here and there. When he'd found the adoption pamphlets, Brandon had held them up, surprise clear on his face. 

“What are these?” Brandon had asked.

“I know it's only been a year since we've been married, but I thought maybe we could talk about it. Adopting.” Aaron had waited, trying to keep his breathing even as he watches Brandon slip the pamphlets back into the photo album and set it on their table. 

“Aaron, I don't want children.” They hadn't talked about it before, not even before they'd gotten married. It shouldn't hurt because Brandon hadn't made any promises of having kids one day, but it had. Still does when Aaron thinks he'll never get to be a dad. “And even if I did, I wouldn't want one with you.” 

Brandon hadn't said it coldly, it was more like stating an obvious fact. 

“W-What?” Aaron had stuttered, suddenly feeling like someone had plunged an icicle into his heart. 

“Well you're not exactly fit to raise a kid are you?” Aaron had sat there gobsmacked, gaping at his husband's cruel words, spoken as if it had been written down somewhere that Aaron would be an unfit father. “I mean, you spend all your time cutting yourself, how would ever find the time to stop to take care of a kid.” 

Aaron flinched, feeling bile rise up in his throat. It was the one and only time Brandon had addressed Aaron's self harming, and he'd made into some sick, cruel joke. “I could get help…” Aaron had whispered heartbrokenly. “I could see a counselor.” 

“And then what?” Brandon had asked seriously. “Just because you stop cutting yourself doesn't mean you should have a kid, Aaron. After all, sometimes the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.” 

“I'd never leave my kid like my mum did me,” Aaron had growled, suddenly angry. Brandon had looked pityingly at Aaron before shaking his head. His eyes had flashed for a moment, cruelness seeping in before he'd blinked and Brandon eyes returned to pitying sadness. 

“I wasn't talking about your mum.” Aaron had gone tense all over, eyes widening in horror and his mouth open and closed, no sound coming out, having no idea what to say to that. “You have to understand, what you dad did to you… sometimes it passes onto their child. I wouldn't be able to trust you with our child.” 

“It wasn't passed onto me,” Aaron cried, tears leaking out of his eyes. “It was forced on me!” 

“Even so, who knows what kind of damage that left behind. He was capable of it, so maybe you are as well.” Aaron wanted to be sick, hearing this. There is no way he'd ever do that to a kid, especially his own. He'd love his child with everything he had, the right kind of love you're supposed to give to a kid. He'd never…

“It doesn't matter though, I don't want children so we never have to worry about it.” Aaron had cried the rest of that day, locked in their bedroom while Brandon did whatever. The next day, Aaron found the adoption pamphlets in the bin. He'd left them there. 

Aaron was sobbing into his mum's shoulder, remembering that was horrible. He did his best to never think of it. When he did, he hurts himself. “No,” he finally sobbed out. “I can't forgive him that.” It wasn't that Brandon didn't want children, Aaron could've lived with that. It was knowing that his own husband thought he could rape a child the same way his dad had raped him. 

“Do you want to tell me about it,” Chas offered. Aaron jerked away from her suddenly, wiping at his face and feeling like he was shutting down inside. 

“No,” it came harsher than Aaron intended. “I never want to talk about it.” 

“Okay,” Chas agreed, not pushing. “I have to ask, how can you stay in a marriage where your husband has done something so awful to you that you can't even forgive him for it?” 

“I-I…. I can't talk about this anymore, mum.” Aaron said tiredly, shoulders suddenly dropping and he felt like he might fall over. He was exhausted. “I don't have it in me.” 

“When you're ready then,” Chas offered. Chas grabbed at his hand suddenly, pulling on it like she was she trying to draw him back into a hug, but instead grabbed at his shirt sleeve with her other hand and roughly pushed it up. She gripped tight and flipped his arm over to look at the inside of it. Aaron jerked back quickly, but she'd already seen. 

“When did you start, did you even ever stop?” The jagged scars on his wrists, horizontally across, layered over one another burned in his mind even though he'd covered them back. Shame engulfed Aaron again. 

“I did. I did stop, it's just… I don't know how to explain it and most days I feel like I can't stop.” 

“How bad?” Aaron couldn't look at her, afraid he'd see judgment or disappointment. He was sick of disappointing everyone. When Aaron doesn't say anything, Chas takes that as her answer. It's bad. 

They were interrupted then by Victoria. “I have some bacon sarnies waiting for you. Chas I've made enough if you want to join.” 

“Thanks,” Aaron mumbles, still not looking at Chas. “I'm not really hungry, though.” 

“I'm good, Vic.” She nodded and left them but Robert was coming in as Vic walked out. 

“I'm headed out,” he told Aaron. “Work.” 

“Brandon…” 

“Won't hear a word from me,” Robert promised. “I'll try and take off early, move some meetings around. I'll see you tonight.” 

“Alright,” Aaron nodded but he felt anxious. Robert was like his barrier, could be there to stop conversations from getting out of control and overwhelming Aaron. Of course he couldn't ask Robert to blow off work just for him. Robert has his own life to tend to.” 

“Why don't you come to the pub,” Chas offered. “I'll be working but you can sit at the bar, we can catch up some more and you can have all the free drinks you want.” 

“I-I don't know…” The pub was always busy, people coming and going. Aaron doesn't like big crowds and he's sure people would be coming up to him all day asking questions. 

“Come in,” Chas begs. “I'll ply you with food too, and keep everyone else away from you. If they try to give you a hard time, I'll bar 'em.” 

Aaron bites his bottom lip until Chas begs him with a please and Aaron caves. Robert leaves before them and soon after so does Adam. Vic promises not to be late for her lunch shift before Chas and Aaron leave, heading across the street to the pub. Chas’ fingers brush against Aaron's and she takes the leap, grabbing hold of her son's hand and squeezing before letting go. 

The pub looked the same, the smell of food already wafting from the kitchens and Aaron wonders if Marlon is back there. Aaron keeps his head low, no one is in yet but he still feels awkward. “There you are! You left this morning in such a hurry and left me to bring in this morning's order. I broke a nail!” 

“Charity,” Chas says tiredly. “It'll grow back. Besides, I had something important to take care of.” She jerked her head in Aaron's direction where he's hiding at the end of the bar. Charity looked over and gasped. 

“I can't believe you have the nerve…” 

“Shut up, Charity!” Chas practically shrieks. “Never speak to my son that way!” 

“After he,” Chas cuts her off with a glare. “Fine. So why are you back?” Aaron sighs and lifts his head, giving Charity the full view. “Jesus. You look like someone decided to use your face as a punching bag.” 

Aaron flinched as Chas shrieked, “Charity!” 

“What?” Charity demanded. 

“Shut up and go away,” Chas growled. “Leave my son alone and go make yourself useful, change the beer tap since you didn't last night!” 

“Fine. Whatever. It's like I'm your slave.” Chas rolls her eyes aggravatedly before coming over to Aaron. 

“Sorry about her but you know Charity,” Aaron nodded. He did. “Are you sure you're not hungry or do you want to start drinking right now.” 

“Isn't it a little early?” Aaron asked, even though a pint did sound good. Chas didn't even have to be told and grabbed a pint glass and started filling it. 

“I'm a firm believer in day drinking,” Chas smirked and set the glass down in front of him. 

She disappeared after that, leaving Aaron alone to drink his beer. When Charity came back, she didn't say anything to Aaron except a few offhand comments and Aaron believes Chas had something to with that. Marlon comes out as well not later, gaping at the sight off Aaron. He asks about his face but Charity orders him back to the kitchen and fills Aaron's empty glass afterwards. 

It starts to get really busy around lunch, Aaron keeping to himself and chatting with Chas when she gets the time. They don't talk about Aaron this go around, but herself as she fills him in on the past two years of her life. It makes Aaron sad, that he hadn't been there. The punters that come in that know him stare, but Chas deflects them. Lisa and Zach come in at lunch, bombarding Aaron with questions that he tries to deflect until Chas tells them to have a seat and she'll bring some drinks over. Not long after Cain comes in, dressed in overalls from the garage, with Dan behind him. 

Cain doesn't seem to notice him, but Aaron's not exactly drawing attention to himself. Chas walks over to greet him at the other side of the bar, leaning over and bending her head to whisper at him. Aaron feels his neck heat up, knowing they're talking about him. Aaron lifts his head enough to see their faces and makes eye contact with Cain. Aaron's not sure because he looked back down right after but Cain looked angry with him. Of course Cain’s resting face is anger.

They whispered to each other for a bit before Cain makes his way towards Aaron. He fiddles with his pint glass, hands shaking slightly and doesn't wait for Cain to say anything. “Go on, say it, 'I told you so.’”

Instead, Cain rests his hand on Aaron's shoulder and squeezes until Aaron looks up at him. Eyes earnest with anger underlying in them. “You want me to take care of him?” 

Aaron snorts but it's not funny. “That's what this family does best right? Something or someone upsets us we just have it “taken care of.” It's not that simple.” 

“Why not?” 

“Because he's my husband.” 

“He's your abuser,” Cain says simply before letting go of Aaron's shoulder and walking away. Aaron's watches him before setting his empty glass down, he's had three now, and goes to the bog. 

He splashes some water in his face, trying to calm his breathing. He doesn't want Cain to “take care” of Brandon. It wouldn't change anything except cain gets grassed up and Aaron feels guilty. After getting his breathing under control, Aaron goes back and Chas has refilled his pint. 

“So I was thinking,” Chas said sometime later. “Vic's place is pretty small, and I saw the duvet on the sofa so I'm assuming Robert's kipping on it.” 

“Yeah, so?” 

“Well I was thinking, that maybe, you might want to move back here. Your room's still free and I know I'd love to have you back here.” 

“I don't know, mum,” Aaron says awkwardly. “I don't even know what I'm doing yet.” 

“You can figure that out here. Besides, it's not really fair to have Robert sleeping on a sofa when you have a perfectly good room here.” She always knew how to lay on the guilt trip. 

“I'm not saying no, but let me think about it.” Chas gripped his hand with a small smile before letting go to serve Nicola and Laurel. 

Robert came in around three. Aaron hadn't been paying attention this morning, but now that he looked, Robert was wearing a suit that clung. Dark gray trousers and jacket with a pink shirt and tie underneath. Aaron hasn't looked at another man or even wanted to in forever because of Brandon, but he can't deny how sexy Robert looks. It makes his stomach flutter but he passes it off in being tipsy from the many pints he's had. 

“Pint, Chas?” He calls out at he passes and goes right to Aaron. “Hi. You okay?” 

“A bit drunk, but yeah I'm fine.” Robert nods and reaches into his pocket, pulling out something small and silver. 

“I got you this,” he hands it over to Aaron. It's a mobile phone, one of those old ones from the early 2000s where you have to click the same key a bunch of time to spell out “hello”. “It's prepaid and for emergencies. I remember you told me Brandon took yours.” 

“You shouldn't have,” Aaron says, feeling guilty that Robert spent money on him. Robert waves him off. 

“It was cheap,” he shrugs. “Besides, you need one. Promise me you'll keep it on you at all times, just in case.” Aaron frowns but nods, not wanting to argue. 

“D-Did you,” he swallows hard and looks down at the bar top, “did you see Brandon?” 

“Yes. I think he's suspicious of me coming to you. He has no proof, though. I didn't say anything.” 

“Okay,” Aaron nods. “How did he look?” 

Robert shrugs, “Same as always.” Aaron's shoulders drop, disappointment welling up. 

“Right,” Aaron whispered. 

Aaron stops drinking after his next one and Chas brings him a burger and some chips to eat. Robert doesn't leave his side but it isn't awkward. They chat a bit now and then but Robert doesn't push him. He mentions Chas inviting him to move back into the pub. Robert nods but doesn't say anything so Aaron assumes Robert's okay with it, probably because he wants his own room back. 

They're sitting there and Robert's actually able to get a chuckle out of Aaron as he tells Aaron about the stupid things he used to do as kid when living in the village, when the door to the pub opens and in walks Brandon. 

They meet eyes across the room and it's like Aaron's stomach drops out of his chest into his stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dun! 
> 
> Don't hate me. You all knew it was coming.


	16. Going Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brandon reveals a bit of his past, Aaron has doubts when promises are made and makes a decision about his future with Brandon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So so so sorry! At first I hated this chapter. So I stopped writing it and tried to rewrite it but hated that as well, so I finally decided to come back to this version and decided I actually liked it now and finished writing it. 
> 
> Really sorry for the wait and for all you who've been wondering what would happen.

It was silent for a moment, well silent around the bar. No one else really seemed to notice or care when Brandon walked into the pub except for Aaron and his family and Robert. Then shouting from Chas began. “Get out! You are not welcome here!”

Aaron sat rooted to his chair, fear or shock kept him there, he wasn't sure which. Brandon looked away to glare at Chas, taking a few steps in before Cain stepped in front of Brandon. He leaned in to whisper to Aaron's husband, whatever he was saying made Brandon's glare intensify and his hands clench into fists. 

“I want to see my husband,” Brandon said loudly and clearly. 

“Why so you can beat on him some more?” Chas asked nastily. “Mum!” Aaron scolded. 

Brandon's fists twitched like he was itching to hit something or someone, and with the way Cain was positioning himself between Brandon and his sight of Aaron, Aaron was sure who he'd be hitting. “We can leave,” Aaron started but calmed when he remembered Robert was sitting next to him, speaking lowly into his ear. “You have every right not to speak to him.” 

“Get out before I call the police!” Chas shouted. 

“Aaron,” Brandon spoke even though Cain was blocking his view. “Please talk to me?” 

“You leave my son alone!” Chas yelled. “I'm calling the police!”

“Don't!” Aaron shouted. He got up from where he was sitting and walked over to Brandon. “It's fine, Cain. I'll talk to him.”

Cain and Brandon held eyes, glaring daggers at each other before Cain sneered. “I always knew there was something wrong with you. Feel like a big man when you beat on our Aaron, do you?” 

“Your Aaron? Rich coming from a family who hasn't spoken to him in over a year,” Brandon sneered right back. 

“Stop,” Aaron snapped. “We can go into the back, Brandon.” Aaron stepped back and eventually so did Cain so Brandon could pass. Robert and Brandon glared at each other as they passed one another, and Robert grabbed onto Aaron's arm to stop him. “Don't,” Aaron snapped. “You promised me whatever choice I made, you wouldn't fight me on it.” 

“I know,” Robert said softly. “But you made promises too.” Discreetly, so no one noticed, Robert reached down and poked at the pocket of Aaron's jeans where Aaron had put the mobile phone. Aaron nodded and Robert let him go. 

Chas tried to follow them into the back, but Aaron put his foot down. “He's my husband and I can handle this alone. Just keep out of it!” Aaron felt bad about the look of hurt on Chas’ face, he would apologise later but right now he had to focus on Brandon. 

He kept distance between them in the back, standing across the room closer towards the door incase he needed to get away quickly and Brandon was on the other side near the kitchen. “You left,” Brandon said eventually. Aaron watched as his Brandon's posture relaxed, or more like sagged, the anger from earlier leaving him. “I was worried.” 

“Really?” Aaron sneered in disbelief. “You didn't seem to care when you threw me over the bannister and left me there all night, bleeding. Or how about the time you pushed me down the stairs and broke my arm, or bashed my head against the bathroom tiles and fractured my skull? You didn't seem to be worried then!” 

“I'm sorry,” Aaron scoffed, sick of hearing sorry. “I am, Aaron. Really. You don't understand,” Brandon dropped into one of the chairs at the table, resting his head in hands. He looked helpless in that moment and Aaron had to fight every instinct to go over and comfort his husband. “I know there's something wrong with me. I didn't want to admit it, but you leaving… I know I need help, and I swear I'll get it.” He looked up at Aaron, tears in his eyes, hands beseechingly held out in front of him. “I'll get help.” 

Aaron didn't know what to say. Brandon makes promises and never keeps them, but he's never promised to get help before. He just says he'll quit doing things, he's never actively gotten help. Brandon must have seen Aaron's resolve waiver because he starts talking again, his words drawing Aaron in closer until there's only a small space between them. 

“I need to be on my meds, and I'll get on them. First thing tomorrow I'll go see my doctor. I'll see a counselor for my anger and we can see a marriage counselor together. I'll even go to meetings for alcoholics to help with my drinking. I'll do whatever it takes to get you to come home. Please, Aaron. I can't be without you.”

Aaron was standing right in front of him now, biting on his bottom lip, his mind screaming at him not trust or believe but his heart aching for his husband and for those promises to become reality. “My dad was like this,” Brandon says so quietly and brokenly Aaron was sure he'd missed it. “Before my parents died in the car accident, I used to wish they would die. My dad was mean and my mum never did anything to stop him. He treated her like a queen but turned his anger on me. I swore I'd never be like him, but I am. I hate myself for it. For what I've done to you, Aaron. I love you and I've hurt you over and over. I hate myself.” He chokes out the last sentence and curls against Aaron who's now holding Brandon, one hand pressed against the back of Brandon's head and cradling it against his stomach.

“You never told me that before,” Aaron whispered, carding his fingers through Brandon's black hair. “Why didn't you? I told you everything.” 

“Shame, mostly,” and Aaron understood what shame is like and how it can control choices you make. “Admitting it, what he did, it made it more real. I was always terrified of him and now…. Now I'm just like him.” 

“You don't have to be,” Aaron said, putting a hand underneath Brandon's chin to make him look up at Aaron. “You can change, for yourself and for us. I love you, Brandon and we can make our marriage work but only if you get the help you need. I can't be in a marriage where you hurt me constantly. You scare me, Bran.” 

“I'm so sorry,” Brandon whispers. “I can make this work. I want to make it work. Please, come home.” 

Aaron stares at Brandon, looking for a lie in his eyes, any sign that he's just trying to manipulate Aaron. He's never been good at reading Brandon, never knowing when he was lying or yelling the truth, never been able to read his emotions so he could know what kind of mood Brandon's in. He can't tell whether it's more lies or truth, but he wants to have faith. In his marriage, his husband, even himself to find it in himself to forgive Brandon. 

“I want to come home,” Aaron says and the hope in Brandon's eyes at those words has Aaron's heart aching. “I will come home,” he reiterates, “but you have to make the effort and get help. If you don't, I will leave you. For good.” 

“I promise I will,” Brandon suddenly stands up, grabbing Aaron around the back of the neck and kissing him swiftly. “Where are your things, upstairs?” 

“At Vic and Adam's,” Brandon scowls before rearranging his face and smiling. “We can pick it up before we leave.” Aaron hesitated and Brandon's face fell. “You are coming home tonight right? I missed you, couldn't sleep without you.” 

“Of course I'm coming home tonight,” Aaron said, the words stilted. “It’s just dealing with mum and all of them. I don't know if they'll let me go so easily. I've really missed them.” It sounded almost like Aaron was throwing an accusation at Brandon, in a way it was Brandon's fault he hadn't seen them in so long. Aaron knew he couldn't push all the blame onto Brandon, he hadn't tried to come home after his fight with Chas. 

“They could've came to see you anytime,” _only because you couldn't stop them from doing whatever they wanted_ , Aaron thought angrily. _'Course none of them bothered anyway,_ Aaron added sadly. “They knew we lived in Hotten, just outside the village, and they didn't bother, Aaron. What's that tell you?” 

“But they…” Aaron didn't have a good reason. Sure he cut ties with them all, but that didn't stop any of them from trying to come see him or bother in any way. _They didn't care_ , Aaron didn't notice it wasn't his own voice in his head, but Brandon's. “They're still my family.” 

“Aren't I your family as well?” 

“Yes,” Aaron agreed. “But I can't just have you, I-I need them too.” 

“Fine, but don't be surprised when they disappoint you again.” 

Aaron almost can't stop himself from retaliating with, _like you always do_ , but he held his tongue. He had to give Brandon the chance to change instead of putting him down.

“You don't have to face them,” Brandon said, taking hold of Aaron's hand. “We can leave out the back way.”  


“I can't do that,” Aaron said. “My mum, she was heartbroken by everything that happened between us. I don't - can't put her through that again.” 

“She might not let you go,” Brandon said darkly. “What if she calls the police. I know I'd deserve it, but do you want that? Do you want me locked up?” 

“No,” Aaron said truthfully. “She won't do that to me. She'll have to let me go and deal with it.” 

“If this is what you want,” Brandon shrugged. “I'll go with you.” 

“Thanks,” Aaron tried a smile but it came out more as a grimace. They went back through into the bar area together, hands still linked together.

“No!” Was the first word out of Chas’ mouth as she looked at their holding hands. “Aaron, you can't seriously be going back to him! He's no good!” 

“He's my husband,” Aaron said evenly. “We're going to make this work, he's going to get help.” 

Chas scoffs and glares hatefully at Brandon. “People like him don't change, Aaron. They say they will, but never do. You can't trust him!” 

“I am and I will. This is my choice, mum!” 

“And what happens when you're wrong? Huh? What happens when next time he decides not to stop and you wind up crippled or worse dead. You can't go with him. You can stay here,” Chas pleaded, “with your family. He's not your only choice.” 

“But he is my choice,” Aaron said forcefully. “I'm going to make my marriage work,” Aaron took a step closer to Brandon, pressing his body into Brandon's. “We're going to make it work.” 

“I can report him,” Chas challenges. “Get his abusive arse locked up like he should've been years ago!” 

“It doesn't work like that, they need proof and I'm not turning on my husband and sending him to prison.” Aaron stares Chas down, both silently glaring before Aaron admits defeat and looks away first. “Mum… I don't want to fight, but this my choice, my life. I love you and I don't want us to fall out again, but I'm leaving with Brandon.” 

“You can't trust him,” Chas said simply, sadly. “He's only going to hurt you again.” 

“You have no room to talk about hurting him, after what you did,” everyone turned to look at Brandon, including Aaron, a sick twisted feeling churning in his gut at Brandon's words. 

“I have never hurt my son the way you have,” Chas said. 

“Really?” Brandon asked indignantly. “So abandoning him when he was a little boy with someone like Gordon was what, a lesson in what happens when your mum doesn't want you anymore?” 

“Stop it,” Aaron says, voice empty as he grabs onto Brandon's arm. “Please stop.” 

“He was better off with Gordon!” Chas sneered, “And you have no right bringing up my past and mistakes. Yeah, I left Aaron but I've tried make up for that-” 

“Make up for it?” Brandon laughed, it was cold and cruel and made Aaron want to curl up in a ball on the floor. “You can't make up for leaving him with a man who ra-” 

“STOP!” Aaron stepped in front of Brandon and shoved him backwards, cutting him off before he could spill Aaron's darkest secret. “I want to go home,” he sounded desperate, like a trapped animal baying to be released. “Right now!” 

“Aaron, no.” Chas begged, walking swiftly out from behind the bar and towards him and Brandon. “Please. You can stay here, get your life back. You don't have to be trapped with him.” 

“I'm not trapped,” Aaron exasperated. “This is my choice and you should accept that!” 

“If you walk out that door…” It was meant to come off as a threat but Chas’ voice was pleading with Aaron not to go. 

“What? Don't come back, is that what you're going to say?” 

“Of course not!” Chas shouted, “I want you to come back, I want you to stay. I'm just afraid.”

“Afraid of what?” Aaron asked. 

“That if you walk out that door the next time I see you, you'll be in a coffin.” 

Aaron flinched, looking over his shoulder once at Brandon before turning back to Chas. “That won't happen. I won't let it. Besides, Brandon will get help. I know he will.” 

“Aaron,” Chas says and it sounds like defeat. “Please?” 

“I love you, mum. I'm sorry for what happened and all those things I said. I don't want to lose you again, but if you can't accept my choice then maybe it's best if we don't see each other.” 

“No,” Chas shakes her head, “don't. I've missed you so much. Stay, please?” 

“I’m going home with my husband.” Aaron said with finality. “I'll talk to you really soon though, yeah?” 

“Aaron, don't!” He swiftly bent down and kissed his mum on the forehead, drowning out any sound of her pleading with him. Aaron turned away from his mum to take Brandon by the arm, pulling him towards the door to leave. 

“Aren't you going to say something!” Chas’ shrieking voice broke through Aaron's deaf ears and he couldn't help glancing over his shoulder to look at her. She had her hands on her hips, back to Aaron but he didn't need to see her face to know she was trying to scare the absolute hell out of Robert. “You're the one who got him away from that lunatic in the first place, and now you're just letting him go back?” 

Brandon's arm spasmed around Aaron's hand but he kept quiet this time. Aaron's eyes flickered over to Robert and found Robert already staring at him. Aaron clenched his jaw, hackles rising in defiance but Robert just shrugged and said, “I made a promise and I'm not gonna break it. Another one Charity?” 

He shook his empty pint glass at Charity behind the bar as Chas gave a loud, frustrated huff. “Fine. I see you're useless. Cain?” 

“Mum,” Aaron snapped before Cain could interfere as well. “I'm going now. I love you, I really do, but you're making this harder than it needs to be. You're not going to control me. I'll speak with you soon,” and then Aaron dragged Brandon from the pub in the direction of Keeper's Cottage. 

“You left with Robert?” Brandon said it in an offhand manner but Aaron could feel the tension Brandon was carrying. “Did you sleep with him?” 

Aaron froze making Brandon as well. “I'm only going to say this once more, Bran. I've never cheated on you. You can't always be accusing me of-” 

“I know,” Brandon said quickly, stepping into Aaron's personal space. “Alright? I just… I can't stand the thought of someone else being with you like that. It makes me feel crazy.” 

“You have nothing to worry about,” Aaron promised. “I'm not in the business of cheating on my husband.” The bitter bite to Aaron’s words said exactly what it needed to without Aaron having to say it out loud. After all, Aaron hadn't been the cheater in their marriage. Brandon's glare said he understood Aaron's tone perfectly. 

“Come on,” Aaron took hold of Brandon's arm again and kept walking. 

Aaron hesitates, lifting his hand to knock on the door of the cottage but stops, realising that whoever's home is expecting him anyway. “Wait here,” he tells Brandon and then goes inside. 

“Rob is that you?” Vic calls from upstairs. 

“Err no,” Aaron shouted back before taking up the stairs. 

“Aaron. Good day with your mum?” Vic asks cautiously as she comes out of her bedroom. 

“Yeah,” Aaron shrugs. “Listen, can you do me a favour and tell Adam bye for me and that I'll see him soon.” It sound like a lie, even to Aaron. He's not sure when he'll see Adam again, but at least he can promise himself to try and make the effort to see his best mate in the future. 

“Where are you going?” She asks but Aaron already knows that Vic knows exactly where he's going.

“Just tell him, yeah?” He goes to Robert’s bedroom and gathers what little he has. Before he can leave, Vic stops him at the top of the stairs. 

“Aaron, Adam deserves a goodbye. After last time…” He knows she's right, but Aaron doesn't know if he can face Adam. After everything he's not sure he can stomach disappointing Adam more. 

“Adam's a big boy, Vic. He'll be fine.” He doesn't wait around, taking the stairs as quickly as he can without causing too much pain to his body. Just as he reaches the last step, he drops his things in surprise when a shout comes from outside and then a loud bang as something is thrown against the front door. 

“Oh no,” Vic groans before she's coming down the stairs. Aaron already has the door open and is running out before Vic makes it down them. 

It's a sight. Brandon is smirking with a cut lip, blood flowing from it as he whispers something to Adam who has hands fisted in Brandon's shirt and looking murderous. Whatever Brandon said made Adam fling Brandon away, he stumbled and fell to the ground. Adam made to move towards Brandon on the ground but Aaron stepped between them. 

“Stop it,” Aaron shouted. Adam didn't listen and tried to shove past Aaron to Brandon but Aaron wasn't having it. He was sick of physical violence. “I said stop it,” he shoved Adam backwards, he almost toppled over like Brandon but was able to gain his footing at last second. 

“You stay away from him,” Adam shouted, it took Aaron a second to realise he was yelling at Brandon. “You're defending him, the man who beats on you?” That was to Aaron. 

“He's my husband,” Aaron pleads the words in hopes Adam will understand. 

“No, Aaron,” Adam seethes. “I'm a husband, you know why I get to call myself that? Because I don't beat on my wife. I don't control my wife. I love and honour and treat her equally to me because that's what a husband does. He doesn't beat up the person he claims to love and stop them from seeing their partners family and manipulating them into doing what they want. That's not a marriage and it sure as hell isn't love.” 

“It won't be like that anymore,” Aaron says desperately. “He's getting help, for me and our marriage. I'm sorry you can't understand that Ad, but I do. I'm going home. I love ya, Adam, but Brandon is my husband. I love him, too.” 

“Fine,” Adam growls. “You want to go back to a place where you have no one to protect you from that monster, so be it. I really hope he doesn't kill you!” 

“Adam,” Aaron cries but it doesn't matter. Adam storms past Aaron and up the path, shoving past Victoria who's still standing in the doorway and doesn't look back. 

It isn't until Brandon puts an arm around Aaron's shoulder to get his attention that he realises he's crying. He wipes angrily at his face and lets Brandon take him to his car. 

Brandon had thought to grab Aaron's bag and tosses it into the backseat. His car smells like air freshener, leather, and Brandon's cologne. It isn't comforting and when they pass the leaving sign out of Emmerdale does Aaron feel like he might suffer from a panic attack. 

“I really did miss you,” Brandon spoke softly in the darkness of the car. “Things will be different now. For the better.” 

That shouldn't have sounded so much like a threat, but it did. 

Aaron assumed he was being paranoid, tried to relax against the leather upholstered seat and took hold of Brandon's hand that wasn't on the steering wheel. 

“Yeah. For the better,” Aaron echoes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 85% of all partners return to their abusers. That's the actual statistic and while I don't want Aaron to be classified as just a "statistic", in this story because Aaron is very codependent on Brandon, since the beginning of the marriage even before the abuse started. It only seems plausible that he would return to Brandon because at this point he has no clue who he is or what he wants anymore so he's very easily manipulated. There is also the fear of being alone and having to learn to start living his life again. 
> 
> The reason I'm saying this is because I really don't want you guys thinking he returned on a statistic. I honestly feel - as I've written him - Aaron would've returned to Brandon, even without manipulation.


	17. Little Green Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that Aaron's back home he expects Brandon to keep his promises, but when has Brandon ever done that before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Dubcon sex scene ahead. 
> 
> I can't believe how much love this story has gotten, it makes me feel all happy inside. You guys are the best and I love each and everyone of you! xx

Aaron lies awake listening to Brandon's heavy breathing, the only sound in the darkness other than rustling of sheets when Aaron has to adjust his position. He's been home two weeks and things feel, well, the same. 

That night Aaron returned home it felt like walking on eggshells, waiting for Brandon to turn on him. He hadn't. Brandon had offered to unpack Aaron's things, taking them upstairs and leaving Aaron downstairs to fret. Aaron had never realised how cold Brandon's house is. The dark wooden floors and rich browns and reds of the walls. Victoria's home was warm and inviting, windows open with sunlight streaming in and the bright blue walls and sunny yellow curtains. It had looked lived in, whereas Brandon's looked like a home that was going on the market to be sold by a realtor and they've made sure the current owners had removed anything that shows people still live there. 

Except for one thing. A wedding photo on the mantle. Aaron had pulled it down when he got home, staring at the smiling faces of two men he didn't recognise anymore. Aaron can't ever remember smiling like that even though the evidence is right in front of his face. Had he really been happy then? Could he be happy again? 

Arms enveloped his waist and Brandon pulled Aaron back against his chest. “Missed you,” he breathed into Aaron's ear. “It's good to have you home,” he said it like Aaron had been gone weeks and not just an overnight. Shouldn't he enjoy that Brandon missed him that much? 

He'd placed the picture back on the mantel and turned in Brandon's arms. “I'm tired,” he said, “think I'm gonna go have a lie down.” 

Brandon's eyes dimmed but he nodded and kissed Aaron before letting him go. 

Two weeks later and Aaron still felt the same. Living in a strange house with a man who shouldn't feel a stranger but does, unhappy and still walking on eggshells. 

Brandon hasn't made the appointment for his medication or sought out any form of counseling. 

Every time Aaron brings it up Brandon shuts him down, making promises and deflecting with how busy work has been and he just hasn't found the time. Aaron's trying to be reasonable and understanding but promises are promises and they're meant to be kept. He's sick of being disappointed by Brandon's broken promises. 

Maybe that's why he does it or maybe it's so he can keep in touch with the outside world, but he kept the prepaid phone Robert had given him. He'd carefully stuck it inside a plastic resealable bag and taped it to the inside of the toilet tank in one of the guest bathrooms that Brandon never uses. 

With Brandon sleeping steadily next to him, Aaron feels safe in getting up. Brandon doesn't move or acknowledge that Aaron got out of bed, so he quietly slips out of their bedroom and down the hall to the guest bathroom that he hid the phone in.

There's a new message from Robert, it was a continuation of their conversation from earlier. He's been speaking with Robert everyday since he left Emmerdale. He's sure Robert's just humoring him at this point, he has no real reason to keep in touch with Aaron. 

The text reads: 

_I can't grow a full beard, so yeah I'm impressed by yours. Mine comes in patchy and blond, I look like a homeless pubescent man._

Aaron snorts, shaking his head but wearing the biggest smile and types out:

_Good thing for you I like the clean cut look._

He's about to send the message when he realises that sounds a lot like flirting. It's something he would say to Brandon, not Robert who's still a stranger. They've only been doing this texting thing back and forth for nearly three days. 

At first Aaron had forgotten about the phone until he'd found it in his pocket when doing laundry. The first text from Robert had been asking if he was okay. The next had begged for a reply, and the last one had been Robert promising to keep everything a secret between them if Aaron was uncomfortable with talking to Robert. 

It wasn't that he didn't trust Robert, he did, but at the same time Robert was still a stranger. He did, however, text back to ease any panic Robert had to let him know he was doing okay. After that they fell into a rhythm. 

Robert seemed to pick up on the times when Aaron was available to text and started sending them at certain times of the day. Aaron was trying to be careful because it was a prepaid phone and he could run out of minutes at any time but he really enjoyed texting Robert. It was nice to have contact with someone else. It couldn't be him and only Brandon forever, Aaron needed mates too. So, why wasn't he telling Brandon any of this and letting him know he was texting Robert? Because after the track record of the last two years, Aaron knew exactly what would happen if Brandon knew about the secret phone and texts. 

The fear that ignited in Aaron alone. 

Maybe that's why he hits send on his text even though he knows it's blatant flirting. It gives him a thrill, not from the danger if Brandon were to find out (no, that feeling made him want to curl into a ball on the floor and never get up) but more of the idea that Brandon _can't_ stop this. Brandon has taken so much already, what's wrong with Aaron having one thing of his own? Someone to talk to instead of a husband he already resents most of the time. Aaron needs this and he won't give it up, even if their conversations dance along the line of flirting. 

He's surprised when another text comes through. It's almost two in the morning. 

_It's a classic look,_ the text says. _You're up late, is everything okay?_

How can one simple text being such a smile to Aaron’s face. _It's because he cares,_ Aaron thinks, but because he can never leave well enough alone to be happy for even a second he has to think, _and he probably thinks you're his responsibility now. Pathetic isn't it?_

Aaron send back a clipped _fine_ and puts the phone back. Laying down next to Brandon should feel natural, he's been doing it for two years now, but in a way it feels like climbing into bed with a stranger. 

****

“Did you call your doctor?” Aaron asked over breakfast. Brandon pauses with a piece of toast in his mouth before biting into the bread. He's silent whilst he chews. 

“I will later,” Brandon finally says. “Things at work have been hectic, I'll find some time to make the call later.” 

The problem with later is it isn't a specific time. Later could be weeks from now. Aaron's shoulders slump, admitting defeat, at least for today. His mind wanders to the hidden phone upstairs and if Robert has texted him this morning. 

****

Maybe he should be more careful. They say time flies when you're having fun and texting Robert is fun and since it is, Aaron doesn't hear when Brandon comes home. The first hint he gets is when the sound of a car door slamming right outside has Aaron sitting ramrod straight. Footsteps on the path has Aaron running upstairs to the guest bathroom. 

He shuts the door to the bathroom just as Brandon shouts, “Aaron?” 

Quickly, Aaron puts the phone back in the plastic bag and fixes the toilet. He's rushing out of the bathroom and down the stairs just as Brandon is shouting for him again. “Hiya,” Aaron says breathlessly, glad that Brandon can't hear how his heart races. “Good day?” 

“Er, yeah. You okay, you look, I don't know, flustered or summat?” 

“Flustered? No, I mean I'm fine. I was just upstairs,” Aaron points over his shoulders and silently curses himself that he never learned how to lie properly. Suddenly Brandon snorts and Aaron goes completely still. 

“You don't have to lie about having a wank,” Aaron hopes Brandon doesn't catch his relieved sigh. “It's okay if you do.” 

Except Aaron doesn't. He doesn't do that anymore. He rarely thinks about sex because sex reminds him of pain and horrifying memories he'd rather not remember. When him and Brandon have sex it feels like another chore he has to do around the house and he just does it, but it doesn't really feel good anymore. Sex is a job, one Aaron could just do without. And when it comes to jerking off Aaron doesn't really want to. If he wakes up hard in the morning he waits for it to go away and it doesn't take long, he doesn't even bother to take the time to rub one out under the hot spray of a shower. He's just not interested anymore. 

But masturbation is the perfect lie. “Was bored,” Aaron shrugs and follows Brandon into the kitchen. “Didn't think you'd be home so early.”

“Sorted through all my paperwork and then skived off, wanted to come home to you. How do you fancy a meal out?” 

“Yeah,” Aaron brightens because they rarely go out. Aaron's face is healed and he feels better than he has in ages. “Italian food?” 

“Whatever you want,” Brandon promises and pulls Aaron against him. “And after we can work out whatever sexual frustrations you might be feeling.” Aaron shivers against Brandon and he mistakes it for anticipation, slapping Aaron on the butt and telling him to go clean up. 

Aaron reminds himself it's just another job to do as a husband. 

****

They went to a restaurant called _Ciao Bella_. They've gotten take away a few times and only ever ate in once. The atmosphere is nice, live band music, an in house bar and a private reserved table for two with the name Houser on the list. 

How Brandon got their name on the list so fast Aaron will never know. But he assumes money was exchanged.

Aaron sits when Brandon pulls his chair out for him. There are lit candles on the table, illuminating their faces in the dim lighting of the restaurant. Some couples are out on the dance floor, swaying to the soft melody the band plays. Aaron feels comfortable enough to finally really breathe. 

While Aaron feels relaxed he also feels nervous, like first date jitters. How can someone feel so nervous after two years of being married? Aaron should be able to drum up conversation about anything and flow with it because it's his husband sitting across from him and not a stranger. But is it really? 

“Did you call your doctor?” Aaron asked and that wasn't what he wanted to start with, not really, but it was the first thought that popped into his head. 

“Completely slipped my mind,” Brandon explained apologetically. “First thing tomorrow, promise.” 

They make it through dinner with mostly idle chit chat. Brandon talks about work which prompts Aaron to suggest he start looking for a job. Aaron would like to start working again. 

He's pleasantly surprised when Brandon agrees. 

“Something part time,” Brandon muses, “few times a week could be good for you.”

“That's what I was thinking,” Aaron smiled brightly and touched Brandon's hand that was lying face down on the table. 

“Well isn't this a surprise,” someone said as they came to look over there table. The smile slid right off of Aaron's face as he looked up to meet Robert's blue eyes. “Aaron, it's lovely to see you again. Brandon, lovely isn't a strong enough word for you.” 

“Robert,” Aaron breathes out his name. He doesn't know what to do. It's almost unreal because in a way he's built Robert up in his mind as this amazing man who jokes, makes Aaron laugh even when he's sad and worries over Aaron even though Aaron isn't his responsibility. He's Aaron's safety net but that could all be lies, anyone can lie over the phone. This man standing in front of Aaron is a stranger. A stranger who Aaron wants to get up and hug to greet like an old friend. 

“Robert,” Brandon sneers. “Do you mind, _my_ husband and I are trying to enjoy dinner, alone. You're interrupting our date.” 

Aaron wants to reprimand him for being so rude but he doesn't know what that would look like, apologising on Brandon's behalf to a man who knows about their past. 

“I apologise,” Robert nods to Brandon. “You're looking well,” he says to Aaron. “Really well,” he adds. To the untrained eye Robert would look like any other man checking someone out but Aaron knows he's looking for any sign of bruising. 

Brandon clears his throat just as a brunette woman walks over to them and puts her arm around Robert's waist. “Robert, I'm afraid they said it would be a twenty minute wait. The hostess said to take a seat at the bar.” 

“Of course,” Robert says to his...date? Mate? The arm Robert wraps around her doesn't imply just “mates”. 

A hot burst of jealousy twisted in Aaron's gut and shocking him because that isn't right. Robert's date isn't someone to warrant jealousy over. Or maybe the jealousy is coming from the way Robert holds her? Because Brandon doesn't casually put his arm around Aaron. No, he puts it there when he's being possessive or to keep his hold so Aaron can't runaway. 

It's unfair. Even now, Brandon reaches over to take hold of Aaron's hand but it's not out of love or solidarity it feels like he's saying, _yes, Aaron is mine, what are you gonna do about it?_

“Chrissie this is Aaron and his husband Brandon. I used to work with Brandon.” Used to? 

“Used to?” Aaron voices. He looks at Brandon who is glaring hatefully up at a smirking Robert. 

Robert hadn't mentioned being sacked, neither had Brandon. “Yes,” Robert finally answers. “Two days after you went home I was sacked. Apparently my work was subpar.”

“Brandon?” Aaron questions sharply. 

Brandon clears his throat and sits up. “The partners made the choice and I just delivered the message, Robert. You can see my husband and I are on a date and whilst I'm sure you've accomplished whatever you set out to do by interrupting us tonight, I think it's time you left us alone.”

They silently glare at one another until finally Robert blinks first and smiles. “Of course,” he nods, “didn't mean to interrupt. Brandon. Aaron,” Robert turned his whole body towards Aaron, making sure that everyone knew he was giving his undivided attention to him. “It was really good to see you, you look… healed.” 

“Yes,” Aaron cleared his throat. “Goodbye, Robert.” 

Aaron waited until Robert and his date were gone before angrily pulling his hand back from Brandon. “Did you have him fired?” He accused. “All because he helped me?”

“No. Robert was fired because he couldn't do his job properly. The partners sacked him, I can't help it if they asked me to deliver the message.” 

Aaron silently fumed before standing up. “And I'm just sure you couldn't wait to deliver it. That's just like you, something bothers you or you can't handle it, you lash out and control it!” He snapped. 

“Where are you going?” Brandon demanded. 

“To the toilets if you must know!” Aaron said loudly enough to gather some attention. He didn't care too much. 

He stands in front of the sink, torn between anger and guilt. Robert lost his job, the way he earned his income, all because Aaron couldn't handle his own problems. He's surprised Robert didn't tell him or place blame on him, he'd have deserved it if he had. 

He's standing there, hunched over with his hands gripping the sink when Robert walks in. Aaron looks up and meets his eyes through the mirror. “I'm sorry,” Aaron said in defeat. “You should've never bothered with me.” 

“Aaron,” Robert sighed and walked the rest of the way into the bathroom, leaning up against the wall next to the sinks. “I don't blame you. Brandon wanted me gone and he got what he wanted, it's not your fault. Unless you asked Brandon to fire me and if you did I'm realising you're very two faced.” 

It's a joke and Aaron knows that so he gives a half smile. “What are you gonna do now?” 

“I have some contacts. It might take me away from Emmerdale but I'm using those as a last resort. Who knows,” Robert shrugs, “maybe I'll start my own firm.” 

“I should go,” Aaron sighed. “Y’know, before Brandon thinks we're doing something other than talking.” 

“He didn't see me come in,” Robert said quickly. “Too busy talking with the waitress. Aaron, you look… well, but that's just what I can see. You don't tell me much over your texts. Are you really okay?” 

“It's… the same but not. He hasn't hit me if that's what you're wondering. He's just, he's making promises he's not keeping again and I'm finding I don't know if I can really trust him.” 

“But you love him?” 

“Of course,” Aaron replies without thinking. He does _love_ Brandon but sometimes he finds it _hard_ to love Brandon, and Aaron knows in the back of his mind love isn't supposed to be hard. Loving someone should be the easiest thing you do and maybe he's fighting a losing battle but he has to try. Right? 

“If you ever need me,” Robert said and reached into his pocket. “Just call or text. Here,” he pulls out his wallet and takes a plastic card out of it and passes it to Aaron. “I was going to come by your home and give you this but since we're here. It's for the phone, to refill the minutes. That's if you still want to talk with me.”

Aaron's chest warms at how vulnerable Robert sounded just then and he can't help but smile and take the card from Robert. “'Course I do,” Aaron admits. “It's nice having someone other than Brandon to talk with. I've tried my mum a few times but we keep fighting and hanging up on one another. Adam won't take my calls.” 

“He's being thick,” Robert snapped heatedly. “He'll come 'round in the end and realise you're an adult that can make your own choices.” 

This is why he likes Robert. He's someone who allows Aaron to think and feel for himself, he trusts Aaron to make his own choices. Suddenly Aaron gets the urge to hug Robert and does. Robert tenses at first before realising it's only a hug and wraps his arms around Aaron and patting him on the back. 

“Thanks,” Aaron mumbles after he pulls back. He clears his throat, feeling awkward now. Never the one to show outright affection. “You best get back to your date before she thinks you're sick in here or summat.” 

“Yeah I should,” Robert agreed. “How about you go first, I'm sure Brandon is wondering even more about you.” 

“Alright. I'll talk with you soon.” Robert nods as Aaron leaves the bathroom. 

Brandon's standing at the table and searching the crowd, jaw clenched tight. Finally his eyes land on Aaron and he glares. “Are you done having your little strop in the bathroom? Only thing is you've made me look like an idiot and I'd like to go home now!” 

“Fine!” Aaron snapped and let Brandon lead them both out of the restaurant. Aaron picked the conversation back up in the car. “Why did you have to have Robert sacked? What did he do to deserve that?” 

“I told you, his work-” 

“How about the truth, Brandon!” Aaron shouted. “Why do you always have to lie. You lie about this, about going back on your meds and getting help. I told you I'd leave if you didn't get help, Bran!” 

“I've told you, I haven't had the time to make the appointments but I will. You keep pushing me and…” 

“And what?” Aaron growls, clearly hearing the threat in Brandon's voice. 

Brandon sighed tiredly. “Do we have to do this, Aaron? Do you really want to fight? Tonight was supposed to be fun, not this. Why do you keep pushing me?” 

Guilt makes Aaron's stomach ache. He was supposed to be better than this, they both were. Aaron had made a promise to himself to not push Brandon and put so much pressure on him. After all, Robert's just a mate - if Aaron can even call a relationship through texts a friendship - and Robert reassured him that he's fine and he'll figure things out. There is no point in fighting with Brandon, so why is Aaron pushing for it? 

“You're right,” Aaron agrees. “It's none of our business what happens with Robert. I'm sorry for how I acted.” 

Aaron tugs on the sleeve of Brandon's suit jacket and at first Aaron thinks Brandon will ignore him but - and Aaron can tell he's reluctant - Brandon takes one hand off the steering wheel so Aaron can hold his hand. He brings Brandon's hand up to his lips and kisses the warm skin of his palm. 

Back home Aaron goes through the house, turning lights on as he does, going straight for the kitchen for a glass of water.

Brandon comes up behind him and hugs him close as Aaron drinks. He begins kissing at Aaron's neck, tonguing at the pulse point the way Aaron has always liked, except there's nothing now, but Aaron leans into anyway and sighs like he's happy. 

Aaron hums and reaches behind to card his fingers through Brandon's hair, hissing when Brandon's sucks hard at the skin beneath his ear, leaving behind a darkening bruise. Aaron delights in the fact that Brandon didn't use his fist to make it. 

“How about you go upstairs,” Brandon whispers hotly into his ears. “I have a few things to take care of down here and then I'll be right up. Will you wait for me?” 

“I might,” Aaron says cheekily. “Better make it worth my while, though.” 

Aaron kisses his husband, letting their lips linger together before pulling away and going upstairs. 

In their bedroom he strips down to his boxer briefs, hanging up his suit. He takes the plastic card Robert gave him in the bathroom and hid it in his bedside drawer. He brushes his teeth in the bathroom, avoiding looking in the mirror at his body and goes back to the bedroom where Brandon is waiting at the foot of the bed, barefoot and shirt removed leaving him in only his trousers. 

Brandon's eyes are carefully blank as he inspects Aaron's body and Aaron has to fight the urge to try and hide behind his arms. “Come here,” Brandon said steadily. Aaron padded across the carpeted floor, stopping in front of Brandon, resting his hands on Brandon’s bare waist.

“Hi,” Aaron sighed out and stood up on his tiptoes to initiate a kiss. He had control for all of three seconds before Brandon cupped the back of his head and licked into Aaron's mouth, taking what he wanted from the kiss. The hand at the back of his neck tightened and Aaron hissed in pain. “Ah, Bran, not so rough.” 

Brandon grunts an acknowledgement and loosens his grip. It's good for a while, just kissing and hands sliding over warm flesh. Brandon grabs Aaron by the arse, hands gripping tight enough to make Aaron flinch, and he forced Aaron's groin against his own and started grinding. Aaron was still soft unlike Brandon, his cock thick and hard against Aaron's body. 

“Slower,” Aaron gasped, the quick jerks of their hips too uncomfortable for Aaron. “That doesn't feel good.” 

Brandon let's go of Aaron like Aaron's skin burned his hands, but he quickly turns Aaron around and presses his body against Aaron's back, sucking and biting as his neck. A hand closed around his throat when Aaron tried to get away from Brandon. “Calm down,” Brandon ordered. “You're acting ridiculous.” 

“Well you're hurting me,” Aaron snapped. 

“You're only being sensitive,” Brandon said like he was bored with it all. “You've never had a problem before.”

It takes everything Aaron has not to scoff, because yeah, he has had a problem with it. Many times. 

“Could you please not be so rough with me?” 

“Fine,” Aaron doesn't need to see Brandon's face to know he's rolling his eyes. “Princess,” he seems to add as an afterthought to put Aaron down. 

Whatever it was that made Brandon say it embarrassed Aaron enough so that next time Brandon manhandled him too roughly Aaron bit his bottom lip to keep in his whine of pain. He had Aaron on the bed, both of them naked with Brandon hard and dripping precum. Aaron was still soft. Brandon seemed to be ignoring that fact. “Roll over,” Brandon demanded and slapped Aaron's thigh. Aaron had half a mind to tell Brandon to finish with his hand but Brandon's never listened to that suggestion before. 

Brandon moved behind Aaron and Aaron thinks he's going to prep, he doesn't expect Brandon to try and push in with no prep or lube. “What the fuck, Bran!” Aaron shouts and sits up, pushing Brandon away from him.

“What?” Brandon shrugs. “What is your problem now?” 

“How about you open me up first with some lube,” Aaron shouted. “Are you trying to fucking hurt me?” 

“You are such a drama queen, Aaron,” Brandon exasperated. “You've never had a problem with it before.” 

“You never exactly gave me the choice to have a problem with it before,” Aaron snapped back. 

Brandon goes stock still, hands clenching into fists by his sides. “What are you saying? That I forced you?” 

“Bran,” Aaron said calmly, suddenly feeling like a skittish dog that knew a punishment was coming. Aaron tried to even hunker down so he appeared smaller. “That's not what I-” 

“Because I've told you before, you're not that weak pathetic child who couldn't stop daddy anymore. I have never done that to you, so don't you dare accuse me of that!” 

“I'm not accusing,” Aaron said softly, trying to soothe Brandon. He could tell it wasn't working so he got up on his knees on the bed and wrapped his arms around Brandon's neck and made Brandon look him in the face. “I'm not accusing you of that, I'm just saying that sometimes it doesn't feel good when you go rough. I prefer if you were slower and opened me up first. So it's good for both of us.” 

Brandon seems to thaw slightly at Aaron's words so Aaron finishes by kisses him dirty, slipping his tongue in and reaching down to pump Brandon's cock in his fist until he's fully hard again. “Fuck me,” Aaron whispers against his mouth before biting Brandon's bottom lip. “Just use this first.” Aaron gets the lube out of the bedside cabinet and presses it into Brandon's hands. 

“Fine,” Brandon gave an exaggerated sigh, like the idea of having to open Aaron up wasn't worth his time. “Get on you hands and knees.” Aaron does, ass up and face resting against his folded arms.

He doesn't go slow. Brandon's still rough and he keeps sighing in annoyance like he's bored having to finger his husband. He doesn't do a lot of prep, two fingers quickly scissored inside Aaron and then Brandon's gripping painfully at his hips. Aaron bites the pillow to stop from screaming.

It was never like this in the beginning. Brandon would spend hours on foreplay, used to enjoy making Aaron fall apart in a good way. Would take his time to tease him to that edge and then fuck him good and proper. This… this was painful. Not as bad on those nights when Brandon's rage or drunkenness would have Aaron screaming in pain beneath him until Aaron couldn't remember who or where he was. The small amount of lube Brandon used did slick up the way but it still burned, the lack of proper stretching caused Aaron's eyes to water. 

There would be bruises still, Aaron was sure of it. Some on his ass where Brandon's hips slammed painfully against Aaron and his hips would have fingerprint bruises where Brandon gripped him too tightly. At one point Aaron tried to get up and move his weight to his hands and arms but Brandon grabbed him by the back of the neck and forced him back down, hips not even stuttering. 

Even with the attention to Aaron's prostate he doesn't get hard. When Brandon finally comes, inside and without a condom, he pulls out and rolls to his side of the bed. Aaron collapses down and keeps his head turned away from Brandon, quickly wiping at the few tears that spilled before looking over at Brandon who looked mighty pleased with himself. 

“Good for you?” 

No. Not it was not. “The best.” Brandon kissed him before shutting off the lights. Aaron laid awake until the sky started to lighten outside. 

****

The next morning saw Aaron and Brandon in the kitchen having breakfast. Aaron just sat down at the island with Brandon, his third cup of coffee in his hand and he asked. “Did you make the appointment with your doctor to get on your meds?” 

Brandon rolled his eyes. “I won't have time today, huge deposition.” 

Aaron saw red, rage boiling in his veins. He thought about last night and the control Brandon exuded over him in bed. He'd fucking had enough. “Why the fuck are you doing this?” Aaron demanded, slamming his mug down, coffee sloshing over the rim. “You promised me! I told you I'd fucking leave if you don't get help. WHY ARE YOU RUINING OUR FUCKING MARRIAGE?” 

“Don't you yell at me,” Brandon warned. “I will get help, calm down you whiny husband.” 

“Husband,” Aaron sneered. “Get help today or I fucking leave you. I'm done with this. I'm done with you!” Aaron stormed out of the kitchen and up the stairs, slamming the door to their bedroom, the loud bang ringing in his ears. 

He threw himself down on the bed and cried hot tears of pity and hatred and disappointment. He just wants Brandon to stop disappointing him. He just wants a husband who doesn't constantly fucking lie to him. He deserves that much. 

Aaron half expected Brandon to follow him up and keep fighting, instead he hears Brandon's car start outside and drive away. 

_That's that,_ Aaron thinks bitterly. 

****

Aaron's cleaning up from where he made dinner when Brandon comes home. He's late and Aaron’s already exhausted from the idea of listening to Brandon's tired excuses. He ignored Brandon when he comes into the kitchen, just grabs their dinner plates and shoves past his husband to place them on the table. He sits down and starts eating without even acknowledging Brandon.

Brandon walks over and places something down on the table at Aaron's elbow. 

It's a small bottle of pills. 

“I went to the doctor.” Brandon said and walked out of the room to get two cans of lager for them - it's the only alcohol they keep in the house now, except for the times Brandon brings home a bottle of wine. 

Aaron picks up the bottle with shaking hands and reads the label. It's Prozac, the date on the bottle for today. He opens the bottle and pours some of the pills into his palm and suddenly feels like crying. The tiny green tablets with the V on them meant so much to Aaron. It meant a new beginning for them. 

Finally they could start over. Aaron thought that maybe his future didn't seem so bleak now.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is always great so leave comments if you wish. Kudos too!


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